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I love my teacher.

Tagged as: Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 April 2007) 141 Answers - (Newest, 25 April 2010)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I'm 16 and my teacher's 44. I have a feeling that he might like me too. I know it's a big age difference, but I can't help it. He's in here. *points to heart* I can never tell if he's flirting with me or not. When he sits next to me, he's unbelieveably close. I've seen him sit next to other students, and there's like enough space between them to fit a bag. When I was finished taking my PSAT (that time back in October), I caught him looking at me. He quickly turned away, and I could see an embarrassed look on his face. On a stairway in my school, I caught him looking at my legs, but I'm not sure if that counts, because I was wearing black stockings. i don't know. We talk a lot, he's the only teacher in my school I have real conversations with. The main reason we talk a lot is because i'm sort of on the school's sport's team, and he's the coach. Sometimes when I'm around him, his face turns red. We look at each other constantly, and he smiles at me a lot. I feel like I can talk to him about anything. It's been this way since Freshman year. One time last year, after a game, I was waiting outside the school for my mom. He waited with me. He said to me, "At least we get to spend some quality time together." and he smiled at me.

One time at practice, my friend Jeniffer was looking through my folder and found a picture of Johnny Depp(my favorite actor)My teacher sneaked up behind her, and said "What are you doing?" She said, "We're looking at (my name)'s boyfriend." My teacher gave me a weird look, and I almost thought he was jealous. He asked, (to Jeniffer), "Does she have a picture of him?" He said, "He looks a little old." and he looked at me. I said to him, "He's your age." He looked at me, "My age?" I said, "Almost, you're older by a few months." Then later on, he told Jeniffer to get up and start playing. My teacher said, (to Jeniffer), "You should be playing better than me. I'm an old man....I'm old as pirate guy." and he looked at me. He said, "arrghh I'm a pirate." Then later on, when we were walking back to school, my phone was ringing. It was a number I didn't recognize so I didn't answer it. My teacher asked, "That wasn't pirate guy was it?" I said, "No." He asked me, "Ever see the movie, Edward Scissorhands?" I said "yeah." One time I was reading the school newspaper with him, and our arms brushed against each other, and he seemed, i don't know tense.

There was this one time where the team had a game that day. I was sitting there with him, and He said he was going to draw pictures of our team. (my friend got bored, so she drew pictures too) (that's why my teacher started drawing) We looked at each other constantly, while he was drawing. It took him like a half hour, and when he was done, I was surprised. My teacher had drawn me as a sunflower. It even had my eyes. My friend asked the teacher, "Who's that supossed to be?" (pointing to my picture) He said, "It's (my name)." My teacher said, "Look at the eyes." And he smiled at me.

The other day, he really hurt me. I saw him kiss his wife. I swore I felt my heart breaking, like it dropped to the pit of my stomach, like my heart was just ripped out. Later on, it looked like he was going to kiss her again, but he didn't. Just as he was about to, he looked at me. I guess he saw the hurt look on my face, because he backed away from his wife. I just wish he would stop hurting me. But the worst part is, he doesn't even know he's doing it. He keeps leaving me confused half of the time. You can't have a wife, and flirt with one of your students. I can't even begin to explain how I feel. This is completely pointless, he keeps crappin' on me and I still keep holding on.

I know most of you will say "Oh forget it! He's never going to like you! It's innappropiate! It's wrong and disgusting!" Even though I respect most of your opinions, haven't you ever been in a situation like this? Not exactly same as mine, but having an unrequited love. You should know how terrible it feels. Watching someone you love..love someone else. It's the worse kind of heartbreak. I've tried getting over him...twice! No matter what I do, I still fall back in love with him.

So can anyone give me advice? Is he really flirting with me? what do I do?

View related questions: flirt, jealous, my teacher

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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010):

As someone who is currently in a relationship with a former teacher I would advise against making any move. I am very happy in my relationship but it is likely to be the exception to the rule and my now boyfriend has said to me that if I had made a move he wouldn't have.

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A female reader, StephanieLOL United Kingdom +, writes (16 April 2010):

StephanieLOL agony auntSame situation as me, well, was in. :/.

Apart from, less of an age difference - he's 24. I'm 16 (now, I'm 20 and he's 28). He's absolutely gorgeous. I've been noticing he treats me different to other girls in my class. He smiles at me and looks at me a lot. He's told me on three occasions that he loved me.

One time, my friend told him that I was sad. He looked at me, smiling. He held his arms out and gave me a hug, it felt like I was on top of the world, he held me tight, I could feel the tension. Later on, when we were alone, he leaned on one of the tables and leaned towards me, he touched my arm and pulled me towards him, he gave me a kiss. Just a little peck... on the lips... but, still... a kiss. I could feel him smiling and I saw myself kissing back.

On parents evening, he told my mum I was his favorite student. He talked to me more than he did my mum. He asked me to do a few jobs for him. So, I did. When I was in the middle of one of the jobs, he came up to me, he slowly reached into his pocket and bought out a ring. He got on his knees and purposed. We're now getting married in August, we also have a baby girl on the way.

So just proves that, if you want something enough and be patient, it'll come! :).

(I crushed on him all through my high school years until now)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010):

Hey I have a crush on my teacher. I look forward to every lesson i have with him, i even take different routes to class rooms so i get to see him. the problem is he starts the conversations with me about nothing, so i feel like i should talk to him too. i'm in a small class and most of the lesson i spend talking to and messing around with him. I have had a crush on him before but then i got over him but now i have a crush on him again. I dont want to tell any of my friends because they will probably tell him. Once i looked at him and he smiled and i couldnt help but smile back. At parents evening he spoke to me more than my mum and when he is helping me with my work he is so cloe to me and i love it. the benefit is that i try hard to impress him with my work and it seems to be paying off going from a grade D to A*

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010):

I fell in love with a teacher too. I was seventeen and he was 23. We just had a connection. I know with my whole heart that he liked me (I'm 100% sure of that.); but nothing happened between us. I won't tell the whole story because if for some reason he stumbles into this site and finds this post he'd know exactly who I am and I'd die of embarrassment, lol. I'm still crazy about him even though I force myself not to visit him. I still have so much feelings for him.

It's very hard; I think about him every single day. He has no idea. I had to let go. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life and it still is. And a thing that makes it so much harder is; I feel so alone in this situation. I hate hiding it all.

I miss you. I'll always have a place for you in my heart, even if I get married to an amazing man whom I love with all my heart, mind and soul, and have kids and settle down. You'd still be a memory as the man my seventeen-year-old self fell so madly in love with.

--'Chelsea'

PS - another reason I won't tell the whole story is because this isn't just my story--it's OUR story. This story also belongs to him, so if I just reveal it all, I'd be ruining his privacy.

PPS - Even though I may sound miserable... it's just a part of me. I have amazing family and friends. I do well in university. I laugh and have fun. I don't wanna kill myself or anything. He's just like a mole on my skin--a tiny part of me. My life is GOOD. 3

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2010):

I, too, have feelings for one of my teachers. I'm 18 and he's almost 30. He's married with no kids...yet. We don't talk everyday but when we do, we click so much. Our eye contact in class is amazing. I feel like an electric shock runs right through me when he meets my gaze and holds it. Even when I'm not looking at him, I may be taking notes and look up, he's staring at me. I love his personality, his morals, the way he views life. My heart's beating so fast right now. I can hear it punding in my ears just talking/thinking about him. He's married to someone he loves and I'm not about to jeopardize that. But I feel like there's something between us. It may not be too evident but I can sure as hell feel it. My advice to you is, like many people here have told you, not to hurt him. Try and get over him, not necessarily as fast as you can. It may hurt worse to stop cold turkey. Just be really good friends with him. Tell him how you feel if you think that'll help but try not to make it sound like you want him to do anything about it. Just be honest and see how things go.

I hope everything works out and that you nor him get him hurt.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010):

I'm 15 and I'm also in love with my teacher. I know I shouldn't do but I just keep on dreaming about him and everytime I see him I go all nervous but I've started to notice that he watches me in class but I try not to look up as it's embarassing.

I think the only reason why I find it so hard to let go is because I've never loved someone so much before and I've only had one boyfriend before. I'm not going to give up but if someone else I like asks me out then I will and I'm just hoping I will be free once more.

I hope it all works out for you

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010):

Hi,

I know it's hard, but if you really love him, the last thing you want to do is hurt him, right?

If you start a romantic relationship with him, he'll be hurt, and very badly, too. He might lose his marriage. He might lose his job. His reputation may be scarred so badly that he won't be able to find another job. His friends might insult him, call him "perveted" for falling for a student. There's so much harm that can come to him if you two start a romantic relationship.

Just keep that in mind when you're around him. You can still enjoy his company, just be careful.

If you really love someone, you'll let him go.

Best of luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010):

Honey, first of all I'm going to tell you not what you want to hear, but the truth (or at least as close as I can get without seeing with my own eyes.) If you want to hear you'll have a happy fairytale ending (an outright lie) then stop reading. Now.

Ok, this first part is common sense - he probably doesn't mean to flirt with you. It might seem like it and sometimes be unthinkable that he isn't, but maybe because you like him so much you're looking at him through rose tinted glasses. Remember he won't be looking out for the same things in a relationship as you. Does he have kids? Does he want kids? Would he want kids with YOU? Ask yourself that honestly, think about what that would involve for both of you.

Second part is using my logic - He's in a loving relationship with his wife. If he would be willing to cheat on, or leave his wife for a 16 year old girl, then he'd be a scumbag. Not the kind of person you'd want to date at all. Don't date cheating guys, young or older, because they WILL do it to you first. Find someone who loves you and will stay true... or at least be honest with you.

If he's being specially nice to you it may be because he's figured out you have a crush on him. It doesn't matter how discreet you are, he's got a wife, he's been through the dating thing before, he'll have figured it out. This puts him in a very awkward situation. He probably doesn't want to hurt your feelings without encouraging you to think he likes you back.

This last part is from a professional point of view. If he did pursue a relationship with you and got caught, he would lose his career as a teacher. This would put his family at risk too, if they rely on his income.

You'll find a guy who loves you back. I promise.

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A female reader, anonymous607 United Kingdom +, writes (31 March 2010):

ok, i am in exacly the same position as you. I am 13 and my teacher is 26, that is 13years difference. I love the way he makes me feel and i guess that is the same with you. i have tried not to love him but it is so hard. Only 1 friend knows and that is good as i can talk to her about my feelings towards him. i suggest that to you to, let minimum people know as then you have someone to talk to. also try to forget him by liking someone else. i have tried doing this and i know it is hard, but it might take your mid off him for a while so you can focus on school work!! hope this helps.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010):

I love my teacher to but there is a 28 year difference

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010):

Hi, apparently it's normal to like a teacher, because they are great to try your feelings out on, no I don't really beleive that. I really love my teacher, i'm nearly 15 and he's 37, and he's married with kids, and he loves them all so much, he isn't really that good looking, and all my friends think I'm mad.

I had him for loads of lessons last year, and was always really nice to me, he has the best personailty ever, he's always smiling and joking, and one time I didn't know whether to do History gcse (which he teaches) and he gave me loads of support and was like "look at you, you're smart, you're clever what you worrying about?" I was really flattered by him, and was bright red.

But this year he isn't my teacher, and that really annoys me, but I decided that I couldn't just forget about him, because I care about him so much so i joined his club at lunch. It's only for half an hour, but I love it, and it gives me chance to see him and talk to him.

I thought he would forget me this year, sice he hardly sees me, but he always asks me how I am and talks about the club. Sometimes when he talks to me he loses him trail of words and just looks at me and I've had to finish his sentece for him, or he starts to get his words mixed up. i know it's just in my head, and he would never like me, but I can't help thinking that. He's always nice to me, even if he's in a bad mood and cross with other people.

I have a great relationship with him, still a student teacher relationship, but we're more like friends and he's really easy to talk to, and if I had a problem I would definatley speak to him

My advice is if you feel that you can tell him how you feel, then do, I might tell him one day, but I think it's up to the teacher, and it's not disgusting, and yes it's wrong but I know when you're in love it feels as though that doesn't matter.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010):

Hey, i'm also in love with my teacher, yes love everyone thinks no way you dont know what love is! I'm 15 and he's around 33 he's been teaching me thats past 3 years now and since the day i saw him until now i get this feeling like butterflies in my tummy, it hurts but it feels like an exciting pain in my tummy. I know this sounds freaky but i have a lot of dreams about him too. For a while now he keeps looking at me and commenting my work (good comments) and only me not the other 20 in the class. He is married with 2 kids one is in the same school as me and the same age, i know nothings going to happen but that feeling when i see or hear him is not going away!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010):

Hey, i'm also in love with my teacher, yes love everyone thinks no way you dont know what love is! I'm 15 and he's around 33 he's been teaching me thats past 3 years now and since the day i saw him until now i get this feeling like butterflies in my tummy, it hurts but it feels like an exciting pain in my tummy. I know this sounds freaky but i have a lot of dreams about him too. For a while now he keeps looking at me and commenting my work (good comments) and only me not the other 20 in the class. He is married with 2 kids one is in the same school as me and the same age, i know nothings going to happen but that feeling when i see or hear him is not going away!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2010):

Don't let your feelings just leave and move on, I'm fifteen years old and my history teacher is like 43 . I go through the same things every day and even though its so wrong you want to beleive its ok. Trust me its not, but if you're like me just let it keep it happening. In my case hes the reason I even go to school . So don't give up!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010):

Okay. My one complaint is that I'm sick of hearing "it's such a big age difference!" Age, age, age. Is it all that matters? No, I don't mean that. Age is a HUGE factor. I'm just trying to make myself feel better because there is a 49 year age difference between me and the teacher that I... (should I say it?) love?... Terribly creepy that is, right? I emotionally beat myself up for it everyday. Trust me. I'm an early teenager and he's nearly a senior. Oh, God. It feels so weird saying that... Senior...

Anyway, I don't fall easily into "crushing mode" and I've only had a few crushes in my life, so when I do like someone, I like them a LOT. Yet I've still never felt this strongly towards anyone. It's amazingly astounding how much of a difference there is in this feeling!

Back to the point. DO NOT act on your feelings. DO NOT assume he is flirting. Even if he is. Leave the romance between you and him, in your fantasies. No matter how hard this is, it's for the absolute best.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2010):

ok hey confussed feelings. Im 15 and went through the same thing at 13. dont get caught up in it because its a waist of time anything you think he feels you are imagining. I now hate wut do ya call it? X-teacher love? Any way i hate him now and I don't really know why. You will get over it. I found out that i "loved" him more than other teachers because we kinda had the same personality and i respected him more. Im not saying u cant love ur teacher, u can but all teachers i love now are completly out of respect and because of what they do.If u don't want to end up hating him dont love anymore than u should.

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A female reader, confusedfeelings United Kingdom +, writes (2 February 2010):

yeah i am 13 and my teacher is 32 he is gorgeous and loads of people think he is fit but i really love him as a person but there is another problem he is married and it only happened recently i was devastated its hard because i know we will never be together and he dosnt even teach me anymore so every time i see him he looks at my with these gorgeous eyes like he is thinking about me i really need to know what hes thinking i look back and there is this arkward moment where we stare and its happened so many times now i try to avoid him but yeah he is like a drug he lifts my mood when ever i see him, i know he dosnt flirt he is to much of a good person to do this but we went on this school trip and we were partners in like everything and he kept looking at me and smiling for that holiday it was like he wasnt a teacher and i forgot then when i got home i was in agony i had lost are moments together and from then i am thinking about him all the time its a19 years difference but my addvice to u is just act like u hardly like him or even know him just like he is like somekind of character from a movie and its an act and you wont ever be with him and maybe it could work in getting u over him xxxxxx good luck

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A female reader, ScienceGirl123 United States +, writes (27 December 2009):

Hey! I am also 16 and my teacher is about the same age as yours. My teacher is married with two kids.(maybe even a bit older). During class he always teases me in such a manner that I began to think he was flirting with me! However, I realized that he is nothing more than a charming and popular teacher.

At first I had a huge crush on him, I still do. He is just perfect. But then I figured it's not love, it's just admiration.

