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I love my bf but...Is this older guy at work making a move on me?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 January 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 21 January 2007)
A female , anonymous writes:

I am 17 and have been dating my boyfriend who is 2 years older than me for 7 months. I absolutely love him and don't see any other guy as possibly being right for me. However, there is a 21 year old guy I work with that flirts with me. The other night I had a dream that I was hooking up with him. I thought maybe since he was 4 years older and attractive that maybe it was just a fantasy but, these past few weeks I've noticed he's been around a little more often than normal. I could be taking it wrong because im still at a teenage level of dating, but could he be trying to make a move on me? And what should I do to keep this from tearing apart my perfect relationship?

View related questions: at work, flirt, I work with, move on

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2007):

To be honest only the way YOU act will stop ur relationship getting torn apart. So dont flirt (dont lead him on) n dont go out in social situations (one-on-one) with this work guy. Remember tryin to juggle two guys is always goin to end in disaster...with u hurting them and ending up lonely.

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A male reader, cherub +, writes (20 January 2007):

cherub agony auntI am sure you love your bf but from your question there are gaps in how truly you love him.For example,the older guy is attractive and possible fantasy(my interpretation of fantasy is someone you aspired to be with usually a film star or someone of that stature but this guy is right at your doorstep).Maybe you are flattered by his interest,more sophisticated and older guy and mixing up your feelings.

If you examine your feeling honestly and truly love your bf then all you have to do like the others said,is to say no if he asks you out.It is sometime not easy to let someone down especially if there are nice but you have to be firm and kind with it.You could say I am really flattered by your interest and asking me out but I have someone I truly love so the answer is no.

If you are not firm,I am sure he will try again because even a slight hesitation mean uncertainty hence chance.

Best wishes.

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A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (20 January 2007):

willywombat agony auntIf you don't want to destroy you other relationship don't respond to any of his advances. It is really that simple. And if he asks you out say 'no'.

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A female reader, Amethyst United States +, writes (20 January 2007):

Amethyst agony auntIf your relationship is as good as you're making it out to be, you won't let him tear your relationship apart. If you're finding yourself torn between the two -because- you're confused on who you love/like more, then you don't really love either one. If you're in love with your boyfriend, and you're happy with him, but you want to stay friends with the older guy at work, simply don't worry about whether he's making a move... because it doesn't matter. One day when you two are talking about what you plan on doing that night, say you're going to see your boyfriend, and if he continues trying to make you his girlfriend then you know you made the right choice, because you deserve better than him anyway. He should respect you're taken, that's that.

Good luck!

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (20 January 2007):

cd206 agony auntIt won't tear apart your relationship unless you let it. If he asks you out/makes a move just tell him you're sorry but you already have a boyfriend and you love him. It's not a big deal for any of you.

CD

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