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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for a year, and we live together. Everything is fantastic with our relationship, apart from the sex part. When I first started seeing him, I wanted sex with him all the time, it was all I could think about, and whenever we went out, I couldn’t wait to get him home! Now, though, it just feels like I can be bothered anymore, I love him deeply and could not imagine my life without him, but I don’t have the same feelings of lust anymore, although he still does for me. This has happened to me in every relationship I have ever been in, and it really up-sets me, because I want to be that girl who always wants sex, and I just feel guilty about it and I also think my boyfriend is not happy about it either, although he does not really complain, but does make funny comments about it. I want us to have a fantastic fulfilling relationship with both love and sex. I have never had an orgasm before, but am not sure if this is the reason. I do still fancy my boyfriend, but I don’t have the same exciting feelings anymore. I know that things often dwindle a bit when you have been with someone a while, but I really can’t be bothered at all anymore, the only reason I do it now, is to try and keep things normal, and it feels wrong if we don't. But sometimes I almost feel annoyed when we are doing it and want to push him away, not because of how I feel for him, but because I am almost forcing myself to do it, which seems ridiculous. I have never really wanted to play with myself, this feels totally ab-normal to me (even though I know it isn’t, and is perfectly healthy), I just can’t get turned on on my own…well, neither by my partner anymore also, it seems. Please help, I want to be truly happy with the man I love.
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female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (18 July 2007):
 Maybe going to see your doctor might help as there could be a problem there somewhere? At the moment we have sex an average of once every few weeks.
xxxxxxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, I am not in the mood at all really, and I cannot think of a reason as to why this keeps happening to me in my relationships. I have talked about this, and the fact that I have never had an orgasm with my boyfirend, and he is up for lots of foreplay and stuff, however, I cannot really be bothered with it anymore, so it does not happen. We do still have sex about once a week, but this is only because I hate the feeling when we haven't had sex for a while, and I feel a sense of releif once we have had sex, although, I am not enjoying it, I am just going through the motions. I get really jealous of my friends, who have really good sex lives and talk about having orgasms, as I feel that I am missing out
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (17 July 2007):
I was the same with my partner. I think its something to do with being "confortable" with the person or so my psycologist told me when I asked her. You get to a point where you don't feel the "need" to be physical with your partner that often anymore.
Do you still feel in the mood for sex, even if it is only twice a week or something. Don't feel guilty if you are still having sex hunni. You're guy may have to come to terms with the fact your sex drive has dropped a little and that can happen for various reasons. Mine's low at the moment due to pregnancy and I mean really low.
Have you tried talking to your boyfriend about the fact you have never experienced an orgasm yet. Maybe that is a factor so maybe you two should get playing around and make you have one.
DONT just have sex to feel normal and keep your guy happy cause trust me he will KNOW if you aren't enjoying it. My guy hated the fact I tried to keep him happy by having sex with him.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (17 July 2007):
 Maybe this is in some way physchological, which may sound strange but you say all of your relationships end up like this, so with out even knowing it now you expect this to happen and so it does.
If you want to be with him still and want to work this out maybe you could consider going to a sex therapist and seeing if they can help you understand why this always happens and see if they can help you change it.
Take care.xx.
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