A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:I'm going to be graduating this year with a civil engineering degree. I will probably end up becoming a chartered engineer but i'm in a dilemma. I would like to travel and work but i also would like to et married and have children.But that's the problem, if I do end up still travelling when I'm a engineer, I'm worried I will be spending too much time away and my mife/gf might end up having an affair.My question is how do I avoid being a victim of infidelity and still be a civil engineer?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (10 October 2007):
 Hello Anonymous,
There are no guarantees in any relationship regardless of your profession and how frequently you are on travel. Some people will cheat 10 minutes after seeing their partners and some will never ever cheat for their entire lives.
I guess the best piece of advice I can give you is to get to know the person before you actually become invovled in a romantic relationship. Take it slow and don't rush things. (This is what dating is all about - finding the right person!)
Take care.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (10 October 2007):
 Your question is a little biased, as you're assuming your wife/girlfriend will be the only one to give in to temptation. You will meet a lot of exotic people, many of whom will find you attractive, and you might give in, too.
I've never been in such a position, but, I understand some professions have downsides such as this one. Diplomats, for all the charm they might find in their professions, need to move every two or three years. If you want to be a chartered engineer, you will have to accept this fact.
Maybe a wife or girlfriend would like to travel with you? I met some engineers from Peru, and they travel with their families. That's a way for the children to learn their way around the world.
And then, bad news: people can be unfaithful even if you don't spend too much time away from them. So, there's really no way to be sure you won't be cheated on. Perhaps the best assurance there can be is to be a caring partner.
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A
female
reader, Manya +, writes (10 October 2007):
There is no easy answer to this question. They say cheating is partly the character of the person and may be
partly circumstantial. From the way you write, you don't sound like a natural cheater, and hopefully have never done so. So you're worried about the second part, tempations far away? Really, you are your own boss and can regulate this within yourself. If you married or became deeply involved with a woman, you will never want to ever hurt them. You could go the drinking -with-buddies route, and be ever-faithful.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007): There is no answer to that question. Either don't have a wife & kids, or do & never know 100% that there is no infidelity going on, or choose a different career. There are a lot of jobs in engineering that don't require traveling. And there's always the chance that you will be the one cheating. Women with babies to look after rearly would get the opportunity to cheat. trust me I am a stay home mom.
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