A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:ok, i have done something slightly insane - and i know its insane but i want that to end and to become reality now but i think i have gone too far for it to over be what i want it to be. let me start at the start and i apologise in advance for how long this will be! i met an amazing man on myspace almost a year ago, i know everyone says you cant fall in love with someone you havent met but if it wasnt love, its a hell of a lot like it! we clicked straight away and always talked about how we were meant to be together and were soul mates. the only problem is that the pictures i was sending him were not of me. they were of this completely breath takingly gorgeous girl. now dont get me wrong, i know that it wasnt just physical and i know how he felt about ME but i went to such extreme lengths to make him believe i was this girl that there is no going back now.i made fake myspaces of all of the girls friends so i could leave comments on my myspace to look real, i even had a fake myspace of the girls sister, and when his brother started emailing the fake sisters profile i got talking to him "as her" and added him on msn .. all to make it more believable that i was real.i know, i know. i'm crazy. but the thought of losing him was so painful even though i always knew i never really had him in the first place. anyway, i used to text him from my old mobile claiming to be one of "my" friends, so he thought he was speaking to one of the other girls in the pictures when the whole time all of it was me. i think i must have faked a total of about 20 or 30 people just to make him think it was real.it was cruel and horrible and he did NOTHING to deserve any of this treatment and mind games.But now hes onto me. hes figured out that after a year of excuses as to why i can meet him, a year of "my mms doesnt work" when he asks me to send him a picture by phone, and a year of texting "my friend" but never hearing her voice because she never answers when he calls, he knows that something is up.he has told all of his friends and family about me and now he'll tell them all that i am fake and insane. which of course is completely humiliating for both of us. i even made up a fake name!so my problem, obviously this chapter is over. and i want it to be over. i want to just forget what a stupid little girl i've been but i dont want to lose him. do you think there is anyway i could get him to want the real me?i think it would never happen if i told him what i've done then told him the real me and expected him to forgive me and be cool with it but i was thinking, do you think it would be a better idea to cut off all contact with him and then make a myspace and contact him as the real me with no games and no more lies? i'm nothing like who i pretended to be though, i'm definitely nowhere near as attractive (although i dont think i am ugly) and my life is not as fun or interesting. but like i said, i know that he had feelings for me and i know he loved the way we connected and the way we got on when we talked on the phone. but then, if i did contact him and start something he would probably recognise my voice and know it was me again.god i am so confused. i've broken my heart. what an idiot. please help.ps i know he hasnt lied about who he is because i have seen him and his friends on webcam.
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (7 September 2007):
 You silly, silly girl what a mess you've dug yourself into! Okay, so he's never seen a photo of the real you?....My only suggestion is that you create a new e-mail account and get to know him all over again, only this time use your real photo and your real name and perhaps he will think the really gorgeous girl died in a car wreck, never to be heard from again. He will then be able to get to know the real you this time, thinking you are someone new. After that, no more lies. You've learned your lesson.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2007): It sounds like you need to take a leap of faith and just be honest about who you really are and just see what he Is really going to do. It is obvious that you have feelings for him but yet you will always have to wonder if you do not take the leap of faith. Good Luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2007): The problem is that you have built this online "relationship" on a web of complex deceit. As you know.It would be extremely difficult for him to think of you as stable and not flaky. He must be confused. He has no idea as to who you are.What on earth made you go to such lengths to misrepresent yourself like that? I think that that is the REAL issue here: why you are so lacking in self-esteem and confidence that you have to pretend to be someone you are not. I recommend doing some serious work, maybe with a therapist, about this problem.The ONLY way now, if you want to try to pursue this friendship, is to come clean. Send him a real photo of you and tell him the truth about what you have done. See if he would be willing to meet you for coffee, so that he can at least see the flesh and blood you.He MIGHT be willing to give the friendship a chance, but I have to tell you the prospect of his doing so is very, very slim. You must be prepared for a "no way" response if you decide to attempt this.Otherwise, cut off all contact with him forthwith, and work on what is a serious problem for you so that the next time you meet a man, you'll present yourself as "you" and he will either be taken with what he sees, or will not. That's life. We like some better than others, and we need the self-assurance to accept that, come what may.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2007): wow, i don't think you're insane but you are mean and manipulative. you deserve whatever anger he throws your way, once you confess. and you should confess!! don't let this linger-- it's wrong and like i said, it's mean..apologize to him.
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A
female
reader, Jualsy  +, writes (7 September 2007):
 What is your problem???? You have already established what kind of person he is, and he is likely to continue to be that kind of person no matter how long you stay with him. However, you are not responsible for the way he behaves, you are only in control of how YOU behave.....and you have set a very dodgy foundation for this relationship.....your choice initially!!!!Ask what your standards are?Do you care for yourself enough not to put up with this kind of thing???There are many people in this world that we can love....choose and settle for only the best!!Onwards and upwards!
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