A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ive been with my girlfriend for nearly a year now after chasing her for the previous 2 years. She is my perfect partner, shes beautiful, smart, funny and we have an amazing relationship. My problem is that since we've been together Ive started attracting more attention from other girls, and I cant seem to say no to their advances. I have very low self esteem and I do like the attention, but I don't want to lose what Ive worked so hard to get. Please help me. How do I stop?
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female
reader, Variety +, writes (21 November 2007):
 Low self esteem is not something you diagnose yourself with. It is not an excuse to treat your girlfriend badly. So what you get attention from other girls? You should be caring about her. Or you'll lose her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): I am going to tell you a story.
I have been with my man for 8 years. It was awesome, I thought. He was always a bit of a flirt. Always got attention from other women. It seemed to give him a big ego trip and he thought he was pretty special.
He cheated on me in April this year. It was a big mistake, because he loves me, I was the best thing in the world to him. That's his side.....
When I found out I was devastated, still am. It has destroyed a life I was very happy with. It destroyed his life - which after the mistake he suddenly realised.
When someone you care about deeply betrays your trust and security in a relationship by cheating the results are devastating to the betrayed partner. You are completely torn apart, mind body and soul. It rocks your world like nothing else. You are consumed by the betrayal of someone you love and that is a very very difficult thing to fix.
It destroys a part of who we are inside and the feelings which make us so vulnerable to pain. To be honest I am still not sure if you ever get over it.
Cheating and betraying someone we love, must be difficult for the cheater if they truly care. So it is about a choice.
Don't excuse your self esteem issues with the ability to cheat. If your self esteem is low, for goodness sakes tell this women you care so much about.
Self esteem can be rectified and improved on, but hurting the one you say is so important may never ever be repaired.
So choice - Do you want to destroy her? If not don't be tempted, enjoy the attention - with her.
If you don't care about how this may destroy her - cheat.
But I can tell you now, if your self esteem is a niggle it will be a million times worse when you betray someone you care about for a silly rush of ego.
It comes down to the person you are and want to be. Your values, character and integrity.........
To deter your infatuation on this issue, just read all of the posts about how hurt and devastating this is to a relationship...
Be honourable and decent, life is much easier that way.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): The only reason those girls now like you is because they see your g/f are like "wow, he got her? He must be special" so now they want to see if they could get you, because they admire your g/f. If you don't want to lose your g/f you're going to just have to stop it.
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