Remember your teacher is married, he loves his wife very much, and she means everything to him. He does like you too, however, but only as a student! If you start a relation with him and ruin his family, he will hate you forever! Just keep up the good work in his class and at least he will like you as a student, that's all I can say. Your teacher is taken, he belongs to his wife!

As you grow older, eventually you'll find the perfect guy that belongs to only you. Good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009):

Hey!

Well.. To help you a little bit. I was in the same situation a couple months ago. I had a 'date' with that teatcher, we kissed...

But we both know this is playing with the devil. I couldn't tell any of my friends about this. So does he, he could lose his job.

So, we hang out sometimes and drink cups of tea, but that's it.

So why don't you try to build a good friendschip and find out his good and bad behaviour.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009):

Hey!

Well.. To help you a little bit. I was in the same situation a couple months ago. I had a 'date' with that teatcher, we kissed...

But we both know this is playing with the devil. I couldn't tell any of my friends about this. So does he, he could lose his job.

So, we hang out sometimes and drink cups of tea, but that's it.

So why don't you try to build a good friendschip and find out his good and bad behaviour.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009):

I feel exactly the same way about my teacher. I love him so much that I can't ever see myself in the next 3 years of high school (and maybe afterwards, too) falling out of love with him. This is the first time I have ever been in love, and the feeling is nothing I can describe.

He and I also have a 28 year age difference. I am 15 and he is 43. I met him on my first day of high school, and I just remember thinking, "Wow. That man is absolutely incredible". I knew from that moment that I was at the complete point of no return, and that trying to stop myself from falling in love with him was going to be useless.

It's been 3 months (I am a freshman), and my feelings have not changed, though I am in different classes now. I see him around school a couple times a day, and we say "hi" and smile at each other (in class we would do the same flirting/staring thing you described doing with your teacher).

But it's never enough. My heart aches so much that I can't be with him, or at least see him more. I miss him so much.

I empathize with you. When you fall so deeply in love with someone so unattainable, it feels useless. I always feel so empty, like "What is the point? We can never be together, so why become so close to him only to find out he doesn't care?"

It's gotten to the point where he is like a drug to me. If he smiles, I feel dizzily happy. When he speaks, I feel completely euphoric. But when he frowns, or doesn't even glance, it's like the world comes crashing down, and I feel hopeless. I guess you could say I am beyond obsession.

I wish I could give you some useful advice. I wish I could tell you to do something. But here are the only options I can think of:

1) Keep loving him, and try to get close enough so that you too can have a real romantic relationship. - This can't happen because of the wife and the other risks. But who knows...? I know it sounds bad ( really bad ), but I have always hoped for that with my teacher.

2) Try to distract yourself with another guy. This actually may work. Other guys who have flirted with me or asked me out I have ignored, but I realize that maybe investing your heart in someone else could take some of the intensity out of your love for him.

3) Remove yourself from him completely. A clean break. This is by far the most painful, but if you are completely masochistic, give it a shot.

4) Let it pass. This is my plan, because I don't know what else to do. It may be a fact that you love him, but it won't last forever. It's hard to say, but no matter how strongly you feel now, it won't stay that way.

So that's all I have. I am stuck in the same situation as you, but writing this is helping me to think of the options for both of us. It's the most painful and self-destructive thing ever to fall in love with a teacher, but how can we stop?

I hope all goes well. Don't cause yourself too much pain. It will be okay,

I promise.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2009):

No thats not called flirting. He probably moved away from his wife because he felt awkward with you staring at him. Yo get a life girl and hang out with people your own age not people old enough to be your dad. and chill wiht the whole picture thing he drew. he was probably really bored thats why he drew you as a sunflower. or maybe he jst drew a flower (because its the easist thing to draw )then he just aded a face to it and say it was you. && maybe he just likes you as a student like my teacher he does stuff like that but no way is he flirting with me NO WAY. i would even se why. he just enjoys the company of his students maybe, maybe your the only one who even talks to him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2009):

ERMMM YOU ARE A MINOR

plus teacher-student stuff is SOOOOO

UN ETHICAL D:!

I know it's sad- I think I have had a crush on a teacher before but they are always like 40ish-50ish it's such a shame really. D:~

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009):

I know what you mean. I myself fell for the 40-year-old Librarian, while I am 18. But, as opposed to most of the people posting here, I do not stutter around him, nor do I blush and become nervous. Instead, I feel calmer when he is around, I feel as though I can unwind, relax. Also, I become more eloquent when he is around and as I was taking my TOEFL (my first language isn't English), I pictured him standing behind me as I did the speaking part. This way, I managed to speak clearly, using sophisticated words. He has also inspired me to write poetry. I have written over twenty poems for him, here is one that I am sure you can relate to:

Damn these Years

Damn the time, damn these years,

they have gone, they're in the past

never to come back, in any form

Experience remains, long rows of memories,

strung together by your brilliant mind;

standing between us as silent golems

This time that you were given,

it doesn't coincide with mine, I'm sorry

your years started long before

Collector of moments, you are;

impossible to catch up to you

time has not been kind to us

Damn no one and nothing but the time,

because- have you ever noticed?

It's always years keeping us apart

and this one:

Forbidden Fruit

In a garden, plants everywhere to see,

forbidden fruit gleams on a tree

The fruit, so tempting in its glow,

robs me of my self-control

I have the choice that once was Eve's

to submit to temptation or to leave

Eternal damnation awaits me if I eat

easy life if I decline to do the deed

I choose temptation, and take a bite

and another, just to spite

The risk too high, my luck too brittle

am now damned and not too little

Had I chosen the opposite instead

I could have kept the life I led

Would, however, have kept on yearning for

the man I'm liking more and more

--

I hope you can relate to them! I had a plan of confessing on graduation night, but... I think I will merely tell him that I loved him at some point and then see how he reacts. As in: "I fancied you in 11th grade and I just want you to know that you were an incredibly important person for me." I do want him in a more than... appropriate fashion, and even though he is single and has no kids and treats me very well, I still think the best thing is to take the good things from the crush, not the bad things. As in: When he makes you feel good about yourself and he inspires you and builds you up- embrace it, be glad you have it. But when you feel jealous, when you hurt over him kissing someone else, when you feel depressed because you aren't with him... that's not healthy and it won't make you feel good at any point. So simply take the good things and see how things turn out!

Good luck to you all!

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A female reader, stargirlxx United Kingdom +, writes (9 November 2009):

i am 15, almost 16 and my teacher just turned 34. i see him everyday and i cant put into words the way he makes me feel. however he changes and its hard to keep up with what mood he's in, when hes not teaching me, he flirts with me like theres no tomorrow, however when we're in a lesson he acts like he couldnt care if i was there or not and it hurts. he flirts with me and i flirt back. he knows i like him and atm thats all it is a crush but i can feel myself falling for him more and more. i think about him as soon as i go to sleep and as soon as i go to bed. i need him and when i leave high school, i dont know what ill do without him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009):

Hey..

well that's quite a story you have there.. almost like a movie. :)

I normally support this kinda stuff.

I think it's cute and it makes a place like school a more fun place to be

but. I think.. that it could only be approved if. he was single

I mean. He has a wife.. maybe even kids then.. he's deceiving ppl that count on him and trust him for the sake of what?. I think that at times like these we can't be selfish.. you shouldn't only think about your pain.. but the pain his family could get when something would happen between you two.

that's just 1 reason shortly for you to stop

as for the second

the age gap.. I normally have no stuff against this too.. what does it matter as long as 2 ppl love eachother..

but.. when you kinda have a too big age difference.. like when you're still young he will be very old.. don't just think about now.. think of later too.. how it would be..

Normally if he were a younger and single guy.. why not. because he isn't going to stay your teacher forever. graduation, right ^^

that makes you 2 not a student and teacher but a man and a woman

so would you go with a man that is 28 years older is married ( and maybe has kids )..???

you're still 16.. don't think that it will be the end of the world

I'm sure you'll meet a better person that suits you better then this guy

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009):

Hey..

well that's quite a story you have there.. almost like a movie. :)

I normally support this kinda stuff.

I think it's cute and it makes a place like school a more fun place to be

but. I think.. that it could only be approved if. he was single

I mean. He has a wife.. maybe even kids then.. he's deceiving ppl that count on him and trust him for the sake of what?. I think that at times like these we can't be selfish.. you shouldn't only think about your pain.. but the pain his family could get when something would happen between you two.

that's just 1 reason shortly for you to stop

as for the second

the age gap.. I normally have no stuff against this too.. what does it matter as long as 2 ppl love eachother..

but.. when you kinda have a too big age difference.. like when you're still young he will be very old.. don't just think about now.. think of later too.. how it would be..

Normally if he were a younger and single guy.. why not. because he isn't going to stay your teacher forever. graduation, right ^^

that makes you 2 not a student and teacher but a man and a woman

so would you go with a man that is 28 years older is married ( and maybe has kids )..???

you're still 16.. don't think that it will be the end of the world

I'm sure you'll meet a better person that suits you better then this guy

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009):

You have a crush on him it will disappear as you get older,this natural and part of life for you. But he she quit egging you on,he should get help.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009):

I'm a teacher in Europe and and I want to give you the teacher's point of view. I'm 37 and I teach History to students from 12 up to 19 years old.

The situations you are in are very common, as you can see, and it's quite obvious that some of teachers you all mentioned have behaved in was they shouldn't, because they encouraged you and that's wrong, of course. First of all, if a teacher had an affair with a student, the teacher could loose his/her job and the married ones could put their family situation at risk; secondly, if the student is underaged, the teacher could go to prison, because in many countries we are talking about something that is considered to be a crime. When you look at the situation like this, do you really think any teacher would get involved with a student? No, of course, there is too much at risk.

I can tell you that is true that teachers become attracted to some students, specially older ones (a teacher attracted to a 13 year old is a perverted person, a paedophyle). Some students are clever, nice, willing to get closer, beautiful and have many qualities, one of which is their youth, the hope and enthusiasm that in probably only teenagers have, and that is attractive to older people, mainly because is something we tend to loose over time. So, students are atracted by maturity and the sense of the teacher being somehow "above" other people; teachers are attracted to the glow and joy of youth. But that DOES NOT mean we are going to get involved.

I have been what I could call in love with a 17 year old student and I was quite sure that he felt the same way. When he became 18 and went away to college we became friends, still feeling the attraction, but I knew that it would be wrong to be something else, and my maturity and sense of responsability won over the temptation that he was to me.

I'm sure your teachers fell the same way I do, even when they are truely attracted to tyou. Some of the things you mentioned as "proofs" of their attraction, I'm affraid I have to disapoint you by saying that may be simple concern over your well-being, or attempts to make you improve yourselves.

I hope my words helped any of you and here's a word of advise: never tell the teacer, NEVER. He/she will probably know anyway (we become quite good at spoting the signs...) and he/she won't love you back the way you want.

I can promise you it will be washed away by time. Just wait and see...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009):

I am in love with my teacher too. I am 15 and he is 50.. I know everyone thinks this is bad.. but i dissagree 100% I think age is just a number and doesn't mean anything.. although he is married and has children I just cant keep my mind off of him.. I was depressed most of last year when I was in his class and he just kept on talking to me and made me feel better about myself, he stopped my depression :) i went and saw him everyday in the morning or after school for extra help in math just to see him and he flirted with me and got red when we looked into eachothers eyes, he always talked about his wife like he didn't like her.. which wasn't good but it seemed to make me happy.. :/

One time I walked into class after going to the washroom and he stopped the lesson and anounsed to the whole room that he lost track of what he was going to say because a beautiful lady just walked in and I laughed and sat back down.. I turned red, but thankfully no one could tell because the light was off.. he always told me that I has beautiful eyes and he complimented me daily..

I know this is stupid but one time I was having a bad day so he walked up to me and asked me if I wanted a hug and a kiss I was so dumbfounded about what he said and i got sooo red .. he walked to his desk and came back a few seconds later with hugs and kisses chocolates.. haha.. I didn't eat the chocolate, still today the chocolate is still sitting on my dresser... he isn't good looking to other people but his personality is the best and makes me love his looks..

I was in his option class one trimester and he came over to me just to say good job and he showed me all the steps to the activity and was as close as posible.. ahh good day.. but now i am not in his class but thisa is summer so im hoping he still talks to me the same next year :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009):

i cant believe im not the only one..ive always thought i was crazy or something but yeh...im 19 and ive had a female teacher that ive had for about 6 years and i slowly started to like her,im like obsessed,i talk to her everyday even when she's teaching other classes i do anything to go in there even for a second just to see her,i'd walk around the school just so i could see her,i'd do anything so i could talk to her...she was my math tutor as well so she would give me lifts home all the time after school..i walk everywhere looking out for her car...i cant get over her..im going crazy and the worst part is that she just left for a another job so im stuck for a year without her...i dont know what to do....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009):

I know exactly how you feel. I love this teacher so much, I am always thinking about him all the time. I'm 14 and he is about 25. He doesnt teach me but he is the Year Level Co Ordinater and he is now head of middle schooling, I try to be a bit naughty in class so that I'll get sent to him. I never stop thinking about how much I love him, my heart skips a beat whenever I see him around the school. But I think he has a girlfriend, he told me about her on my 2nd day at the school, (about 6 months ago). I don't know whether they are still together or not.

Whenever I walk past him at school he always talks to me or says hi and asks how I am. I was walking through the year 8 area (im in year 9 so and we arent allowed there) one day upset about something and he could see that and he asked what are you doing here and i replied nothing and kept walking I could see the concern on his face, it kinda made me feel better to see that he cared.

It hurts me to think that he has a girlfriend. I am so in love with him I don't know what to do, its just so consuming. I am probably going to change into one of his classes, my friend recently told me that he teaches year 9 ITM, I was so happy to hear that.

Whenever I see him I get butterflies and I feel so happy.

I can see how you feel about this teacher I know exactly what it is like. *sighs*

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009):

I think i feel the same, but it is not love, it is with a female teacher, like i dont imagine myself being with her atall, i just really like her. I find myself going different ways around school just to maybe catch a glimpse of her. I saw her upset the other day and it made me feel so worried, i cant explain it, it was like seeing one of my parents cry. Its confusing i know. Whenever i go out, i am constantly looking out for her in her car or something. I ask others things about her to try and fins out as much as i can. But, i have recently found out that she is not teaching me next year, and i nearly cried, its so hard. I dont know what i am going to do. I think she likes me, but no where near as much as i like her. Its odd, but i definitely dont love her, its not like that. i just want to be close to her as a friend. She is so kind. But i dont know what i am going to do next year without her. I will try anything to get into one of the classes that she is teaching. All of my other friends have her next year and i am so jealous. Its not fair, i like her so much more than they do, although i do think that one of my friends likes her a lot too. I sometimes wait outside her room for no reason and pretend that i am waiting for someone just so that i can see her. Its hard and confusing. I am obsessed. I cant help myself from going to see her. I dont know what to do but am glad that others feel sort of the same way.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009):

Hi,

I have to say that I´m not english so I´m sorry when I´ll take some mistakes.

I´m also in love with my teacher. Instead of some of yours he don´t speak with me at the end of the lesson or so. Because of this it´s really hard, I´m really despaired! And he also has a girlfriend...

I know it´s inpossible and maybe exspecially because of that I feel really bad.

So I can really understand you and I think you also have a lot promise because he flirts with you. But maybe you wouldn´t see him often and he wouldn´t have the possibility to flirt with you, you would have more chance to forget him!

Because it´s really hard to get over someone when you see him nearly every day!

Maybe you have the possibility not to meet him very often?

I wish you good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2009):

Goodness, I thought I was the only person who had special feelings for my teacher. Well, he's not my teacher anymore...

Although, it all began during the middle of the first semester, I was 16 and he was 24 at the time, but he looks very young for his age. I remember telling him on his very first day of school that I thought he was 18, he just chuckled and told me that he got that alot. He wasn't teaching any of my classes, but I still wanted to get close to him. I started talking to him before class started and at the end of the day, always eating with him at lunch, we've many good laughs together, it's fantastic. I've found out that we have very little to almost nothing in common but that doesn't stir my unrequited feelings for him in the least.

The other student's hated him.

