A
female
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anonymous
writes:Hi,I'm 27 and just recently got out of a 3 year relationship and I seem to be over it because it just wasn't working and I knew it wasn't and had been waiting to end it for a while. Now, the thing is that I've recently started working (my first real job :D ) at this place about 3 months ago and a lot of the guys there seem to like me, which I was really not aware of until one of them asked me out. We have been dating for about 5-6 weeks now and started having sex about 2 weeks ago. This guy however is not of the monogamous kind and says as much. He does not want to give up his sexual freedom. Ever. That is not somebody I'd want as a boyfriend and he's obviously not somebody I would want to spend my life with or anything. He sends naked pictures of his ex-gfs and sexual encounters to one of my girl-friends from work which makes me kinda uncomfortable (he doesn't know I know this). He does seem to really, really like me and hasn't mentioned any other dates or any other girls he's seeing or sleeping with or anything. I'm not sure if that means that he's not seeing anyone else either. He does not, however, think we're boyfriend-girlfriend, which is perfect by me. I do not want to be the one to change him or anything, I don't want to try either. We do a lot of lunches and dinners together and sometimes spend quite a bit of time together. There's this other guy at work (both these guys are pretty friendly with each other) who's been trying to get me to go out with him and I finally set up a date with him. One of the reasons is that I don't want to get too attached or hooked onto the first guy, since I can only see myself getting hurt that way. This other guy is really sweet and funny, but I haven't been on that date yet (it's tomorrow) so I can't evaluate him perfectly. This other guy knows that guy1 and I have gone out a couple of times, but I'm not sure of the extent of his knowledge. I'm a little confused as to what information I should share with both these guys and if it's safe to date these two people, both of whom work at the same place as I do. I've always been a one-guy kinda girl and this is the first time I'm doing something like this. I would stay with the first guy but the fact that he can't make us exclusive just doesn't appeal to me. And I like the second guy too, so I am looking forward to our date. I'm just not sure exactly how to handle all of this, if you know what I mean.Thank you very much for reading and your advice is greatly appreciated!! :)
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male
reader, 2old4this  +, writes (11 April 2009):
 Well, if your feelings were that strong then you probably should have not gone on that other date and just concentrated on figureing out your feelings for guy one. Find out if you are pregnant. If not then cut your losses and move on. If you are then maybe try to build the communication back with guy 1.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, so I went on the date with guy2 and we kissed. Guy1 found out about it and got really, really, really mad because they both work together apparently. and he's broken it off with me. he thinks i'm a whore and says he'd never want to touch me again because i kissed the other guy and i didn't tell him about it, someone else did. i am very very upset about that but there's nothing i can do about it. i did not expect him to react that way because he said that i was free to do what i wanted..! :(anyway, i think i'm pregnant (spotting a week back n late period, i am yet to do a test) and i don't know if i should tell guy1 or not. we work together (on different floors, thankfully) , i see him everyday and he just ignores me completely. my heart drops when i see him and i just feel so awful because in all honesty i had very very very strong feelings for him. any advice for me?
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A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (3 April 2009):
I think you are doing fine. On your date, if he asks, just tell him you are not seeing anyone exclusively at the moment. But kinda let him know that you are a one man exclusive type of woman that just hasnt found the right guy yet. That should leave it wide open for you to go out with him but if you dont care for him you can still date the other guy or someone else.
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