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I married him but now I feel trapped. What do I do?

Tagged as: Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 December 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 9 December 2011)
A female United States age 41-50, *ophie45 writes:

At first I thought he was a nice and generous guy.. He paid for the restaurant meals.. paid some of the bills.. I was happy then..so I thought I love him..I decided to have a baby with him.. and then we got married,=. But now that we're married, he's always complaining about money. he's always demanding for me to work and also watch the baby... which made me feel unhappy and think that I made a mistake in marrying him.. now I try to work on the weekends when he's off and he's been demanding for my paychecks and he says he wants to know every penny that Im making..we've only been married 10 months.. but I feel miserable and I don't love him anymore..I am turned off by him because he's so worked up about money.. and that really turns me off... the only time I am able to relax my mind is when I'm asleep. but when I wake up during the day I think about what a mistake I made in marrying him..I regret marrying him.. but now I have a baby with him, its hard to leave... he's not the man I really want to be with... i see him and I don't even want to have sex with him. he is good with the baby though.. and he tells me that If i don't want to be with him anymore, he's going to take the baby.. I don't know what to do.. I'm just miserable.. I realize that I don't love him anymore...I'm just trying to stay because I know its gonna be messy if I divorce him and its hard being on my own with the baby as a single mom.. but I don;t feel happy at all with him.. I feel depressed and miserable.. I don't know what to do?? I feel trapped..

View related questions: depressed, divorce, money, trapped

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (9 December 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntunless you are an active dangerous drug addict or murderer or there is some compelling reason why he should have custody he can fight all he wants... in the USA the mother almost always gets custody no matter what the father says or wants.

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A female reader, sophie45 United States +, writes (9 December 2011):

sophie45 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

He is a controlling man.. I don't love him anymore .. he is always trying to play with the baby so that he can win the baby's favor. I am worried and I haven't been able to sleep..

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A female reader, sophie45 United States +, writes (9 December 2011):

sophie45 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I have fallen out of love with him and every day I just miserable ..he's been telling me that If I don't want to be married to him anymore he will fight for custody of the baby and I can have visitation.

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A female reader, bardia United States +, writes (8 December 2011):

bardia agony auntThis sounds like a potentially dangerous situation if he is making such threats and demands as these. You really need outside help. Can you involve your parents or other trusted family members or friends? Like someone said you can also go to social services or womens shelters. You need to be safe & this has potential to get really bad really fast. If he lays a finger on you, you leave for a safe place. If he's willing to talk and be reasoned with, you both need counseling. Do not brush off whatever incidents set up red flags. Please be safe!

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (8 December 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntif the only concern and problem is money, perhaps you can sit down and talk to him about it... find out what the budget is and why he's so stressed about it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2011):

He is bullying and harrassing you,and you could go to social services and ask them to look after you and the baby while you carry out the divorce. You only have one life, dont live it out miserable with this pathetic man.

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