He wasn't a very good teacher (it was his first job), teaching just wasn't his thing. The other student's were always mean to him and showed him very little respect (my guess is because the man is white.), when ever I was in the room I would always come to his rescue and take his side when no one else would. He's not physically attractive, but that's not what's important, I think I love him and no one else would ever understand that since I'm just 'a stupid teenager'.

When I had his class the second semester some people who sat at my table always teased me, calling me childish names like 'Teacher's Pet' because I would always help him out in the classroom. I think the man has a hard time hearing, becuase one time several student's had called his name for some help on their math work, (I SUCK at math!!) he would pay them no mind. Sometimes the other student's would yell his name or push him just to get his attention.

All I would have to do is quietly raise my hand or gently speak his name and he would come rushing right over to help me. One time, in the hallway, one person whom I never got along with had called me over, I was reluctant but went over to see what he wanted, he asked me why I hung out with that 'skinny cracker dude' all the time and then with a sly smile, told me that 'I was fucking the teacher." I never spoke to him after that kept clear of that jerk since then.

Although later in the semester, we had an awards ceremony and he was giving out awards. It was the type where the teacher stands at the front and calls up a student then they come in and shake his hand then walk back to their seat. He called my name, I had gotten a couple of 'ooohs' and 'uh-ohs' from the crowd, but ignored them and went up to shake his hand. He gave me a kind smile and shook my hand and when I went back to my seat, I was blushing, several people made note of it and even told me that I was glowing.

At the end of the year he told me that he really appreciated me as a person and was happy that he got to know me. I knew that he was leaving, earlier in the year he told me that teaching just wasn't his thing and that he would be better off doing something that he loved since he couldn't imagine himself doing this for a very long time. I told him that I understood him and after that we hugged each other.

A few days later I called him on the phone and we started talking, it's several weeks into the summer and me and him still keep in touch (in fact, he told me that he wanted to keep in touch with me), but as the weeks went on, it's harder and harder to talk to him, because a part of me want's to tell him how I really feel, but fear that if I do, he'll sever all ties with me...

Anyway, from what you've written, I think he's flirting with you, but could have deeper feelings for you, but since he's married and is your coach it could be difficult for you both to accumulate a romantic relationship so instead he substitutes it for a flirty, friendly one since it would seem more apropriate and also because of the taboo of a relationship of our sorts...Although as my aunt always puts it, "Age is just a number."

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2009):

Ahh, I'm in sort of the same situation as you. I'm in the 10th grade, and i'm completely in love with my english teacher. She's 25, and just completely perfect, for me anyways. I'm also a girl, so that doesn't help much.

and if someone would like to say to me, "it's just a crush" honestly I don't care, because I know it's not and that's good enough for me. It started off that way but got so much worse. Me and her became extremely close, and I can tell her anything. I liked her so much that it made me sick, and i refused to tell anyone until about halfway into the year. It made me do harmful things to myself because i couldn't get the thought of her out of my head, i even attempted suicide at one point! I remember i went about a week with literally no food and I got sick, because It hurt me so bad i couldn't even eat. It made me get insomnia, now I barely sleep. I can't get the thought of her out of my mind. Infatuation? no. crush? most certainly not. Lust? No because i would wake up next to her every morning if i could, without ever doing anything sexual. I do have sexual desires but they are not as strong as my actual feelings. Not even close.

It kills me to know it can't happen. But like an idiot, I continue and can't give up. Letting go would be too hard, I'll always love her. I can't describe the feeling I get when i'm around her, it's way too strong to put it into words. She's the only person, who has ever, made me happy. Really happy. And I never want her to be gone.

Honestly, I do believe she feels the same way. Just the way she looks at me, really looks at me. I know there's something there. She always finds ways to make skin contact. And acts flirty and happy with me[Oh by the way she's bi] I confide in her and she confides in me. She knows everything, she even knows I like her thanks to this long note I gave to her. The councilor actually told me she knows I like her. I made it way too obvious for my own good. When i found out she told the councilor, i refused to look at her, to eat, sleep, for days. I tore myself apart. I didn't want to have to look at her and feel the way I did cause it really screwed me up, even more. But I got up enough courage to say "hey, if you think i'm mad at you, that's not it" and she was happy i told her because she was unsure. When I refused to be around her or look at her, she would just stare at me the whole time, and purposely get closer to me and try talking, but i couldn't speak. Everyone grew very worried about me, especially her. And after I got over my refusal of all that, she treated me way better than ever. And I still believe, there has to be something, there has to be.

If you saw the way she treats me, you'd have to.

Two of my friends have agreed, and really do think she likes me.

and people point out how she treats me differently all the time.

All I know i can get out of her is hugs, [she gave me the longest tightest one ever on the last day of school, and i was the last student to talk to her and we chatted for a bit]

I could only wish for more, however, I wouldn't risk anything, I love her too much. But I would definitely wait for her, until it's legal.

I would give anything to spend the rest of my life with her.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2009):

Im suprised how many people feel this way.

Granted this question was posted forever ago :l. I wouldn’t say im in love with my teacher but I do like her so much. I want her to know I like her so badly but I would never want to put her career in danger. If I could I would wait until I was out of high school. I honestly thought I would feel this way about anyone anytime soon. Especially a teacher. We are ten years apart, and shes a girl like me, and well lets face it girls mature faster then guys ha, so I don’t find it that bad but still. It sucks. By the time im 18 they will be 28 and ready to settle down. I think about her all the time. And I try to get over it but for some reason I have hope that this feeling will pay off and sometime in the future something will happen. Everything happens for a reason, and I want to know my reason for liking her. She reminds me so much of myself and who I want to be and she’s adorable. If she was working any other job no one would really care. And I would feel better about telling her. I guess I will just have to wait and see what time brings.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009):

hello.... you know what, im in a similar situation, although the teacher im attracted to doesnt give me nearly the same kind of attention as your does, and he's single, sans kids.

Reading the responses to this made me realize how easy it is to let dreams interfere with the reality of the situation.

I think that if he's married with children you shouldnt be the 'other woman' or whatever. If anything, wait two more years so he doesnt lose his job and you dont ruin his life any further. Then try telling him how you feel.

If you tell him how you feel now and its not reciprocated you'll go the next to years of school humiliated every time you see him.

Wait until you turn 18, then suggest your feelings.

Take no if no is his answer.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009):

I feel exactly the same way. I know what you are going through and it's so hard!!!! In my situation, i know that i will never see him again because i graduated. Okay, i could see him when i go back to my school, but it won't be like before, when we used to talk so much. I totally understand how it makes you feel, knowing that he kinda loves you, but haves a wife. I realised that when we are so in love, everything the person does makes you feel like he wants you. It's really tricky. In a lot of situations, you just imagine things that are actually nothing for him. It's totally normal to fall in love with our teachers...They are some sort of models for us...we admire them and we spend so much time with them. These men loves their students...but not in the way we love them. When they have a wife and children, it's pretty impossible. Why would he give up a life he has built to go with someone that is still a kid to his eyes? This is the way i see it, even through i'm still totally in love with him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009):

Oh gosh, this situation is just awkward. I'm in love with my teacher since last year...I don't know how this happend, there was just a time when I stopped fighting against my feelings. I'm 18 and he is pushing 60 already but he seems very young, though. I don't know if it really is love what I feel because this is so strange and no one understands me on this case. We got closer by the time, started to be some kind of friends and enjoyed being together and talking about any kind of stuff. I knew, he was married and that he is very happy with his wife but there were so many situations when I thought "hey, he might be into you, too". I knew, I had to do something. There was a choice to make:

1. Trying to get away from

or

2. Telling him what I feel

At first I really tried to get away from him, it was not easy and he didn't understand why I didn't talk to him anymore, so I said that there were going some thing through my head and that it might be better to keep distance for a while. He was quite confused but he said, it was okay for him and that I can start talking to him again when "it's over".

Well, all this was horrible for me, so at one time (when I was a little bit tipsy) I was writing a letter to him in which I somehow told him that I want more. He didn't reply.

I didn't hear from him about two months but he somehow saw that I hated the situation, so on one day after school he went to me and he told me that he actually doesn't want to talk about it but that we can do it. We talked and somehow this wonderful relationship between us is broken now, even though we seperated in a quite positive way.

So, I don't know if it helps you but I can tell you that after I told him, I was going through a hard time but this feeling of "does he want me or doesn't he want me" is clear now. It broke a friendship and it broke my heart but somehow you have to step out of the world of dreams and imaginations when there is no future. You may say that you are seeing everything clearly and that you are living in reality but just figure out what would happen if he leaves his wife for you and you never know how you see those things in a couple of years. I for one can say that it really took me a lot of thinking before I told him what I feel. And I still can say that he's a guy I would try to spend my whole life with if he would want to but I also see that he is happy with his wife and that this is the only thing that counts: He is happy - and as long as he is happy I will not do anything concering him what only makes me happy.

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A female reader, millwall girl United Kingdom +, writes (4 July 2009):

millwall girl agony auntHi people ...

i do know what you all are feeling. There is a teacher at my school which i like. but im starting 2 learn that he is not the man of my dreams, he just a good looking teacher at my school.

i believe in fate and i do think when he r born r life is maped out 4 us. i think im going to make thing special happen a my life and my go off with my tesacher is not going 2 make that come true.

Go 4 your dreams and u will then meet your dream man.

i now know how the man 4 me is and i am going to do very i can 2 get them (and he is not my teacher).

way road ahead do not look easy but i am going to give it my all and should too.

:)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009):

i think its perfectly natural, most girls have an atraction to older men. but i think theres no point because it seems like hes just gonna keep doing this. its your own choice but i think you should think about it logicly.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009):

I have the exact same problem, I am totally in love with my teacher, he always smiles at me, we talk after lesson, I can talk to him better than anyone else. We were talking about relationships in lesson once and he was saying how men like to 'protect' their girlfriends and he was looking straight at me. I went bright red, and my friend asked me what was the matter so i just said I felt ill. If I feel upset he keeps me behind after lesson to chat to me. He is always really close when he helps me and when he sees me he always kinda smiles to himself and goes a bit red. Though he has kids and a girlfriend, he never wants to talk about them.He never askes anyone in the class how was there weekend etc, but always asks me I feel so in love, Im dying!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009):

I have the same problem, although it's more tricky in my case I think. I'm male and actualy I'm not gay, I at least don't really feel love for other boys or men , but I really love a teacher in my school who is also male. But I should better start at the beginning. He has been my Teacher in the 5th and 6th class (when I was 11/12) (I am 15 now) and I liked him very much that time, he was my favorite teacher, but it wasn't really something you could call love yet that time. I don't know exactly when this thing changed, but I'd say I know that I really love that man since some more time than a year. He is really a great and wonderful guy and I'm sure you would like him too if you knew him, although if lots of pupils in my school doesn't, don't ask me why. They even call him often gay, and I would be of course very happy with that, but I don't really believe the mean stuff the others say about him and i often devense him and say that I think that he is "cool" (which is of course not a good enough word for his perfectlyness in my opinion). And I think he loves me too. At least he is much more friendly to me than to the others. For example, every time we meet somewehere in the school, he always smiles to me whith his "I can get everything I want whith this smile"-smile which I really like and greets me whith his wonderful voice. And I sometimes can see him earlier than he can see me and he never does so to anyone else. He also greets me somtimes from a distance of around 10-15 metres, and he really does'nt do so to anyone else.

And one day, when our teacher was ill, he teached us and told us to write an article for an imaginanary magazine about anything we liked. I didn't know what to write about, so I startet late and had'nt finished yet when he choose me to read my text out to the class. I was afraid that he could may be angry whith me and I had some mistakes in it, it was really not the best text I ever wrote, but at the end he said often how good it was and what a nice context it had ect. and than he sent me his wonderful smile again, and after the texts of some other pupils in my class (which were better than mine in my eyes) he was not that ?effusive? than after my text.

I always have to wait for my bus a long time and the bus-stop is next to the teacher's carpark, so I watch them and I especialy wait for him, to see him at least from some distance, but when he arrives, I start to feel nervous and I feel guilty for watching him and I don't know where to look, and don't have that "problem" with other teachers.

But there was also one day when I felt my heart breaking when I saw him, hand in hand with his wife and his daughter (he has 2 children I think, but I don't know. But I took a look into the phone-number book, and there his name is a seperate entry from her name. A strange thing when you are married, isn't it? So, it is may true that he is gay... ? What would you say? Please help me, because I just can't talk to anyone else about that.

P.S.: English is'nt my native language, so a big SORRY for any mistakes, okay?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009):

Well i cant really say much coz im totally and completely in love with my teacher hes great alot of people like him but i dont think they like him as much as i do problem is i think he knows i like him which really scares me because i really dont know what to do now. so as i were saying bout your story he prbably didnt kiss his wife the second time because you were there and because you are his student, would you want him to go to jail and loose his job and family im not saying your not worth losing that much but woulnt you rather seeing him everyday in school than never seeing him again.

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A female reader, TeacherCrazy United States +, writes (19 June 2009):

Wow. I know exactly how you feel. Except I feel this way about 2 of my teachers... Theyre both insanely perfect and i cant get enough of them! But theyre always sending mixed signals and its so confusing! One minute theyre,what seems like, flirting with me, and the next theyre on the phone with their wife or talking to one of their kids... It's so confusing and I know its wrong but I cant help loving them!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2009):

Like most people who have posted on here, I know EXACTLY how you feel.

He is around 30 and his 'partner' recently gave birth to their first child. I feel shattered but I'm still very, very happy for them.

This isn't the first time I have felt this way about a teacher. But I'm happy to say that the first one turned out great! We don't speak as much and I don't feel the same way anymore but we are still fantastic friends and I can ask for nothing more.

I want the same to happen with this teacher. He is everything I want in a guy. I want to find someone just like him: smart, funny, respectful, caring, honest, trustworthy.

I think about him all the time, about how wonderful and kind and generous he is.

He gives me his full attention, he listens to me and supports and cares about me, he smiles at me and our eyes seem to look deep insdie one another. We just seem to understand each other.

I don't think he likes me in that way and that's ok because he has a partner and now a child and I understand that nothing can ever happen between us.

But I would love us to still be friends after school because I think he is an absolutely amazing person.

He is always there for me when I need him. He says his door is always open if I need to chat and that he's there to comfort me. I really appreciate him, and he respects me for who I am.

I feel bad about feeling this way for him. I know that it is inappropriate but I can't help it.

Other teachers have picked up on it I think because I ALWAYS hang out with him and talk to him but he seems ok with it. Well at least he hasn't said anything.

I know the boundaries of the teacher-student relationship and as much as I would love to cross them, I know I can't.

And even if he was willing to cross them with me, I don't know if I would because his 'partner' is an absolutely amazing, kind woman and I wouldn't want to hurt her or their child. They seem like a fantastic couple and family.

I think these crushes are just a part of life. I have spent the last year denying that I feel his way but I can't do it anymore. It hurts me to be in love with him and I hope it goes away so we can enjoy a healthy friendship which might even last forever. I feel like we're on the same page.

I have spoken to my friends about it and I have labelled it as more as an admiration of him and his personality. I use him as a role model for the man I want to be with when I'm older.

He is there for me when I need him for emotional support and that's as far as it will ever go.

I also think one of my friends might have a crush on him though she strongly denies it but she is always different around him and dreams about him and gets jealous when I spend time with him.

He seems not to mind spending time with me and offers me advice and tells me about his life.

Other students seem to like him too but not to the same extent as me. I get jealous when other people spend lots of time around him, which I know is stupid.

I try so hard to do well in his class and I do most of the time. But I can't seem to concentrate and answer questions in his class. Sometimes I do but I can't seem to think in his class. I make an effort to do extra work and stay on top of the rest of my class. I produce work of an extremely high standard and he acknowledges that which makes me feel great.

I try to take an interest in the things that he likes but not everything because I know how important it is to be myself. He seems to take an interest in things that i like to.

It feels so good to finally get it off my chest and admit that I feel this way!

