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I love him and he wants to leave his fiance for me

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 July 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 July 2007)
A female Australia age 36-40, *ust me... writes:

Ive been with a guy who has a fiance.

We have become so close that he wants to leave her, he says he has never felt this way... he cries to me because he is in such a mess... he tells me he is inlove with me and wants spend his life with me instead.

The problem here is - i am 21 and he is 35. I love him to death and would happily spend my life with this man but im worried about our age difference and whether my parents will get used to this. Throughout this year we have developed a perfect friendship as well as a strong love for eachother.

I keep telling him to stay with his fiance and work things out - such as: talk through their problems, go to councelling, etc... i tell him this because i need him to be completely sure before he makes a massive decision in his life, but he is sure that he would rather be with me.

He is petrified at the fact that he may leave her and i will not stay with him because of our age difference. i know we are from totally different walks of life but i know he is what i want... im just scared because i dont know what to do and what the future holds.

If anyone has been in the same situation or has some constructive advice for me i would really appreciate it.

Thank you xx

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A female reader, burningbridges Canada +, writes (1 July 2007):

Things shouldn't be just up to you, that's silly on his part. He should probably break up with his fiancee, not because he needs to, to get you, but because planning to replace her like this implies his loyalty is lacking and he's not ready to marry her. Single or with you, she'll be better off free instead of being second best.

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A female reader, scarlet_tears United Kingdom +, writes (1 July 2007):

scarlet_tears agony auntMaybe before making any decisions you should talk to your parents? Don't mention any specifics, just ask them how they would feel if you were in a relationship with an older man.

Really, you just have to ask yourself what means more to you. While I'm sure your parents would get used to the idea, there would probably be a very rough and awkward time before that, which could even cause problems in your relationship.

Also, ask yourself whether your relationship with this man would lead to a future, or whether you would be ruining his relationship with his fiancee for nothing.

I hope this helped. Keep us updated, ok?

Meg

xxx

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A female reader, Just me... Australia +, writes (1 July 2007):

Just me... is verified as being by the original poster of the question

just to define... the decision is basically up to me now and i am very confused.

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