A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've met this man 18 years my senior when I divorced my husband of 22 years. He helps me to go through the divorce and get my life back on track. We get on well and been together two years now. I love him and want to get marry but he doesn't. What should I do? Please advise.
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female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (12 March 2008):
 This is really weird, because I was with a man for nearly 12 years, and desperatly wanted to get married. I had been married before but got divorced years ago.I dont know why I wanted to marry him, for security I think?. But it ended because he was a really nasty peice of work.Now I am with a guy, who I dont want to marry, but I feel I love him more. Maybe I just feel that I am secure, or that a ring on your finger is not the answer to comitement.Anyway, if your happy what does a piece of paper alter.XX
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (12 March 2008):
 You can wait until he changes his mind or until you meet someone who wants to marry you.
Live from day to day and enjoy life.
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A
female
reader, asian tealeaf  +, writes (12 March 2008):
 is it possible theres more to this story here? why did u get divorced? it could be discouraging to him to marry u if he views u as a woman with a lot of baggage. he might love u, and sure hes been there for u. but marriage is a committment one cant just walk away from as easily as one can if ur just bf and gf. so ur best bets to talk to him and find out his reasons. communication is vital and if he cant do this with u, then how can he marry u? its an important factor in a relationship, so be at ease and dont fret. remeber, u can live without him if necessary. or continue as u are. but dont push. u will frighten him away. chances are maybe he wants to give u time as an unmarried free woman free to discover other choices and options before he decides if he wantds to commit. he could be taking a sideline and quietly observing u as an individual.and if this is all true u will be grateful for it one day. time is all u have. so dont rush it. and good luck ma,am.
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A
male
reader, Paladin  +, writes (12 March 2008):
 I suspect the real question is why he doesn't want to re-marry and if the real issue is not that he doesn't want to get married but that he doesn't want to get married now. Maybe all he needs is a little more time. He just may have the fear that marriage could damage a good thing. I don't know what his background is but I have seen a lot of people who have been through some nasty divorces and many of them need a lot of time to get over it. Sometimes divorced people have some bagaage that needs to be overcome. I think the best thing you could do is have a calm and concerned conversation with him and find out what his true reasons are. Also, think about why you are so concerned with getting married and are you really in a rush. Remember this, if he didn't care about you and love you I doubt he would have hung around during your divorce. Thats a lot of pressure for a third person.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (12 March 2008):
You can either stay together unmarried, or you can move on and find someone who wants to marry you.
You haven't told us if you've spoken to him about it or what his reasons are.
It sounds like you have a good relationship. I can understand you wanting to marry but how important is it to staying with him. It is only a legal document at the end of the day. If you want the religious side, would he consider a blessing?
Talk to him calmly and find out what your reasons are and what his reasons are.
I am sure you can work it out. x
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