Anyway, I just hope we can be friends.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009):

Same here....I'm in love with my math teacher but he's 36 and I'm 13. I'm head over heels for him..He looks at my differently and everything he says to our class seems like he's saying to me personally. Like we had a test and a kid asked "What if our answer on the test is a really close estimate to the answer, could we get it correct?" And he said "Depends on how much I like you" I was pretty shocked he looked at me too. But he hardly knows me. He doesn't even know how to correctly pronounce my name. I've been listening to music like Love Story by Taylor Swift because it's what I feel for him. But it's not like he's gonna be mine anyways. He's not married, but still. I'm stumped..if I tell my Best Friend this she'll think I'm wacko. But what else can I do..Is he mine or not I need help?!

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A female reader, thesweetcandybar Viet Nam +, writes (27 April 2009):

I know how you feel, but don't worry. I fell in love with my teacher too. I was in grade 7 (13 years old) and he was 25. He was my Literature teacher.First time I saw him, I thought he just wanted to be our Most wanted teacher. But then I found out that he was really kind and generous. So I started chatting with him. We had a great time. We listened to music together, read books together and watched films together. It was really great. He was my BFF and I loved him. But now he doesn't teach me anymore so we decided to talk to each other every day. You see, you don't have to be his or her girl friend (or boy friend). Just be their friends, that's enough. And remember to be yourself always, OK?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009):

Hey, I know exactly what you're going through.

I've loved two teachers so far. One was so obviously gay that it was just SO wrong. He was kinda "eh" with me, because I was a freshman but he did inspire me to follow a career in Drama, which was what he taught.

The second one, I've only recently found out I liked. He's my U.S History teacher, 33 years old, and married with two adorable kids. I can't stop thinking about him, and I know it's wrong cuz he's married but it doesn't really bother me. I know it's just a crush, and that he's married and it's never happen. Always nice to dream though.

I have him for two classes and we always talk and laugh together. Sometimes, I make a fool of myself in front of him, but atleast it always gets him to smile. Although in class sometimes, I swear he looks me in the eye and just keeps the contact, while he's explaining something and doesn't do that for anyone else. Maybe I'm just seeing things but he's just a really great guy.

Hope things turn out well for you!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009):

well i think you shuld confront him and ask why hes doing this...if he doesnt give you an answer then just 4get about him...trust im in this situation with a boy...i noe it hurts like crazy but its the best advice i can give you...i hope it helps..

-love SmIlEz=]?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009):

And reading the writing of the person who put the lyrics to the chorus of 'iris' on here... I love that song, it reminds me of him too XD

Have you heard 'seventeen forever' by Metro station?

'we're one mistake from being together

but let's not ask why it's not right

you won't be seventeen forever

and we can get away with this tonight'

I find that quite cheering XD

And 'nature's law' by Embrace (Sorry, I'm getting carried away here. I like music XD)

'everyday I fight these feelings

for your sake I will hide the real thing'

'you should never fight your feelings

when your very bones believe it

you should never fight your feelings

you have to follow nature's law'

I think many people could take some advice from that song.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2009):

Yeah...I know exactly how you feel...

Well, I love my teacher too. But, he was my teacher last year, so he is not my teacher anymore. He is 23 and I am 13...only 10 years but still there is an age difference. I know everyone who reads this is going to be like "It is just a crush, stop being stupid" or something like that. But this is DIFFERENT! No one really understands...

Ok, first of all I do not love him for his looks. He has a great personality. My friends (only the ones I have told) think I am crazy for loving him. I don't love just anyone. Actually, he is the only guy I truly do love.

He does stare at me and does likes when I visit him. He is not married and doesn't have a girlfriend. So i guess you can say hes single. LOL. However, I think he has anger issues lol *just kidding* but we have had fights before sort of like a relationship fight. Well i dont know, but we have had fights. Not like blown out fights, just like stupid ones like he thought I "stalked" him hahahahha I probably do annoy him a lot though lol I also probably act like an idiot in front of him and stuff too. haha But, opposites do attract: Serious vs. Funny

But we have had a lot of good times too. We sort of clued eachother in about liking eachother, but it was never for real i guess. I dont really know, but he has gave me clues.

A good inside joke we have is that I always "borrow" his keychain. lol. I painted it with nail polish and stuff. It is actually really funny. I love that keychain.

Well, my solution is for me that is in Senior Year, on the last day of school, I will leave a note on his desk explaining all of this and how I love him. Then we will go from there.

Iris - Goo Goo Dolls (great song: reminds me of him)

"And I dont want the world to see me

Cause I dont think that they'd understand

When everythings made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am"

This is the the chorus of the song. It sort of explains how no one really understands how I love him besides me. Then, even if it doesn't work out...I just want him to know that I love him.

- Krissy R from New York

P.S. I dont think he's getting a girlfriend anytime soon (well thats what my friends say) =D

Who knows he might not even like me like that, but I just want him to know that he is all I think about and I would die for him. I am his secret admierer that he has no clue about, until I give him that note. I have to wait 5 years, but I am willing to wait. And even if he is married or has a girlfriend by then, he still has to know that I have loved him for all these years. I love you!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009):

ok i get what ur all saying..

ok im laura and i loved my teacher

i was in his class last year and i was his top student. he is married and has kids. hes so hot and sexy. everytime i walked past him in the corridor he gave me that sexy smile and i smiled back. The following year i had a new teacher for that subject and i realised then, when i had spent time apart from him, that it wasn't real love at all. You have to see it from other peeoples point of view as well. I have realised how stupid i was spending the past year on focusing on getting this one teacher to like me, i know it will never happen as he is married, has kids and he is a LOT older. I now go out with a boy my age now and i feel really good about it. maybe all you lot should try going out with someone your own age. Imagine what its like for the teachers wives? to know that some student who is way way younger than him, fancies her husband? i mean come on get real, its a silly crush and i have been through this situatuon b4 and now i realise it never felt like a silly crush because it felt like love but now i know it was a silly, stupid crush and i am gonna focus on my school work x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2009):

i have two teachers that i like. i know that it's not love because i really don't want to take it farther than it is now. it's more of a lust i guess although i am pretty good friends with them.

they are both openly flirty with me, whether they are together or apart. i'm 18 and they are in their 30's and 40's.

one of them is more touchy-feely and he kisses me a lot )but not on the mouth). the other is more of a mental teaser.

i just have fun with it now, although i will miss it when i go to uni because i am in the last form this year.

both fortunately and unfortunately, i have found it quite easy to attract and be attracted to guys that are at least a generation or 2 older than me. although nothing gets past the 1st base with them (and that too is rare), i can see that they somehow gravitate towards me.

in the same way, i find it impossible to find boys my own age, as much as i would like to (even though they are so much less mature, charming and engaging, which, i guess, comes from experience).

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A female reader, SinaLovesMark Germany +, writes (3 April 2009):

SinaLovesMark agony aunthey! my name is sina i'm 17, from berlin germany and i have the exact same problem. so i really know how you feel. well, my english teacher is from wales and since he came into the class for the very first time i had a crush on him. well, his crush developed into smth more serious.

i think i really love him. he's perfect. sooo intelligent, smart, good-looking, funny, sweet and he smells GREAT! there are so many other things i can say about him, but to discribe him with one word: PERFECT :D

he's like in his 40's and i know that he's got two kids. they're 9 and 6 but he never said anything about a wife and he doesn't wear a ring. so ahm i sit in the front row (guess why ^^) and sometimes when i think he doesn't look i look up to see what he's doing. almost all the time we manage to look at each other and then look away as fast as possible.

every time i see him when i'm in school he grins at me and says that very sexy "hey" then he holds the door open for me. i can't concentrate when i'm in the same room with him. i always blush so hard and i'm like duh what am i supposed to do again?

then that one time we had to translate smth verbal from the overhead projector and then it was my turn and i had to look right over his head to translate it and instead of looking at the sentence he tuns around and looks at me. i just knew i was blushing again and that was so embarrassing. then the other day we just walk around the school and we talk about our new english interpreting teacher from the usa (i sooo love the usa :D)

and my friend says from now on we just call her ms. america and then we somehow we came to the topic of mr. t (the sexy, cute, funny... teacher) again. and my friend walks through the door and she says mr. wales and i laugh and say mr. world and BAM! there he comes walking down the stairs... duh my friend let go of the door and it hit me in the arm. i was like ow!

but then couldn't stop grinning at him and he smiled back and there was that sexy hey again. so i held the door open for him and he turns around again, smiles and says thanks. i don't know if that all is just my imagination but evertime my friends and i meet him on the stairs or somewhere else he just looks at ME and grins and says hey.

i really don't know what to do and it's ripping my heart apart. i always catch myself watching his lips. they look so soft and i just want to walk up to him and kiss him. help? please?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009):

I know how you feel! I’m 17 and he is 30. At the start I didn’t pay much attention to him, and he didn’t teach me. But last term he came on a school trip with my year. Everything about him made me love him.

To be fair, he's a flirt with older girls in my high school but my friends were convinced I was his favorite. We got on really well, liked all the same movies and music and same sense of humour.

He was so funny and he always looked at me when he made a joke. "Mr X" was very touchy-feely whenever we talked. Just little things like touching my hand or arm.

Sometimes he would single me out in the group and tease me joking. Not that I'm complaining lol. I found myself glancing at him all the time and realised he was looking at me a lot. He wouldn't really smile, just keep the eye contact for 2 or 3seconds.

We were in the cinema one night, he came over and kind of poked/rubbed my leg to get my attention and asked if I wanted a drink. Then just looked into my eyes and smiled. I honestly cannot stop thinking about him but he has no idea that I like him and I don't want to tell him.

He always smiles when he sees me and I say hi and blush... omg I’m obsessed lol sorry if I went off the point there. Although students rarely end up with a teacher after leaving school, it does sometimes happen.

Who knows what'll happen. But since he's married you should just accept it.Enjoy his company and be happy for him :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2009):

don't worry i know exactly how you feel. i think i may be in love with one of my teachers as well. i know how he looks at me and how he talks to me differently than he talks to the other students. i feel like the relationship between us could never work because he's married and i'm pretty sure that student-teacher relationships are illegal.

i can't get my mind off him and how he makes me feel. there's another guy that i used to like but i'm now just completely oblivious to him because of my teacher. i feel guilty for liking him but i can't help it. i thought nobody else felt the same way. i tried explaining it to one of my friends but she didn't get it.

in my opinion you should try to distract yourself with another guy. that's what i'm trying to do. i haven't had much success so far but i live in hope. a relationship between a student and teacher is forbidden, plus since he's older and married the chances of it working are slim. trust me, i know that the truth hurts. i feel like my heart is being torn apart. just try to see the cons in him instead of the pros, just anything to make you stop loving him.

if you can't stop loving him, just try to be the best student possible so that when you leave high school he'll remember you in particular. just be the best you can be.

good luck hun!

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A female reader, 1111111111 United Kingdom +, writes (28 March 2009):

heyyy guys, well i know how you feel. I live in the US and im guessing you are English, and strangley students and teachers get it off more often over here.

well my first teacher love arrived with the new sports coach, he was like 22 and he was single and totally fit. i had the pleasure of taking it as an option so tht was 9 lessons a week with him :D. well we were doing gym, my weak point, but i desperatley needed this grade. so he invited me back for extra practice sesions, and i went happily. turned out he was a brilliant gymnast, anyway, i was learning a tumble you know the rolly flippy thing, and i kept landing on my back, so he wud help me round with his hands on the small of my back, even when i had learned i still fell on my back so he would hold me, then he realised i could do it, and he asked me why i would do that, so i told him the truth thought it was gonna be the biggest mistake of my life, turns out he had a huge crush on me too, so we dated secretley now we are happily together, bear in mind english, we leave highschool when we are 18 so was only 4 year gap, and he was a student teacher :D

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A female reader, 1111111111 United Kingdom +, writes (28 March 2009):

heyyy guys, well i know how you feel. I live in the US and im guessing you are English, and strangley students and teachers get it off more often over here.

well my first teacher love arrived with the new sports coach, he was like 22 and he was single and totally fit. i had the pleasure of taking it as an option so tht was 9 lessons a week with him :D.

well we were doing gym, my weak point, but i desperately needed this grade. so he invited me back for extra practice sessions, and i went happily.

turned out he was a brilliant gymnast, anyway, i was learning a tumble you know the roly flippy thing, and i kept landing on my back, so he wud help me round with his hands on the small of my back, even when i had learned i still fell on my back so he would hold me, then he realised i could do it, and he asked me why i would do that, so i told him the truth thought it was gonna be the biggest mistake of my life, turns out he had a huge crush on me too, so we dated secretly now we are happily together, bear in mind English, we leave high school when we are 18 so was only 4 year gap, and he was a student teacher :D

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A female reader, ilovesyouuu_16 United Kingdom +, writes (27 March 2009):

I have the same problem!!! i also love my teacher and he flirts with me soooo much.....you should wait for a while to check he's still flirting with you and then you should try and go out with him or try and forget him.....its up to you......:)

Good luck whatever you do.....x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2009):

Omg I thought it was just me who fell head over heels for a teacher :)

oh wel its all good :)

so yeahh there is this welsh teacher who i havee fancyd more then once (i admit) and to bee honest I just can not think of him...

hes always there for me and looks out for me, i honestly dont know why i like him :S

hes soo sweet and all that, and i get the feeling he loves me backk (more then a friend), he even lies straight for me when he is talkin to the other teachers :)

but what makes him worthwhile to me, is that no matter wat happens he is always there for me :)

becuz recently another teacher (bitch) told me I am too friendly with him, and need to keep a teacher-student relationship (load of rubbish to be honest). my best mate just said she was jealous because he seems to like me more and spend more time talkin and telling me about his perosnal life etc :)

and so this teacher was telling us we are too close blah blah... and so me and him just see each other behind her back :L

soo I dont know if i really love him or not either. I just dont get why I am soo attracted to him and no matter how hard I try not to, I still think of him and dream of him :)

because he is like 45 and i am 15 it just doesnt make any sense... but its great to see I'm not the only one :)

x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009):

I know how you feel exactly. My teacher last year was the same way. He would do subtle things like that. He left the school last year though, and it was horrible. I was totally heartbroken. He had told me that he was going to miss me the most and that I was the hardest to tell that he was leaving. He has a daughter and her mom but they are not married. I couldn't imagine the pain I would feel if I saw them kiss, I am so sorry about that. I still talk to him though, and in fact just today he said he doesn't miss teaching, but he misses teaching me. I haven't even seen him in almost a year and I still haven't gotten over him.

I'm sorry and I know how you feel!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2009):

Yaaa..

I know how you feel, I actually feel the same. But I JUST KNOW that teacher has nothing with me. The teacher I like prolly doesn't even know I exist. My story is fucking way complicated. This teacher is new to the school, this is her first year. and yeah its a female. Listen, I'm not bi or gay..I swore i was completely straight, as a matter of fact I dont like girls. but this teacher..I don't know what it is but she is gorgeous. like REALLYY gorgeous. She's not my teacher though..she doesn't even teach me. She gets move around, I'm in 8th grade..she was teaching 7th and now she's teaching 6th. I never see her so that really sucks, but when I do, I dont talk to her..I blush and look away (most of the time). I stalk her when I can, sometimes I leave one of my classes earlier to go and walk by her classroom and see her beautiful face. I only see her during lunch and after school. By the way, she teaches after school but its full with young kids..and I wont join that. I just feel like she hates me really..during lunch I always look at her..when I look at her, she lookes at me back and then she notices that I look at her a lot ..so she tries to hide in back of a wall or something. I always had the feeling that she was bisexual or something, and today one of my friends from 7th grade told me that she was. She looks like a lesbian (no offence) . Im straight but she makes me Bi for liking her. She's just fucking hot..I look at her..and its like I've never seen somebody as beautiful as her. I caught her looking at me sometimes and it feels good. but I know nothing will happen so it kinda hurts but still. and it hurts me even more inside because this year Im graduating..I will be in high school next year and she will be in school teaching. I won't be able to see her as much =[ but I'm still coming to the school to visit. I have many teachers and I love them. They're awesome with me, they help me a lot. Really..I told my friends what I feel for her and they think Im going crazy. I consider it just WEIRD but I don't know ..oh well cant wait until monday =] actually no ITS HALF DAY and I won't have lunch.. SO I WONT BE ABLE TO SEE HER..maybe I'll cut a class to see her..or after school I can always try. If she finds out about this website, and reads this...I will be toast lol but she doesn't know who I am HA =] but uhmm..guys your storys are lovely ..I like some of them. I'm going ...bye byee

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2009):

Ughh I totally understand you!

