A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:ive always liked to do my hair and makeup in different ways as it helps in my confidence and sometimes I think I do it quite nice other times I think it doesn't look so nice . I really envy people who can do there eye makeup really good I try to get inspiration from this and look in magazines for various ways to do it . I normally like to use quite bright colours and glitter but it does not always look great . a lot of people have said it looks really nice when I go out to clubs and some people have made a few remarks and it really upsets me as I try to do it so good , my dad in particular makes comments like what have you done to your eyes ,saying I look younger and that he doesn't like it although I like it but again sometimes I admit it doesn't always look great but I try, id like advice on whether to continue to do my eye makeup in the way I do it despite negative comments in particular from my dad although I know hes not trying to be nasty just honest as sometimes I do ask his opinion other times he will just look at me and say something that I don't like about it which makes me feel embarrassed to go out and I often start my makeup again ,id also like advice on how to block negative comments , and how to get better at doing it .
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2018): There is so much said and done in protection of those who are actually bullied and ostracized; that everyone is becoming victimized and oversensitive to the degree, no one wants to take criticism, advice, or be corrected. Yet everyone wants to dish it out when they're the ones who have an opinion.
Your parents are your role-models, home-based guidance counselors, teachers, protectors, and the very people who gave you life. Yes, some parents are harsh and mean in their delivery. Nowadays, if you don't tell people what they want to hear; you're abusive, or picking on them. If you wanted your father's real opinion; he's likely to be more honest. His opinion is more heartfelt, than a group of your peers. The people who may just say something mean, just to amuse themselves with your reaction. Taking delight in your embarrassment or shame.
It's a cruel world out there; and you have to grow a thicker skin and prepare for it.
If you wear make-up, who are you wearing it for? Make-up is for the eye of the beholder. People you know and hang-around are the first to give you their opinions. Compliments come from other people. Sometimes there is nothing to compliment. Surely, if you thought someone you cared about was looking like a clown, or a drag queen, you'd let her know.
There are literally hundreds of tutorials online that cater and relate to all age-groups; and it's just a matter of choosing one that suites your taste and style. You can try all the styles you like; but some shouldn't leave your house.
If you want to be really flamboyant and have a flair for the more dramatic; at your age, that might be a bit much. Too much eye-liner, or the smokey-eye might be a bit heavy to got to the market. Unless you're a pop-star or performer. There's day make-up, and night make-up. You apply it according to the time of day, and the occasion. If you don't know, learn!
Yes, dads will be the first to tell his daughter if he thinks her make-up makes her look like a streetwalker, or Cleopatra. I would not recommend using that description; but I would recommend that he speak his mind, for her sake.
Then there is a matter of skill in the application of make-up. It takes practice, good lighting, and you have to apply it evenly. You can't apply too many different colors, fake lashes, and glitter all at the same time. Okay for a drag show; otherwise, too much! Eyebrows shouldn't look like the McDonald's golden arches (certainly not like McDonald the clown himself), or make you look surprised at everybody! It will make anyone look silly.
Make-up isn't natural, so criticism should be welcomed. It can be removed, or adjusted.
Always consider the source. You can't control every word that comes out of your own mouth. If you could go a lifetime without offending someone with something you've said; you would have matched God Himself with being perfect. So you have to ignore things you don't like; depending on who's pie hole it came out of. If you hang with mean abusive-people, you are likely to get your feelings hurt on a regular basis. Therefore, you drop them as a friend. Period! If you run into opinionated-strangers; you've got to learn how to dodge bullets, or throw a few darts. Best to roll your eyes, and ignore those idiots. Don't make every insult stick!
My sisters, nieces, girlfriends, and almost all the females I know get together; and they exchange hair and make-up secrets. That's what most girls do when they have sleep-overs, or slumber parties. Girl's night, isn't always just going out. It's staying-in, doing facials, coloring hair, and bashing guys. They practice doing hair, nails, make-up, and critique how each other looks. They help each other.
I always say, if you think you can do better; show me! Well, my boyfriend says I dress nice; but I'm too conservative and it makes me look like a church deacon or an FBI agent. He also didn't like my "regular-fitting" jeans. He prefers I wear slim-fit. He has spruced me up a bit. He showed me how to dress casually, but tastefully; and have a little flair. I workout, so he wanted to show me off. I could have taken everything badly; but taking his advice draws a lot of compliments. More than I got before. I have an eye for fashion; I just went a little far out of my way in understating my appearance. Not sure why. Conservatism, I guess.
In make-up, less is more! You are very young, so you are entitled to look quirky and to experiment with your looks. It's just that you have to be careful with make-up; due to the fact that sometimes the wrong kind of people are observing. Pervs! You don't really need, or want, their attention. Dad is being dad; but those friends may be teasing you, or jealous. If it happens too often, and the comments are too personal. They are not friends!
If they are being honest and trying to help you; don't be so oversensitive that you can't tell the difference. You're not a little-girl.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (1 August 2018):
 You can't control what people say or do, but you CAN control how you react.
Instead of getting all hurt and upset, laugh it off and say something like "Yeah, don't think this was my best effort. Oh well, I'll try something different next time."
As for others making comments, as my dear old mum used to say, "The only person who doesn't get criticized is the person who doesn't do anything". There will always be people who will like what you do and other who will NOT like what you do. Don't allow them to control your life or how you feel about yourself. They are as entitled to NOT like something they see as YOU are to do what you like. Their opinions don't really matter. They are just that - their OPINIONS. I appreciate you are still at an age when you are insecure in your own skin, but try to grow a bit less sensitive and practice smiling and not giving a shit. In time this will become your default reaction and you will REALLY not care.
Live your life as you see fit. Be happy. Don't let others eat away at your happiness.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (1 August 2018):
 If you don't want his honest opinion, don't ask him.
There are a ton of great make up tutorials on YouTube. Depending on what style you want to go for.
The thing about make up (for many young women) is that it's part of growing up. The more you practice the better you get.
But I will agree with your dad that A LOT of eye-make up for just daily use make you look younger. Eye-make up is there to ENHANCE your eyes, make then a focal point not to make people go.. I didn't even notice her eyes over all that make up.
Personally? I'd start small and then add on as I get better. Like, start getting good with the eyeliner. It can be a full on cat-eye or just a subtle like. Once you get that down (learning how to get them even, takes practice). Then you learn to do a "natural" look that includes well-blended shadows, then a less natural look etc.
I had a friend who loved to do a "smokey eye" but really it just looked like a raccoon or that someone gave her a black eye. Why? Because she really didn't know what she was doing. But you know what? She still wore it out in public.
So, do you. Have fun with make-up. Just remember unless you are doing "drag make-up" quite often LESS is more.
As for how you block negative comments? You just smile and PRETEND you don't care. After a while you probably won't care as much.
BIT also remember not all critique is meant to be mean. So if a person tells you it looks dreadful or whatnot, consider the person who said it - if they generally are NOT rude or mean, then they are probably trying to help you.
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