| A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: Hi Agony Aunts,I'm having a difficult time at the moment. I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 months now - he's so nice, truly loves me and never does me wrong. He's honestly a gentleman and I do love him.However, we don't even speak the same language. He came to London 1.5 years ago to work but he didn't bother to learn the language. He hung around with people from his own country so didn't see the need. He only begun learning English when he met me. This is the main problem - he's greatly improved from when I first met him but that's all. He seems to be staying at the same level without anymore progress. I want a boyfriend that I can communicate with. It's so hard having a conversation with him because either I don't understand him or he doesn't understand me. I'm really jealous of other couples who can talk about everything.Also, sex is quite disappointing. We both lost our virginities to each other so I didn't really expect much as we were both new to it. But I'm so frustrated now. He ejaculates very quickly literally after 1 minute or he insists on a blowjob first because "the second hard on will last longer". But the thing is the second one hardly comes, and if it does it's after an hour or so. Leaving me sexually frustrated. We've been sexually active for 4 months now and we have sex regularly but I can honestly say that I've been sexually satisfied about 8 times which is hardly ever! He likes sex and boasts about it too but I just go with the motions hoping that this time it'll be different but it never is.I love him a lot and he loves me too. We're going to his home country next month to meet his whole family. Apart from the language barrier and the sexual issues, he's a perfect boyfriend. I can't bring myself to break up with him. It seems too much of a small thing to ruin the relationship. Help me please!Thanks,DA
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2016): It's not a small thing it's a massive thing! Conversation is at the heart of relationships. There is no relationship without communication. I could get this more if you had an amazing spark and sex life, but you say even that is no good. My boyf is foreign and speaks excellent English, we still have misunderstandings due to language. I could not imagine if he didn't speak it well! Also it is extremely isolating to go to a country where you can't speak the language, when we visit my boyfs country he's the only one I can talk too and I have to rely on him for everything. I would seriously rethink this relationship. Doesn't sound like there's a lot in it for you.
A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (8 May 2016):
 Communication to me is very important. How else do you voice your opinion and/or concerns? If it wasn't for the language barrier I'd say talk to him about your frustrations (sexually) but since that's a problem what is there left to say? OP, you need to figure out whether you're ok continuing on with bad sex and very little communication. If so then God bless you moving forward but if not then I suggest you break up with this guy.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 May 2016):
 ... If you are unsure, then why are you planning to go to his country to meet his family? What is the purpose of that?
Language barrier can be real troublesome. I have had a 3 boyfriends from other countries, who I experienced varying language barriers with. And I agree, it is a real struggle, and you miss out on a lot. If you're not the type to talk a lot, or not the type who depends on verbal communication, then it can work. But if you are like me (and it sounds like you are), and you apprechiate that daily talk on how your day was, and being able to laugh at jokes together... then this will be a problem, and there will be resentment (just look, you are already resenting him for not having learned the language when he first got there).
5 months is long enough time to know if it's working or not. You already know the answer.
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