I have a maths teacher to whom I never really paid much attention at the beggining. Then my friends and I all said we thought he was actually really fit. I had never thouht about it but then I realised it was true. He's tall, has amazing intense blue eyes, funny.. Everytime he asks me a question I blush and I can't speak properly. I just can't take my eyes off him and I just stop working properly. Sometimes he leans in really close behind me to read a few answers in an exercise and then I can hardly breathe and I blush a LOT.

I don't kow if he knows or not. Sometimes I catch im staring at me before he looks away but then again it may mean nothing. I'm trying to forget about him but I don't know if I can...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009):

Hey, I had the same problem, but mine had a happy ending. He was a new teacher, and I happened to tell my friends that he was "fit" so they they all felt the need to shout it at him, we both just laughed it off. until I needed to go to his room to collect some work, i never thought about him that way. When i walked in he said " hey, you ok?" which i thought was a bit strange, so i said yes and asked for my work, then on the way out he followed me out really closley behind me, so is stopped and he walked into the back of me, he went red and apologized. the next day i walked past him in the corridoor where he subtly stroked my arm.So i thought about confronting him about him, but i didnt. This was the friday and on the Saturday i saw him in town, we said hi and walked past him. Then i needed to go and get some books, so my mates said they would meet me in the cafe. In the bookstore i bumped into him, so i thought that i should say something, as i went to speak he presses him fingers against my lips and pulled me to the back of the store, before i could ask what he was doing he was kissing me and i was kissing him back ;). that first monday back he gave me detention for no reason, so i went, when i got there he had lit his room with candles, we could have been in deep trouble but nobody caught us, i went in as soon as the door shut he locked it, so i got a bit scared well who wudnt, so i sat down. he then sat on the table infront of me with his legs wide open and he slowly undid he fly. well i didnt do anything well i didnt really know what to do. well you know how one thing leads to another the next thing i knew i was laid ontop him half naked, kissing him passionatley while we "made love" on his desk. we did the same every other day for about a year until i left, i was 16 and he was 24 and he was HOT

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2009):

Before anything I just wanted to say thank you to the young teacher who posted here because that was the most understanding yet professional post I've ever read on this subject. Just...wow!

I'm 15, I love my teacher. My rules:

1. Nothing illegal, nothing that will harm you or him/her. Important.

2. See it from all sides. Imagine what it's like for the teacher, for the teacher's partner (if they have one), for your friends, for you in later life.

3. Stay friends. You can be friends with the teacher, that's not at all wrong.

4. Be inspired - think of the positives - "out of sorrow entire worlds have been built, out of longing great wonders have been willed"

best wishes to everyone

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009):

omg i love my teacher soooo much, im 16 and hes 24, it makes me feel better that we have a small age gap anyway heres my story brace yoursefl lol:

he was first at my school a year ago, and when i first saw him i thought nothing if it, i remeber just thinking meh another pe teacher for the girls to drool over yawn next. hahaha makes me laugh to think that i thought that anyway...

he was my team leader on a school trip, yet again just a teacher nothing of it, but then i met him and at first he was just really nice, easy to talk to good leader, THEN he would always talk to me and my friend, not i pervy way just in a friend way like he saw us as adults other than pupils, he walked with us everywhere on that trip he came up with games for us to play, our team name handshake, we even had like persnal jokes with each other it was the best!! we got lots of photos taken together, and by then end of the trip it was fond of him

the rest of the school holidays i had addmitted to myself i liked him, and i couldnt wait to get back and see him so we could talk and laugh like we did, by the time i did get back, he was like the boring teacher again he would smile if i saw him and that but it just wasent the same as the school trip, and becuse he was a pe teacher (my hated subject) he was in a seperate building in school so i would like never see him, how can he get to know and love me if i never saw him so my solution: join the sports club he would have on once a week

its now been a while and i have realised i love him, and worse he like never gives me any attention anymore its like he only talks to me if i talk to him, it is sooo fustrating and i only see him once a week so i have to cherish that time but yet again he just plays sport and ignores me, but at the end of it me and my friend stay back and talk to him for ages just us its great but only once a week.

my situation gets worse, btw im sorry for the essay but really i have to get this out. a fellow teacher he is friends with knows i like him, but shes soo evil about it she thinks its just a crush and always says it in front of him the most embarrasing EVER! he just thinks its a joke so does she, but she no idea how strongly i feel for him and its not a joke its a nightmare!!!

you dont know how lucke you are that he talks to you and likes you, argh i just want him to notice me like he did on the school trip, this is making me so crazy all i do is think and fantasise about him and it makes me sad, oh and i didnt mention he doesnt have a gf thats a weight off my mind too lol

best of luck to everyone who loves thier teacher xXx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2009):

my teacher is 24, and i'm 16. We became friends on a school trip and after a few weeks i knew it was love. He's so sweet, in my eyes he's perfect. All i can do is fantasise about him all the time, i only see him once a week. Its frustrating how little attention he gives to me

he makes me crazy! i want him to love me

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2009):

I have the same problem, except i'm kind of lucky compared to you because we have only eight years difference and he's not married.

But, sometimes I feel i'm invisible. He was on a school trip when I was and it was fantastic, he gave us so much attention and we got loads of photos. He treated me like an adult but now were back at school and he only talks to me when i talk to him. Plus loads of other girls fancy him but what I feel is so much more. It hurts but I love him so damn much I feel crazy.

I go to tennis club to see him, I photoshopped photos of us in titanic. that was low but it made me happy.

i have a song playlist that depresses the hell out of me, but who knows it could work out

you're lucky your teacher likes you back

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009):

I understand you all. I'm 16 hazel eyed dirty blonde haired girl and I'm completely in love with my U.S History teacher, he also is the boys varsity basketball coach. He is in his early 40s. Ever since the day I sat in his classroom I could not stop gazing into his amazing piercing blue eyes. He has a smile that lights up the classroom everyday I sit before him. This intense love didn't start for him until about October. It is ridiculous because I can't even talk to him one on one or my voice cracks and I get shaky and my heart races. He's gorgeous, smart, cool, modern and the the farthest thing from a dorky teacher. He is Romeo, I know it. I feel like when he's telling a story of his past or when he's talking about the lesson he'll say something extremely cute or something funny he'll look at me for accpetance/approval and I'll smile and he'll give me an adorable quick smile because he doesn't want to be obvious (well at least in my mind). I've had endless dreams about him. Like this one we were in my living room and we were making out then we stare each other in the eyes and laugh in a sigh that we could never be together as both of our eyes water up. Another one was he called me outside of his class and told me to come back during the pep rally and kissed me. These dreams were more realistic than anything and its amazing how I can remember them so clearly. My friend told me he heard some girls talking about how he is a DILF and I got jealous. It was like a train hit me like whoa whoa whoa don't mess with him he's mine kind of reaction. It was so weird and I KNOW for a fact I love him. Not just that I'm IN love with him. I know I'm not a bad looking girl at all and I wish he'd make a move! I know he has a 6 year old son but he never speaks of a wife which gives me that 1% of hope. Typing this is like venting all my emotions for him. No one knows how I feel at all! I'll always right little hints on my notes like: "DREAM OF CALIFORNIA" because 1) I dream of him and 2) his initials are C.A like california. He's so nice, cute, funny, caring, and it's a passion that won't leave my heart 3

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008):

Hi...

I love my Irish Teacher.

I think my self its sick and all.

And I am crazy. I just found out he is NOT married to my Maths teacher.

I love him I am 13 and he is 43 sick right yeah ye may think that.

Look I tried to do alot of things to forget him but nothing happened.

It just got worse. I feel like I am going to die. I think he has a girl friend or even a boy...

My English teacher is Gay well we think like the whole school. so they are 'best friends.' I love him. and i think that he hates me and all he is really fun to be with in him own time.

I really want to love him freely but can't.

I want to make 'love' with him do everything!

If i needed to be leave him to bet something later i would.

At parent teacher meeting i saw him starring at my legs..

uhuh

i think you should ok take my advice stay clear wait until 18 away from his school and then go for it.

i love him and so do you so take it easy.

love him from a distance.

thanks

confused but still in love

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2008):

hi, i know exactly how you feel, i'm in love with my maths teacher! i have been for 6 years now, he got married in summer which made me break down in tears on a train and now ive found out hes having a child with her which has really hurt me all over again. my history teacher knows how i feel about him and has said that shes told him, but im not sure whether she has. we also have a lot of eye contact, hes very good friends with my uncle whos also a teacher at the same school as him so hes often at his house when i turn up, ive caught him before looking at me when my uncle leaves the room. it feels good and satisfying to know that an older man could like you. but dont worry, your not alone in this!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2008):

Hey, I know how you feel.

I'm 17 and have had crushes on teachers before. I don't think it's an abnormal thing. I am currently crushing on my vocal coach right now (she's 26).

My advice for you would be not to pursue it. He is 44 and married. He may or may not have an attraction to you, but he will likely not push it because it is in violation of the law.

Your feelings aren't wrong, but if he tries to pursue anything with you I'd be very, very careful.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008):

i love him too much

i agree

this hurts like hell knowing he wont know..

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A female reader, Jackie63 United Kingdom +, writes (12 November 2008):

Hi

I'd like to answer all these posts from a slightly different perspective, that of a teacher, which I am! I am a very young teacher, still studying at college part time in certain subjects and teaching others I'm proficient at in schools. As a student, I have always had feelings for teachers as far as I can remember, maybe from the age of 9 onwards! It would have been different teachers each time, mostly people who taught subjects I liked (I hated Maths and wouldn't have fallen in love with a Maths teacher). Some of these feelings I had were just crushes, others were real love. Some made me happy others destroyed me (I even attempted suicide over a teacher when I was 19). And as I'm bisexual, I know I am never "safe" from falling for a teacher, be he a man or a woman.

From both a student's and a teacher's point of view, I'd say falling in love with a teacher is the most normal thing in the world. Teaching is about seduction. Good teaching is performed by intelligent people who are often good speakers. Teachers besides have authority and power, and nothing is sexier than power. Sometimes when I've been excellent at teaching a class and I see some of the looks in my young students' eyes, I think I'd have no right to complain if they fell for me or to pass a judgement on how disgusting it would be for them to fall for me, what with the age difference and everything. I believe all teachers now more or less consciously the power of seduction teaching gives them. All teachers will certainly have stories about students falling for them.

As a student at college this year, I am in love with the head of my department. My heart slips a beat whenever I meet him. He's married, I know his wife who teaches in our college too. She's the loveliest woman in the world, I actually consider her as a friend, I think that if he started liking me and asked me out I wouldn't know what to do. However this is probably not happening. We're extraordinarily good friends but unfortunately, I'm sure it's not more than that.

Unlike the person here who said she couldn't work for her GCSEs while being in love with her teacher, I feel I can work better when in that situation. I want to be the best, I want to please the teacher I love very much. I also work harder out of respect for the subject my loved one teaches.

There is nothing wrong with having fantasies about a teacher. Fantasies are healthy. But do remember, particularly if you're in the UK or the US, that love relationships where there's a big age difference are still a taboo, let alone student teacher relationships. On the continent, in would be one of those things. I know a French lady who married her philosophy teacher from when she was in sixth form. They were married for thirty years and adored each other. My advice would be, if you love him and he loves you, you can foster an amazing friendship and make sure it last. But wait till you're 18 and out of that school to act upon it. If you're an adult and not in your teacher's school anymore, and if he betrays his wife with you, the school won't feel it's got anything to do with them at this stage and he won't risk losing his teaching job. I'll be a sensible adult there but remember these laws on underage relationships are in place to protect other students than yourself of possible abuse by adults. At 16, you're old enough to know who you love. You're even old enough to know who you'd like to spend the rest of your life with. But the law doesn't cater for exceptions. It can't afford too, because of all the paedophiles and child abuse around. If your love is sincere enough then the two of you can wait two or three years because true love will wait. And there'll be nothing the school will be able to do if you have a relationship with that teacher after that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008):

Hi. Love, i know exactly how u feel. I am in the same position. Some things one certain person does makes my heart go manic and i do actually think he might like me. I love it when we just say hi. Sometimes, its like he cant help but touching me just like on my arm or head. He is older than me and i know that nothing will EVER happen but i cant help thinking...what if. Nearly every time that I see him, he looks right into my eyes and smiles gently. Oh god, what will i do. I try to forget about him but i just end up falling for him again.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A female reader, CutieePie United Kingdom +, writes (25 October 2008):

OMG I know exactly how you feel, I am soo in love with my maths tutor hes like 30 years older than me but i dont care, I just cant stop thinking about him at all, i know we'l never be together and that really hurts but I cherish the time that i do spend with him, he always makes me smile. he is really flirty with me he always taps me on the head with like a pen or a folder or somthing in a really playfull way and when im walking to class and he's behind me he kind of grabs the back of my neck sweetley and says get to class you! he always knows when im upset and he sits and talks to me until i tell him whats wrong, he has a girlfriend but he said he dos'nt really want to be with her, Sometimes i wish i didnt like him so much because it affects my work.....i always pretend im stuck and he comes and sits soooo close to me and i love it...I love feeling close to him , once i was so upset and he just gave me a hug and that made me cry more because its somthing iv wanted for so long. I think your teacher is flirting with you and probably wants to be with yhou as much as u want to be with him but he might not be willing to risk his job or what people will think of him, I honestley feel for you because i know it hurts to love someone who you know you can never have I hope things work out for you chick xxxx

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A female reader, CrazedTeenager United States +, writes (12 October 2008):

I completely understand what you mean. I am in love with a previous teacher. It started out just like a regular relationship someone would have with a teacher. Then it took a shark turn.

I first met him at a high school football game. My one friend introduced me to him, since he was a coach and my friend played on his team. The first thing I noticed was his good looks, being that he was only 22. Secondly his personality. He was the funniest yet charming guy i have every met. We ended up talking about soccer, football, golf, bowling... any sport you could imagine. After that we got into the subject of school. I was having problems with one of my classes at the time, and he happened to be a teacher for that subject.

We saw each other on average 3 times a week in the halls at random times. On one occasion I asked him if he could tutor me. He immediatly had a smile on his face and said he would love to. I didn't get a feeling that it was anything out of the ordinary with his reaction. the tutor session went great and it helped me a lot on the test that I had to take the following day.

Soon after we started to see each other every day. I thought this was a bit strange, but he seemed to know my schedule and where i was going to be at all times. I personally couldn't complain about this at all. We started talking for a significant amount of time after each class and after school.

I started to get really attatched and couldn't help not noticing the same reaction out of him. Ohh I believe that i forgot to say that I was 16 at the time. Months went on without any difference between our relationship. All the sudden our conversations took a twist. He started complimenting me on the way I looked, and starting to talk about our family lives. He really seemed to care about how I was doing at home. I had a lot of stuff going on at home, that upset me.

It was one random day and nothing seemed to be going right. He could tell that I was frustrated. As soon as I got home I checked my aim messages. There was one from someone I did not know. I immediately responded and it happened to be him. I didn't know how he got it at first, but then again I didn't care. We talked for only a short time.

We set up another tutoring session, since the semester changed and i had a harder class. I wore a shorter skirt ,and white blouse, and decided to curl my hair that day. I wouldn't say that I was trying to. The assistant principal stood outside the classroom the entire time, which is not normal. Eventually the assistant principal asked to see him outside the classroom. Somehow they had our aim conversation. I didn't know how they had it until I came home. My mother had looked through some program she had installed on my computer that records all my aim, emails... I was shocked and very hurt. Since nothing innapropriate was said we were both talked to by detectives and eventually nothing happened.

My mother decided to take my matters into her own hands, and felt as if i was depressed. They sent me to talk to the school psychiatrist, and eventually to KidsPeace. Luckily I was only there for 2 days since there as nothing wrong with me. I came back to school and didn't see him for a couple days. His last class is in my homeroom so my locker is right next to it. About a week later I saw him, and just glanced over to him. The next day I wrote a letter to him explaining why everything happened, and gave it to him the next day. While I gave it to him, he asked we what is that. A letter I said, I told him to read it and he looked hesitant. Eventually he read it and responded with one.

