A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i've just come to terms with the fact that my ex doesn't love me, never had, it was a game to him..and ever since then i've been depressed..felt used..felt dirty..as he was the furthest i've been with..but i did a bad thing i was at a party and made out with his/my mate of 5 years who has a girlfriend, now he doesnt speak to me or look at me..i feel disgusted in my self..what can i do to make things right for myself..i've never done this kind of thing before..i feel so low..how do i get my life back on track
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female
reader, kimmy  +, writes (15 September 2007):
 I totally agree with what Brook said, Listen to her. Everything has a way of working its self out.
A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (15 September 2007):
 oh dear. what a pickle. ok lets see if we can sort through it together bit by bit.
the ex = loser. dont feel dirty or ashamed, you have done nothing wrong. what you need to do is turn that relationship into a positive experience so you can get through the depression stage. the easiest way to turn it around is to try to think about what you learned from it. try to think of something you would do differently if you could go back in time. that is what you have learned and that is what you will take into your next relationship and you will be a little bit stronger and a little bit more prepared next time.
now. onto the mate. the reason he is not speaking to you or not looking at you is because he feels guilty. not because you are disgusting or dirty or that he doesnt like you. you were lonely and depressed - he was there. it happens. it wasnt the smartest move to make but i can understand why you did it. just make sure it doesnt happen again because it is not fair to go near someone who has a girlfriend. we women shouldnt be doing that to each other we should stick together! and you will only confuse yourself if you complicate things further with him. give him space and let him get over the guilt he feels from cheating on his girlfriend. he may be worried that he has confused you and that you are expecting him to leave her to be with you. give him time to clear his head and then speak to him but dont mention this just say he whats up and talk to him the way you always have and as if nothing has happened. im sure your friendship can be saved.
it will all blow over and although it all feels like such a big deal right now, try to remember that one day all of this will be exactly one year ago and it will be just a memory. so hold on because these things have a way of sorting themselves out.
hugs and kisses
brooke xx
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