A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Two days ago was my wedding day. I had been with my supposed-to-be husband for a year and two months but there was a conflict. You see, my best guy friend of nearly a decade stood up from his seat in the third row at my wedding and called out, 'I object!' He gave me a look of desperation before fleeing the scene. Of course I followed him because I wanted to know what the hell he was thinking.Well, he told me that I shouldn't marry my then fiance and I asked him why not and he said because I should be marrying him. I was shocked, although I have to admit that I've thought about what it would be like to date him, I just never really put a lot of thought into it. This entire thing created a rift between my then fiance and I and he accused me of cheating and has packed up his stuff and moved back to his parent's house.My best friend has decided to leave the city and has gone an hour North of here. I have no idea when he'll be back, either. I consider myself at a loss for so many things and I want to blame my best friend, but something's keeping me from getting mad at him. I want to know what I'm supposed to do here! I lost my fiance AND my best friend. I feel utterly... I don't even know! Please help...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): your best friend stopped your wedding, revealed his feelings then ran away to another city. poor excuse for a potential boyfriend.you need to tell your fiance how sorry you are. your apologies will not mend his heart but it may give him some answers, later onn he may find the girl of his dreams. the girl is sadly not you, so maybe you both just saved yourselves heartache and pain from making the biggest mistake of your lives.i can't even think what your fiance is going through right now, but it must be killing him. whether you meet up with your best friend in the future, just make sure he dosn't run away like a coward.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): I am the original poster of this question!First I had a talk with my best friend about what happened (in person because he came back) and decided to give this 'dating each other' thing a try. I've also apologized to everyone my ex-fiance and I invited about them having wasted their money and have started packing up the wedding gifts to send them back. My ex-fiance and I also had a talk about what happened and he said he kind of saw it coming. That my best friend has been in love with me since probably before he came along and he just kind of feels bad for not caring too much about it. I told him not to because I left him at the alter and that it's me that should be the blame for everything and he said he just hopes I have a good life with my best friend. I don't think I'll ever hear from him again.Anyways, all the advice was amazing and thank you to everyone who has posted!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (3 April 2009):
Look at it from your poor finance's point of view.
You are standing at the alter, happy as anything, when a girl he is REALLY close to stands up says "I object" and bursts into tears and runs off.
He then looks at you, and runs off after her. All thoughts of marrying you are suddenly forgotten in his mind and for all you know he's not coming back. You are stood there alone, humiliated in front of EVERYONE you know and love because he seems to have cancelled the wedding for her instead.
You obviously weren't 100% sure on the wedding anyway.
Re-read your question. You go on about the best friend, and how sad you are that he's gone and how you can't be angry with him.
The guy you were supposed to be in love with only gets one mention saying "he's accused me of cheating" like he was supposed to be more supportive when you buggered off away with another man, cancelled the wedding and cost everyone lots and lots of money.
Have a think about what you really want from both of these men and then pick one and go after him. You can't have both any more.
You may still want to go and apologise to his parents for wrecking the day as well.
Good Luck!! xx
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