To make a long story a tad bit shorter I fell in love with this guy, and eventually people found out and he lost his teaching certificate for the rest of his life. I am still in love with him to this day, now being 17. I can't call him, I can't talk to him, I can't do anything but dream about him. I just want to tell you to be careful about what you do. It could really hurt him, as well as you for the rest of your life.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008):

hello i know hw u feel olease can u help me any1 shud i tell ma teacher i like him hes in his 40's i think nd im in one of his lessons in year eleven help im crazy bout him nd i can't concentrate on ma wrk for GCSE!!!! help please xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008):

hello i know hw u feel olease can u help me any1 shud i tell ma teacher i like him hes in his 40's i think nd im in one of his lessons in year eleven help im crazy bout him nd i can't concentrate on ma wrk for GCSE!!!! help please xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2008):

Hey, I totally understand how you feel. I have the same thing with my teacher. He's. . .10 years older than me perhaps? But I feel the same way. I was starting to think that I was an outcast. I can't tell anyone and damn. It just eats at me you know?

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A female reader, BabyAx3 United Kingdom +, writes (11 September 2008):

I know how you feel :(

I'm in love with my modern studies teacher, I can see peoples point when they say "It's only a crush" but it's not, the other day we were all talking in class and he said "You'r like that girl from big brother," and I said "You watch big brother?" and he said "No my girlfriend does." I just died when he said that. But, you do have to realise that he has a wife, and he will kiss her, he's married to her.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2008):

I'm so glad there are other out there who feel the same way.

I LOVE my English teacher, he's only about 7 years older, not married but in a relationship. we connect and have so much in common, we seem to have scilent comversations with our eyes. i'v seen him out of school a couple of times and we get along realy well.

sometimes i think i should try to get over it, but if it's meant to be it will hapen. if anything we will most likely have a good friendship, and if thats all he wants i will be happy with that because if his happy, i'm happy.

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A female reader, nicnak United States +, writes (5 September 2008):

omg I know how you feel although my situation is a little different.

I'm completely infatuated with my softball assistant coach. Everything you described is exactly the same...the thing is...I'm a girl and so is she..yeah I know weird but I swear to God she feels the same way.

I'm 19 and she's 24...almost 25.

There was this one time when she needed a ride to the school before the game, so I had to pick her up. We stopped at the mall because she needed to grab a pair of flip-flops. Then she asked me to pick them out because she said I had good taste. I was just brushing it off and told her that that wasn't true...I joked and said my mom still picks out my clothes. She just looked up at me and replied, 'is that why you always look so good'.

The thing is I don't think I'm gay but with her I could totally consider it. I really think I'm in love with her, I'm just scared to admit it because of our situation.

Also we've texted quite a lot too. We just talk about family problems and stuff and we give each other advice. She has nicknames for me and I can feel her staring at me all the time.

At the end of last season my head coach called all the players in for individual meetings and she told me that I had improved a lot this year and she didn't have any problems with me. BUT, then she mentioned the only thing that bothered her was that my assist. coach and me were too close. So she obviously saw something there.

I just don't know what to do....so if anyone has any advice...please let me know.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2008):

To put this as annonymously and simply as possible:

Dont do it.

I fell for my teacher at 15. he was 24 years older than me.

We had a relationship together secretly.

The police found out and it took 18 months for it to go to court.

He was lucky i didnt tell the whole truth on what we did together - he didnt get a jail sentance, but he got 3 years community service and a teaching ban.

I lost his career. I nearly landed him in jail.

I would type you the whole emotional story - but due to the scale of this i cannot let any more information out.

I wrecked my family

and his

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A female reader, lauzolfc United Kingdom +, writes (11 July 2008):

lauzolfc agony aunthi i know how u feel i feel exactly the same its so hard that you feel that you cant go on. the teacher i love is in his 40s and im 16. i have told him how i feel bout him but i dont no how he reacted as i gave him a letter. does he know that you like him wb x

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A female reader, MuffinGirl Netherlands +, writes (6 July 2008):

MuffinGirl agony auntYour guys too much apologize yourself and your "inappropriate love". There's nothing to be shame about. We can't choose who we love and control our emotionals although they're bad for our feeling and people around us. That kind of things just happened! So act like in any other cases. If you really feel that he likes you, just tell him or write a letter or something. Because men are sometimes very stupid in understanding other's people emotionals Sometimes staring at him for hours and smiling just isn't enough! Almost everybody of here suspect that your teacher likes you. Here you can choose between living in dreams and possibilites or step closer and tell that you like him. It's depends what you want in future. Sometimes is living in dreams better, sometimes not. But don't go to fast, first try to know him better.

In case you're sure that you know he will never ever be with you(or he doesn't like you) then really try to forget him or start trying to find somebody else.

And yes, I have kind of deep emotionals to my teacher too. I'm 18, he's 45.. yes I know, it's a big age difference but I just don't feel it when I'm talking with him

This thing makes me crazy. First I just like him and feel that he's my soul mate. I see him just once a week(or less, now-in the summer never). He speak things which interest me (not only things of subject he teach) and understand world around us on the same way as I do. Although age difference I think we're on the same level of perceiving world and people around. I don't want to pride myself but I have quite a lot talent in quick seeing people's personallity. So the second time I saw him, I realized he's my soul mate (which I feel through our conversation too) And that's what I need in relationship. I feel I could talk with him for hours.

But he has a wife (young and beautiful) and 2 almost adoult children. However I heard a lot about cheating wife with one of his past students. He's wasn't lose his job because we're in very liberal school and no one of the »heads« of school didn't know that.

I'm almost completly sure he likes me, but I'm not sure if he cares about that a lot. I started flirting with him just a month ago and the whole thing is still in progress haha. Anything could happen. I plan to tell him that I like him, but I want to know him more and go to the drink first or something. He sent me one message too, although it was formal but also a little provocative too. I hope we will correspondence in the summertime.

So, just try to enjoy in flirting and fancying him a lot. And if it will comes till the moment, you feel you want to tell him, just tell him. He won't lose his job until someone catches you.

And don't be sorry if he would cheat his wife with you… Because if he loves his wife, he wouldn't cheat. He would cheat anyway, with you or with somebody else. Just relax and don't take anything too much seriously. By the way, sorry for my grammar, english is not really my native language and I don't speak it everyday.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008):

Yeah, I'm just start cause of this question! Well, I (like my name says) love my French teacher. She is 17 years older than me, and I know they all say "you'll get over it, or your sick!", but I really want to start a relationship between us (non sexual of course). I mean, all day I go through my life with this huge ache inside me, like emotional, and I can actually feel it, but I'm really desperate to get a BF/GF thing going ya know! Well, hope this helps. See, I think I may be the only male who doesn't just want their female teacher for sex.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2008):

Hi! It's been ages since you wrote this but i know what you meen. It's aterrible feeling. I love my teacher too. I'm 16. I know it sounds like a stupid crush but its not. Iv never felt this way before. Its like i have a connection with him like iv never had with anyone else. He's like 33 i think. But nothing seems to matter. When i look at his eyes my hert feels like its going to break. Hes not like a pervert and i know that even if he did like me it wouldnt make it obvious because hes my teacher and its forbidde. but he looks at my a lot, and when i stare at him its like nothing else matters in the world. i knows there is nothing i can do.....but i can't stop my heart.....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008):

Im 18 and I've been in love with him for 5 years. It's a nightmare most of the time, but there have been some moments when I feel like the sun shines through the dark clouds suddenly. It's perverse, it's forbidden, it's wrong, and I hate myself for it, cause I can't stop thinking about him.

He is just such a nice person, he's the only one who gives me hope when I feel totally hopeless and inadequet within myself.

I know what you mean when you say it's not a crush, cause I care for him like I will turn off the lights for him and close his door and clean out his half-emptied coffee mugs and stay up till 1am making his birthday card.

Maybe if you love him so much you can keep him as a friend, but if you feel you can't cause it's too painful then it's probably best to stay away from him, at least metally, though impossibly painful...

My teacher is leaving and I'll never hear or see him again...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008):

Didn't you just say that he wasn't interested in you and that you yelled at him when you found out? If thats the case then you already have your answer. The reason he feels tense is because you had a 'mental breakdown' over him, which would make anyone feel extremely awkward. Moreover, it seems pretty harsh to yell at him for not feeling the same way, you can't make people fall in love with you just because you feel that way towards them!

If I were you I would try to get over him, as much as it hurts, you know theres no chance if hes uninterested (Which, we've already established in your earlier post...) and to keep pursuing him is going to make things worse, especially as he'd lose his job if something were to happen. Believe me, I've secretly loved my teacher for the past 3 years and I can understand the pain and frustration, but I know better than to expect anything back from him, its not his fault that i've fallen for him, its mine. He doesn't know about my feelings and I intend to keep it that way as it won't get me anywhere. Its my final week at school before I leave for uni and I can assure you it hasn't been easy contemplating the thought that I might never see him again. But, I know its for the best. I hope this has been helpful.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008):

I'm in the same situation.

I'm fourteen, and this year a new Art teacher came to my school, but I wasn't in his class. He's about 10 years older than me, but as far as I know he doesn't have a girlfriend.

As soon as I saw him I thought he was gorgeous, there was just something about him I don't know, but it feels as if he's looking into my soul when he talks to me.

So anyway, I changed a couple classes to be in his class and then I had a minature mental-break down when I realised he didn't like me and I fully yelled at him.

Now he's all hesitant and tense around me. But I feel as if he likes me in some way. He always comes over and leans over me talking to me and offering advice.

I keep thinking of that song by Leona Lewis, Bleeding Love. It reminds me of my situation a little bit.

I want to take this further, but I don't want to tell him how I feel incase he doesn't feel the same way or he freaks out and makes me move classes or something.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008):

I love my history professor. Gosh, do I.

But I've fell in love with four teachers now... I'm used to it.

Girls - IF YOU ARE UNDER 18. don't do or try to do anything with your teachers... you could get them in serious trouble - fired from their schools and even arrested. if you care about them, at least wait until you are of age.

Unfortunately, most of us will never touch our beloved instructors... Mine has a wife and a baby but he sure is beautiful.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2008):

Wow, it's good to know I am not the only one. I have a crush on my teacher now who is about 10 years older than me. What's funny about it is that he taught me last year, and I thought he was boring.

Then one day-about 2 months ago-it just hit me, and I relized I liked him. I think it happened because I have him for a different class now, and class is so much more fun. He's really nice and the class is entertaining, whereas last year he was always yelling and then boring [it was almost borderline bi-polar] because he hated that particular class [well, just the students in it, they were SO annoying!].

I try REALLY hard to ignore him, but it is obviously not working, because I either get REALLY chatty when I try to ignore him, or when I talk to him, I can't even get coherent sentences out. It's so embarrassing. My friends don't know I like him, but they make it weird for me because one pointed out that I always act like him. Like when I say something or do something. They all have had him so they know exactly how he acts and how I act. Oh, it's weird, and oh how I am going crazy!

But he's married, and he talks about her all the time so I know I have no chance. I just want to get over him so I don't have to feel like this. I like liking him, but I am a realist...I know it will NEVER happen.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008):

I know how you feel!! I have those kind of deep feelings for my art teacher.

It sounds as if, from what you've been saying, that maybe he is attracted to you, or feels as if he has to treat you specially.

My situation is similar, although not as big yet. My teacher does things like looks into my eyes and keeps eye contact, shares jokes with me when he's already told someone else, he gives me the highest grades in class, and recently he's been smiling a lot more at me, and saying my name once or twice EVERY lesson in a softer voice. He also uses the softer voice in regular conversation too. Also, last week, he came and leaned on my table with his face literally 5 inches for mine and looked into my eyes for a moment.

So I can truly say I know how you feel, and I have to sympathise with you!!

I've tried to get over my teacher too, this august will be three years in love with him - so it's a pretty long time.

What I reckon is just that we should enjoy it. If he shares a joke, smile and have some banter back and forth. If he says suggestive things like yours seems to do, pretend not to notice or just keep a straight face and look away. Eventually, he will probably get the message and stop it.

But then again, maybe you don't want him to stop it. It makes you feel good, makes you feel appreciated, right?? Same with me.

Like I said, just enjoy it. But first, you need to make certain that you're aware of the consequences of having a relationship with him on both of you, and if you find out what happens, it'll immediately put you off doing anything as you won't want to ruin his life like that. If you really care about him, you'll keep that student-teacher line between you and make sure he knows that he should be too.

Hope I helped, and hope you can relate to what I've been saying. Thanks. [=

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008):

I know how that feels...Right now I have a major thing for one of my teachers who is 15 years older than me (but for my situation its different because I am in my 20's, so its not as harsh)

I don't have much advice cause I am still am in that odd stage...I basically gave him a note telling him that I liked him and the next day he asked to talk to me after class and we talked for awhile about it..it seemed like he likes me back, but the age is something he needs ressurance on cause he hasn't done this before (and well same with me) I don't know how this is going to turn out though...I am going to find out in 2 weeks when he returns.

I would give him a note, but make sure you either do it in person (I know thats really hard, what I did was walked up to him when everyone left and gave it to him and ran off) or if you put it on his desk or bag, have your name on it and make sure its where he can see it and only him!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008):

Hey. I thought I was the only one like this.

Im 15 and I am SO IN LOVE with my history teacher who's 33, 34 later this year. He doesnt look his age at all, he looks so much younger. I know what a crush is and this is definatley not a crush. When I am in his lesson all i can think about is trying to impress him..its so silly. He is the sexiest man ive EVER met in my life, im not even kidding. You would all swoon if you saw him haha. I used to hate him though, then i began to like him..and i try to talk to him all the time. I can have such deep convosations with him, its amazing. When i gaze into his eyes i feel like he feels the same way i do..which is highly unlikley seeing how he sees people my age as "children" and has a wife. I also think he gets pretty creeped out by me haing a crush on him (thats if he knows) i dont think he likes me at all which is soooo depressing because i love him so much it hurts.

I do anything just to see him some extra time, i walk around school just for the chance to see him for 5 seconds. everytime i see him, my heart skips a beat..i get so nervous and i dont even know why. i must look such an idiot infront of him. :\ today as i was going to dinner he called my name and my heart was just beating soooo fast, and it felt amazing that he called me out of lesson.

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH and it hurts so much knowing that i never have a chance with him .

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008):

I only recently realised that I was experiencing feelings for my teacher, earlier on in the School year. At first I thought that it was just a crush, but then I realised that it was much more. I have tried to tell myself that what I am feeling is wrong, and is just evidence of me changing from a teenager into an adult. However, adolescent or not, I can't stop thinking about him, and I can't go a minute without picturing him or the funny things he does/says in my mind. He's such a good teacher, and has never done anything to hurt me, but for some stupid reason, I keep telling myself that he not expressing any romantic feelings towards me, is painful enough.

He isn't married and he doesn't have a family waiting at home (not that I know of), but I know that expecting anything to happen at this age, and most probably at older ages is nearly impossible, but I just continue to live my life, just like anyone else in a similar situation should :)

x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008):

Hi, I understand each and everyone of you, at the beginning of the year a new physic teacher became my religion teacher and I must say I tought it was destiny. I am 16 and he wont tell me his age but I love him. Everytime I see him, he looks at me and smiles at me and I can see his eyes shining. It takes my breath away. Today I waited for him after his class and when the bell rang I went inside and waited for everyone to get out (they were all giving me dirty looks) and then he closed the door. I lost my mind and just kept on smiling until I remembered my question. Then he steped closer and I don't know why but I opened the door and left. He folowed me and we kept on chatting just like every other day. I almost missed my buss but it was totaly worth it. He kept on asking me questions and even when other older, prettier girls talked to him he would dismissed them and keep on talking to me. I had to hold on to myself so I woudn't jump on him. He is all I can dream of. I just don't know how to encourage him do make a move without looking like a madwomen. Therefore if anyone as advise on how to let him know I am only waiting for his move please tell me so I can try to make this happen and see how far we can connect.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008):

Hi guys...........

I know how are feel I was in love with my ict teacher but now i am not. It is so hard when u are in the with your teacher because you see them very day. But u have to know that u are not going to be together. I have found someone much better (and he is not my teacher.) I am happy now because i can see my ict teacher and just think of him as a teacher.

I know that it will be hard for u to get over your teacher if you are in love with him but that the end of the day r will meet someone new and love him much more like i did. U are to good 4 him. always know that.

good luck!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008):

I know exactly how you feel, my situation is a bit different (he just turned 30, I'm almost 17) and at first I did think it would be just a phase (14 years old, first class). Back then, I knew he liked me specifically because I reminded him of himself, and he wanted to help boost my confidence/self-esteem and act as the "father figure". We strangely had so much in common, and things that were VERY specific too.

But now that I'm 16, and am going to be a senior in high school next year... well, things have been changing. Our feelings have become so powerfully romantic/personal... we both act so subtle and keep it hyper-professional in class because I also want that obvious contrast (outside the classroom he's completely different towards me). But in the lunchroom, in the halls... we play these games... we react, we're affecting each other so much, he changes around me (and I change around him, a kind of energy) and the tension has become so hard to deal with, that all we can do is stare at each other from a small distance which communicates everything (it's crazy how much eyes can say). Usually I'll be sitting in a table in the lunchroom with one other person, and he'll position himself in the closest table to either watch me (from behind, he's followed me too) or in a place -- usually inconvenient -- to give me full view of him and "ignore" me, pretend to read his newspaper alone. He calculates everything he does around me.

I've been getting straight A's in class just so he has no reason to "curve my grade", and never shows favoritism (but he doesn't have to, because it's so obvious between us so I don't need in-class "reassurance"). During videos, when the lights are off, he positions himself to lean towards me, and we sneak glances that he always holds a second too long with a quiet/private little smirk from us. So much has happened that it's difficult and probobly useless to list because every day it becomes more & more obvious (we have a long history, we've met twice outside school, during the weekend -- I've seen his current GF and his old GF both times, but I went with another crazy teacher and we never got to hang out although the teacher I hang out with knows he has strong feelings for me, which is why he shows up and tries to indirectly "set up" dates outside school).

I don't even doubt it anymore -- I used to contemplate if I was just being delusional but he keeps reacting and I feel like now it makes "sense" because we're BOTH in this together. We both understand, and keep the chase alive because we want a relationship badly but can't move too fast. He doesn't know I love him as powerfully as I do, but I'm well-aware of his feelings for me even though he's very good at keeping it in (sometimes, he goes to such an extent it becomes obvious)

If I have any advice, wait until senior year. If he really likes you, you'll know by his nerves and his willingness to chase you and keep you interested, put himself out of his way to get to you. He won't be direct either. You both will understand each other by the way you privately nod, gaze, smile, glance over for re-assurance. If he loves you, he'll wait. It's reciprocated, so he won't let me "lose him". Don't stress to much about it, if it's meant to happen and you both want each other that much and it's genuine, it will. I know we'll still be interested after I graduate, so I'm going to get serious when the time comes.

Now is not the place and time, but one day it will be. I've waited 3 years and will be waiting 4, but he's worth it, and I'm happy because I know he's not just a "phase" who I think will later took advantage of my feelings. We connect, share, understand, bond, and are just a PART of each other.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008):

I know what you mean when it comes to friends telling you things about teachers. I have to pretend that it means nothing to me about what he gets upto in his own time, but in reality you can't help but wonder constantly what hes really like outside of school. Like I said, I recently found out he had an affair with the school receptionist and that hes ditched his fiance for this woman because my friend saw them shopping together. I try not to take it personally, because it isn't personal or anything to do with me, but sometimes when you hear about these things, it feels personal because you've developed such strong feelings towards him.

I feel so stupid feeling like this, i'm 18 yrs old, leaving school in 5 weeks and I've been in love for the last 4 years with a 29 yr old man who I hardly know! I say 'love' but for all I know it could be lust i'm confusing it with, after all hes pretty hot! However, I don't think lust would've lasted this long.

Right now, I feel powerless, i've been 'waiting' for a man who doesn't love me back and I'm not sure whether that hurts more than never seeing him again when I leave for uni. I remember conversations we used to have when he taught me, my heart felt like it was going to burst, especially when I made him laugh. And, even though he doesn't teach me anymore, when he walks into the classroom, I still feel the same as I did years ago. I know the logical thing to do is to leave things as they are because his love life sounds pretty complicated anyway, plus hes not going to be interested in a school girl. But, at the same time I want to rant and scream until he finally achknowledges my existence.

I'm so confused about the way i'm feeling, and whether I follow my heart or my head. What do people think I should do?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008):

i understand you completely

this year they brought a new physics teacher at my school and i dont do physics but i managed to get to know him somehow through sports and universities ( long story ) anw and i liked him since august when i first saw him and i knew i was going to fall for him the minute i saw him cz he's 28 but he reminds me very much of dr. reid in fantastic 4 ( thus the nickname mr. fantastic )

i love everything about him his gray black sexy hair his fingers his smiles his laugh the way he is always clumsy and hits on stuff everything but just an hour ago i realised its not helping me at all. i cant eat i feel constnatly something in my stomach when i see him i just want to hug him and when im away im in my own world.

people dont understand this they think we are just some silly students but this has been going almost a year now and im 18-19 and its my first really serious crush-love. when they tell me stuff about him i cant sleep when i think about him i cant do anything and they told me theres another student younger who likes him and i havent been able to sleep thats why im on the pc right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i think we should all just come back to earth cz unfortunately for usnothing is going to happen they never fall for students and even if they did they re too afraid to show anything cz of jeopardizing they job :-(

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008):

Hey,

I've been reading some of the posts on here and have to admit how much of a relief it is to know that there are others out there who are in the same position as me - ie in love with a teacher or confused about feelings.

For myself, it started off as a crush when I was 15 (I'm 18 this year) on my History teacher (He'll be 29/30 this year)At first, I knew it was just a crush and thought nothing more of it. But, after a year it turned into an infatuation and I knew it was becoming unhealthy because I found myself thinking about him all the time, despite the fact that he's never given me any clear signs that he's interested in me.

I'm currently in my final year in sixth form, doing A - levels, I haven't been taught by him for the last 2 years and in a way it helped me as I saw him less, thus out of sight, out of mind. But, this year i've found that my old feelings that I'd managed to control and repress have resurfaced. Only its worse this time round because I never have the chance to speak to him as he doesn't teach me and everytime we pass each other in school he doesn't even acknowledge my existence - Although, to be fair hes generally like that to everyone - ie doesn't tend to be very social - and yet this doesn't put me off, when it should!

Recently, I found out he had an affair with the married school receptionist and they're now going out. He cheated on his fiance, who was a former pupil he taught at the school - which, I must admit gave me hope that maybe one day that could happen to me, but now i'm not so sure. I have a strong feeling that my feelings for him aren't mutual, so haven't acted on them nor do i intend to.

But, as its my final year, i've found it increasingly hard to adjust to the idea of not seeing him ever again when I leave for uni and that part hurts the most. I don't know whether i'm in love with him or if this is another infatuation, but I do know that whatever it is its painful. I want to move on, its for the best and I know its the most realistic scenario as hes got his own life and i've got mine. The chances of our lives colliding are slim, especially as i'm moving to uni and god knows what i'm doing afterwards.

I guess my advice to others in a similar position to me is to think objectively, (not subjectively as you'll be inclined to put your feelings before rationality) about the chances of you and your teacher becoming an item in the future and what implications that could bring. This way, you'll have a clearer view of whats realisitc and what isn't.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008):

Ok I SO know what you mean.

Im 14 and I love my teacher who is like, 40 or something. Hes so beautiful to me in every way. Hes lovely, and i can forgive him over anything he does that really upsets me. Like, there was some rumour ages back about him and another student...and i was like, SO MAD!! But despite thta, all my friends were like, oh god youre so bad fancying him, you have to stop, or youll make a fool of yourself. And so i tried to stop liking him.

But do you know, that didnt make me any happier.

He's said so much stuff to me that could mean he likes me. Done so much. The looks, the way he talks, how much time I spend with him. The way he says my name. Its all like, heavenly.

But, hes married, and ive seen a photo of his wife. absolute heartbreak. When he talks about her, it makes me wanna cry.

So i love him. And you love this teacher. And ive tried ignoring it. But that doesnt work. I think the worst thing you can do is deny it. So, as hard as it may seem, i think we need to accept what we're feeling. Just accept it. But despite how much you wanna be with him (and believe me, i know how much that is. like youd do anything for it), it was be soo much trouble if there was. hed lose his job, and hed be so unhappy, and everything would go BANG. Thats the only thing stopping me from throwing myself at him.

I dont want to hurt him.

So i'll put it this way:

if you really love them, let them go

and if they come back

thats how you know.

If its reciprocal, then it will come through. He cant be that amazing at hiding his feelings. So you'll see.

Hope this helps. I still love him, and it hurts, but maybe time will make life better.

X

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008):

I dont know exactly how you feel, but I know how it feels to love a teacher way older than us. I love a teacher before and he is now about older than my parents age (46 this year) and Ii am still n contact to him. wehn I was year 9 he was divorced with his celebrity wife and he was all depressed and I came up to show him he's not alone but I think he misused me and got me confused like u do and I was deep in Love with him until year 10 where he became MR. busy and preoccupied. I hate being on the depressed state

well, my opinion, it is ok to like or even love him. some people think it's not appropriate because they never felt that way before and cannot position themselves on our position. they dont know how we feel.

He is with his wife. well, it means he also got confused about his feelings. I mean, he cant just divorce and marry u or something. he need a serious realtionship or maybe he's bored with the life. his wife, too. he want refreshments.

well, that's just what i can say. in this state I think you'll need to talk aobut your feelings to him and naturally that feeling will go off with the time. think about other stuffs.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008):

hey guys....

i love my teacher too...and i just want to say that you don't know what it's like unless you've experienced it, so people who keep saying 'that's disgusting' or 'get a life' are really insensitive because they don't understand how hard and confusing and painful it is to love someone so much who you can't be with.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008):

hey, i know how you feel. my english teacher from last year is the most beautiful person - internally. on the outside, she is nothing flashy; no movie-star looks. but there is something about her as a person that makes her so attractive. i can't stop thinking about her, and everytime i talk to her it is simply amazing. but, i know i can't do anything, so i guess that's it. fyi she is married too :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008):

I'm 13 and i fancy my teacher and he is 40, all of my freinds say it's wrong, i adore him and we talk alot and i give him loads of things, like every time i go to cooking class and we make something i all ways share it with him. I personaly don't think there is any thing wrong with liking your teacher but his married that is the sign that says don't get to involved with him, the teacher i fancy is married so i know we are just freinds and nothing more, so i would just enjoy what you have now and don't go looking for a deeper relationship with him.

Hopeing it will work out for you

Emz xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008):

i know how you feel i thought i loved a teacher he was about 40 and had wife and 2 young kids. When you get over it though you will realise how foolish you were being and how much you wish you never liked him. Also you can get him put in jail if you try anything and cause problem for him at home with his family. He will be labeled as a pervert for the rest of his life if you got caught. So if you truly loved him you would leave him alone and try and get on with your life, it would be the kindest thing to do for him aswell as yorself

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008):

we're all in this together you know, all us gals who love our teachers. mine's 31 (and im fifteen), looks like a cross between johnny depp and david terrant, and hes done all these amazing things like climb mountains and sky dive, and hes so smart, and such a brilliant teacher, and hes so nice, and i don't think he likes me (in that way - i think he likes me as a pupil), but often when i look up, hes been looking at me. my advice to you - well, id like to say, go for it, but hes married and all, so thats not so good. im so glad my guy's not married. i dont really have any advice - my sister said that this girl in year 11 told the teacher i like that she was in love with him, and he almost got fired, and she had to move schools, and ive read books like Salem Falls, where the teacher gets put in jail becuase of a students crush (to all who love their teachers: read this book, i find i read the sections where the pupil and the teacher are together over and over again). man, i love this guy. dont listen to people when they say its a crush, becuase its not - i'd do anything for my teacher, and im guessing you would too, but maybe its just a part of growing up, you know, cos girls mature faster than guys, so whilst all the boys in our year seem like incompetent egotistical narcissists, our handsome, caring, intelligent, masculine teachers are like these amazing gods to us. i hope everything works out ok for you. your situation is more complicated than mine.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2008):

Omg! I totally know how you feel. I have a HUGE crush on my egineering teacher. Like I don't know. it's just that feeling I get when I see him, the butterflies and the feeling of just the two of us in the world. He gives me mixed signals. So I don't really kow what's going through his head. I've always thought he was cute during freshman year but never really thought of anything else. I didn't even know he realized me. I thought I was just invisible. So this year I had his class and I was suprised that I was the first one he came up to. He called my name (which i didn't even think he knew) and just started talking to me. It was the way he talked to me that made me fall in love with him. I would say he's the first guy to ever notice me and remember me. So he started talking about how he likes my tshirts i wear and that he's been noticing since the beginning of the school year. I didn't think anyone would notice at all. So on and and we talked throughout the class and I just felt so cared about. So we sat there a bit and then he asked me what I was doing that night (in a I want to ask you out tone/look) and I wasn't sure how he said it so I just said I wasn't sure what I was doing so he just changed the subject. In class he would always come to me and "show" me how to draw my objects since in engineering we have to do a lot of drawings and stuff. His hands "accidently" touched/layed ontop of mines and he acted as if he didn't notice. That moment my heart just melted. I know I'm NOT in LOVE with him but it's a strong crush and i'm pretty sure you'll get over it too. But for now, i'm just enjoying him notice me and making me feel as though i'm the center of his attention. I just love how he looks at me, his beautiful eyes and the way he smiles at me. I sometimes feel as though he really likes me and everytime i look at him I catch him doing the same then he'll act as if he was just turning his head. I actually thought I was the only one in the whole world who had feelings for my teacher. It's nice to know i'm not alone and that we're all going through some sort of the same thing.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2008):

I just want to say please don't let it control your life. I understand how much you love him. My situation was worse because I fell in love with a my teacher who was a woman lesbian and I am not a lesbian so it was so hard for me to understand. That feeling of dizziness you get whenever you see them,the feeling that you're in a different world. It's hard to bear. But I knew I was not a lesbian and I think that when we students love a teacher, it is most definitely love, but the real reason is the longing for someone who loves you and treats you differently. I know that it was admiration for my teacher that I have and I have now realised to think of her as a best friend and not let those silly feelings of love take over me!! Until you no longer have that teacher the feeling will not disappear but it is important to try and control those feelings no matter how hard for it is only you who you will ultimately damage

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A female reader, ButterflyAway New Zealand +, writes (22 January 2008):

Hey, this is the same girl who posted on the 8th of November last year... just re-read this... you know, sometimes, when we think about people so much, we get an image in our heads of what we think they're like. This image is generally influenced by what we want them to be like. For example, I had a crush on a history teacher who never even taught me for a few months, and I was sad when I learnt he was leaving, so I left him a letter with my email address and we met up and have been emailing since. And the guy I talk with on chat and email is different to the person I thought of. Not in a bad way. Just different. He's much less sexy than I thought, and far more human. And maybe that's what you need to accept about your teacher. You guys have a connection, I understand that, but he's got his life, and you've got yours, and you need to live both your lives.

You mention that your heart explodes every time you see him... I can relate. That swooping feeling in your chest and stomach that sometimes makes you dizzy and feel like you're gonna fall down? Yeah. It's amazingly addictive. I suggest you try to get to know this other younger guy a bit better, the one a year older than you. Older males are amazingly mature compared to their younger counterparts and that's what I find so many girls going for... but younger guys can be great fun as well. I've recently found out, anyway. Just being friends with younger guys, I find, can help with your own infatuations with older me. You can see what those older guys used to be.

This probably hasn't made much sense or even been helpful (please forgive me, it's just past midnight here now and I'm exhausted) but I hope you manage to extract some wisdom :) Good luck. I'll check in on you in a few weeks.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Reply to:

A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008):

I can't just act on it. That's absurd. He has a wife, and is going to have a baby boy within the next few weeks!

I know I love him. But now..I have a crush on two other guys. Another one is also my teacher. He's closer to my age, 27 to be specific. (but he is in a relationship)

The other one is a year older than me, and would be great for me.

It's just getting over the teacher I fell in love with is very difficult. I've tried several times. My heart explodes everytime I see him.

What do I do?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008):

he DOes like you........ just go ahead... meet him in a private place and tell him what u think of him .. hold his hands. look at his eyes. and kiss him on his lips.... Men like to be kissed on the lips.. I do like my academic advisor at first sight.,,,.. I didnt dare to tell him that... but I had chances to be near him... talking to him on the internet.. and having lunches with him in his office... those were great...Later, he knew I liked him ...loved him.... although he havent said he loved me .. but I do know he likes me romantically... we were making out, holding tight... ect... those time were great....He is a lot older than me , but I do like mature men.

so I advise you just act on your feelings. and hope you have some luck ~ but I think he does like you a lot.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2007):

*sighs* I, too, know how you feel. Mine's my 29-year-old History teacher...it's rather depressing. I've only seen him with his wife once, but now I can't ever stop seeing her when I see him.

http://hcfanfiction.proboards100.com/index.cgi?board=schoolteachervignettes&action=display&thread=1175008582

^^ A list of all the happenings between us...And it's amazing what you can remember about them after a period of time, isn't it? I haven't had his class in almost a year, but I still remember every little conversation we ever had together...My mom always tells me to grow up and forget him, but she doesn't truly realize how hard that is, especially when my friends call me every afternoon to let me in on what happened in his class that day.

Even now, whenever I go to see him in his class, I sit in his room with him. And normally, you know, when you're alone with a teacher, there's awkward silences. It's not like that with him. With him...the silences aren't awkward at all, more companionable.

But anyway, that's where I'm ending my rant. It's good to know I'm not alone, anyway!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2007):

It is incredibly relieving to find someone in the same situation. It is for nobody else to say whether you are or are not in love with him as i am sure you yourself would find it hard to distinguish infatuation with love as, indeed, there is no barrier.

I am *in love* with an english teacher at my school. He is also 44 and i am also 16.

It makes it worse by the fact that he lives a walk from my house in the flat above one of my best friends. The situation has kicked me hard in the head and heart.

I have currently come to two conclusions 9excluding the idea of "getting over it" as this has proved virtually impossible due to his extremely charming nature). My first conclusion is to hold back a couple of years until i am old enough to make decisions without being scorned or condescended to.

My second is to, in some way, speak to him about it or, if that proves too difficult, make it so obvious that he has to adress me.

K., England

p.s. i don't recommend listening to the smiths - it makes you feel all the more depressed (although Morrissey bloody is a legend).

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007):

omgggg me and my friend are in love with one of our former teachers from freshman year. he is 30, so gorgeous (sadly married...) and he's growing out a beard and it's just beautiful.

He's really pretty dorky (he's a computer teacher) and she (my friend) and I make excuses to go to the computer labs to just look at him... we never seriously consider acting upon it though...

Don't worry about it... what will be will be, you can't control your love, so don't think that what you're feeling is wrong. be sure to show some scruples with your actions though, he's far older, married, and you're still in high school so it can be pretty dangerous if anything romantic/sexual happens. I wish you luck! :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007):

You say, "but I can't help it"

You can 100% help it if you actually want to. There is no stone tablet handed down from Moses that says you only get attracted to people you should get with. Attraction does not justify anything whatsoever.

Maturity is having that attraction but knowing it's not a good idea to act on it, and choosing to leave him alone. You CAN "help it" if you choose to.

If you don't choose to help it, then it is YOUR fault what comes of it. (That includes the emotional damage later on too.) If you're declaring that you believe you are "mature" enough to mess with him, then you're also declaring that he is NOT "taking advantage of you." Take care of your own self and don't blame anyone else when the consequences come later on.

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A female reader, BeckyStar United Kingdom +, writes (6 December 2007):

BeckyStar agony auntI know how you feel, I'm in love with my teacher too but I've got a boyfriend and it's complicated. I wouldn't say anything because you don't want to get him into trouble but it still hurts. I'm 19, I feel really embarrassed :( xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007):

I feel the same. My teacher is so cute with his copper hair! he's always kind to me. (he's got these beautiful eyes*concentrate!*)Anyway, my teachers not married(he's 27.

My sister is older than him!)I can slobber on him some more XD! If your teacher is married, FIND ANOTHER GUY...HE's A PERVERTED MAN!!! But still, that doesn't mean you have to avoid him. But if he comes TOO CLOSE,(sexual harrasment/touches you the wrong way)Then HE REALLY IS PERVERTED, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007):

i am going through pretty much the same thing, i am 13 and my RS teacher is 34, he is not married but the major problem is that i can pretty well guarantee that he doesn't have any feeling for me, he is the focus of all my dreams, thoughts, hobbies etc. i spend hours pouring over books and stuff to try and impress him. currently really down because he asked not to teach me this year because he knows about me liking him. the only thing that keeps me here is the 0.001% chance that we will be together some day. hang on in ther, you are not alone xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Reply to

female reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007):

Well, my teacher does not have any children. But he will be having a baby boy in January. That's what i think too. (i remind him of his wife) We are similar in some ways.

i don't know. sometimes i feel he likes me platonically, other times - romantically. It goes back and forth.

I'd love to be in a relationship with him. (if it didn't involve hurting anybody)

But i think i will tell him how i feel. (just not anytime soon, maybe when I graduate) I just want a guy like him (my age or a year older). I've never met anyone that amazing, and hopefully i'll find someone more amazing.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007):

Well, I'm sort of in the same situation, and I have been before, but believe me, it doesn't work out. I had to realise that myself. I've liked so many teachers and several guys WAY too old for me, one a few years ago that I was actually considering suicide because I knew I couldn't be with him, but now I look back and think that I was insane to be thinking about that.

I get the feeling that he does like you. Plantonically or romantically, I can't say. You might remind him of one of his own daughters, if he has any your age, and maybe that's why he drew the sunflower picture (he might draw his own daughters like that). Or maybe you remind him of his own wife when they first met.

I do get the feeling that he knows about your feelings for him (because he didn't kiss his wife when he saw you looking at him). My advice is this: try to keep focused on class, even when he is VERY distracting, and keep your relationship professional. Consider his wife and children's view. How would you like it if someone your age was flirting with your father? It hurts, I know, to have to put aside your feelings, but think of it as a sacrifice for the greater good and for him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007):

I know how you feel, I had a teacher who I thought I was in love with. The point is that he is way too old for you. You know this; If he is flirting with you you need to tell him to stop. It sounds like he is flirting but you could just be taking this the wrong way. I suggest, since you two are so close, that you talk to him about the way you feel. If you are too embarrased, write a letter. DO NOT become intimately involved with your teacher, it makes a huge mess of things. He can get fired and go to jail for a really long time. Trust me it's not worth it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007):

This is an awful situation! I know from experience,

I've been completley and utterly infatuated with mine since the first moment I layed eyes on her,

shes 16 years my senior (32) she never acts her age haha.

BUT obviously eye contact is a sign of one taking a liking to a person,

Sorry, alot of the stuff hes saying to you does infact sound like playing around but not necessarily flirting.

He wouldn't be in a marriage unless of course he was happy,

And he probably didn't kiss her a second time due to the fact it was inapproriate and his student is watching,

Probably not comfortable with the idea.

I'm not going to tell you to get over him because that is waayyyyy easier said then done,

But you have to consider all factors not only is he your teacher hes had 28 years more experience then you.

Nicki Shackle and jeff sinclair made it work but it doesn't necessarily mean that it will for everyone,

I'm sorry but it does not sound like he likes you

and if he does in any way hes defantly not willing to playon it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007):

I'm sorry but this guy sounds a little suspicious. I think he should have more sense than to flirt with a very young girl, considering he's in his forties and has a wife AND she turns up sometimes AND he is your TEACHER. This situation is quite unfortunate, and regardless of how much you love eachother/lust after eachother, neither person should make a move. It would be very foolish to do so.

And don't worry, I'm not just some random looking down my nose at you. I've been smitten with my teacher for years and, fortunately, he likes me(in a purely platonic way, thank god). I find it very difficult to cope, as I've experienced terrible heartache and yearniing and depression etc etc. The simple fact is that he is your teacher, and you are his student. There is a line there that is not meant to be crossed.

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A female reader, Kawaiiy Canada +, writes (20 September 2007):

I know how you feel, only the teach i like is 26 and not married, i can sympathise with you seriously.... but we both knwo that if we actually love this person, its best to leave them alone, no matter what happens, he could lose his job, his reputation... and if u really do love him, u have to let him go,

abrt him liking u... he's taken like mitch said.

too much trouble...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well here's my update on the situation....

His wife was at practice again...except he still flirts with me...just when she's not close by.

He was walking away from the bleachers. I'm the manager for the team, and I was sitting there. He said "You're doing an outstanding job of managing, (my name), keep it up!" he said that with a smile and a slightly red face. lol. I just shook my head, kind of embarassed. He looked back at me and said, smiling "I'm serious!"

Then as a reward, he gave the team candy. lmaoo.

He said, "And a chocolate kiss for you." I swear I was red! lol. Well, I politely refused the hershey's kiss. lol.

Later on, we (his wife, him and me) walked by a softball game going on in the park. We were talking about as how we get older, we don't care what people think about us. He leaned into me, almost like 3 inches from my face. lol.

He whispered to me, "(my name), see that guy, with that hairdo? He probably doesn't care what anybody thinks about him." lol. Then we heard some familiar voices, it was two girls that went my school. One said, "Hey Mr.(his last name), what am I invisible?" He said, "No I didn't see you because I was talking to my manager."

Well, that's all that happened. Just a quick update. lol.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2007):

I think im in love with my teacher too!! hes always playing with my hair nd doing everything just to make me laugh!! Hes a basketball coach nd has a sxc six pac...i know coz i accidently caught him takin his shirt off!!...if you can call it an accident. But he has a girlfriend nd i dnt know what to do. Im 14 and hes like 37. Id do anything to atleast get a kiss from him!!x

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A female reader, earth angel United Kingdom +, writes (2 May 2007):

earth angel agony aunthi

sounds like you have developed strong feelings for this man.you oculd maybe ask your self what makes you attracted to someone who is out of reach. if he wanted somehting to happen how would you feel?

it sounds like he may be attracted to you it does happen though he does have a wife and does he have children?

as he is your teacher he would be of great risk losing his job if he were to act upon his feelings.

often when we are at school we develop feelings for older men and often ones who are out of reach as this is a safe fantasy.

we are still trying to find our selves and make sense of relationships. we have strong emotional feelings that are hard to control.

im sure you will find a way of dealing with this. maybe finding someone to talk to who is objective like a counsellor may help you.

many regards

earth angel

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A female reader, AHeartsBrokenEvent United Kingdom +, writes (1 May 2007):

AHeartsBrokenEvent agony auntTo the girl who wrote...

"i feel the exact same way about one of my teacher, i hate calling him a 'teacher' it doesnt sound right to me, he look about 19! but hes 27 and im 16 i dont really think its that big of a age gap but he has a girlfriend.."

My situation is exactly the same and you seem to want to handle it the same as me!! Nothings impossible :) if it was ment to be it was meant to be!

If it was destiny sometime in the future maybe when your a little older it will happen:)

Is there a way for you to keep in touch?

If you wanna talk about it , talk to me , message me :)

with your MSN or something b'cus were in the same situation babe:(

and IM FINDING SO BLOODY HARDDDD!

Hope your alright and I hope things work out for you if you don't want to message me:)

Keep dreaminnn girl cus if you want something enough it'll come , be patient:)

xxxxxxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2007):

Umm k I'm being totally serious trust me he does like you I am in the exact same situation except I'm 16 and he's 24 so uhhh little bit less of an age difference haha but all of the things you described (like staring at you, smiling at you a lot) he's done to me and he has even told me he cares about me; last year he had a girlfriend but he broke up with her and has not had a new one since. And he's HOT.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2007):

i feel the exact same way about one of my teacher, i hate calling him a 'teacher' it doesnt sound right to me, he look about 19! but hes 27 and im 16 i dont really think its that big of a age gap but he has a girlfriend..

he taught me last year, we got on really well, i think he likes me to, actually i know.. it just started with weird little things like our hands touched and he would look at me and blush, by this time i used to talk to him all the time after class and i knew it was ment to be, ino that sounds abit cheesy but everything he likes i like! i said to him once i love london (were hes from) n e went 'same here, and i love new york' i couldnt believe it, but thats nothing so much has happened, its unbelievable.

me and him have out own lil world, evrytym we see eachuva we jus cnt keep are eyes away! i remember last year when he was staring at me in class, n me n my m8 were in the middle of the class room, he seemed to b listenin to every word i sed! 'sarah and (my name) stop talkin about (my names hair)! later on that year we wre goin on a skl trip fo a few days ( were jus talkin bwt (my name) bringin her blow dryer to france he looked deep into my eyes and sed 'very nice' wii a v flirty smile on his face! one tym it was a hot sunny day n my m8 shouted frm the front of the class 2 me ' ino sumat u dnt knw' he was stariin at me constantly ' what?' i said ergin to knw, he looked nervous wen i looked at him n was bright red, then made a reli flirty comment! (lookin at me) i wish i had my shorts on its soo hot in here' evry1 was laffin, they knew y he sed that!

n3waii, he is all i think about n even tho i dnt av him anymurr we both stil make exuses to talk 2 eachuva. on the las day i had him e gave me my book bk n looked reli dwn, i just wish he knew just how much he means to me, its horrible that i have to leave skl knwin there is nothing i cn do about it, he has a gf, it kills me inside. he is EVRYTHING 2 me n all i think about, i just know that he was made to be mine. im not gna give up cz e is my life, n altho e likes me, iits reli nt anuff, i love him n i will tel him wen i leave bcoz he is my world n i think u should to. good luk chik xx (soz 4 da essay lol )

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2007):

Its a phase i had a crush on a teacher for about 2 years from when i was 13 till i was like 15, but after i changed schools and moved on to highschool i completly forgot about him, thinking back it was dumb to "like him" he was an old man practically 20 years older than me, and even though somtimes it felt as if he was flirting with me now i realize he was just being niice it was my "young and inlove" feeling that made me think that he liked me .Lets be practical here "He's Teacher!!!!" there was no way things would ever work out.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2007):

r u crazy ur 16 he's old enuf 2 b ur grandad

find some1 ur own age,

like me

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Can someone just tell me if he likes me or not? please.

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A female reader, NuttyGooner United Kingdom +, writes (28 April 2007):

NuttyGooner agony auntI've had a few like that.

Now you want some advice on what to do? Steer clear! It will just cause one collosal mess! He's the coach and you are on one of the sports teams, no wonder he feels comfortable talking to you, he might feel embarrassed because he is probably aware of your crush on him. He's married, he probably doesn't know he is giving you "signals".

It's hard to avoid your coach, but spend more time with your friends and giggling over other boys - spending every waking day thinking about this guy won't make things much easier for you.

I wish you luck!

Nutty xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2007):

Poor you! I know exactly how you feel... I'm kinda going through the same sort of thing.... I have had feelings for my teacher for around a year... we flirted constantly and had a laugh. Few months ago I was sexually assaulted on a night out. He was the first person I told. He was the only person I wanted to tell. I feel closer to him than my parents.

He has been there for me since then. He hates to see me upset and has been in tears because he's so angry with who did this to me. I have recently started to feel better and we have continued our flirting. He is also married and I know he loves his family very much. But he is one of my closest friends, and he has told me things he's told noone else. Recently he has obviously started to notice we have crossed a few lines so he tries to make it look as though he is keeping his distance. I know, I just instinctively know he is attracted to me.

There's not much that we can do, I don't think. You've just got to see it out and if it's meant to be then it'll happen... I am leaving school in a few weeks and I hope to tell him that I love him, but maybe leave it just so that he thinks it is platonic love. I am considering staying back at 6th form at my school... hopefully we can further our friendship... maybe when you leave you should ask for his number so you can stay in touch just as friends?

Hope everything works out for youxxx

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