A
female
age
36-40,
*orldFallsUp
writes:So there is the guy, we shall call him Ricky, I am hanging out with. As Ricky explains it and it did start off that way, but now its changed. We are still hanging out, but when we do...we don't act like just friends. We stand there and he will hold me. There will be times he just touches my forehead to his and says stuff like, "You have no idea how much I love spending time with you" and stuff like "You are one of the funnest people I have ever met". Then when he sleeps over (nothing naughty happens, only cuddling) he kisses my forehead periodically when he thinks I am asleep.Now Ricky is in the age group 22 to 25 and is divorced. He is a really sweet and kinda shy guy. Versus me who is loud and outgoing. I really do like him, but the problem arises with Trey (as we shall call him). Trey is a friend of one of my best friend's. I met him at my best friend's bar. He thought I was really cute and said I seemed sweet, the "kind of girl you actually date" as he told my friend. Well, Trey asked me on an outright date and my friend said I needed to go. Said that Trey was a really good guy and we needed to date. While Trey is funny, hot, and seems amazing. I didn't have that initial feeling with him and Ricky popped into my mind.I am still going on the date with Trey, but what about Ricky? If Ricky is interested in me, I would choose him in a heartbeat. But how is me having feelings for Ricky fair to Trey? I think I need to get past that and try dating Trey. I don't know what to do! Advice?
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best friend, divorce, period, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, justme..x  +, writes (26 August 2009):
 Aww, that's really sweet, glad it worked out well :D xxx
A
female
reader, WorldFallsUp +, writes (26 August 2009):
WorldFallsUp is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you to all those who answered this question and problem of mine. Trey ended up being a creeper and Ricky is currently my boyfriend :) the Trey situation caused him to basically stepped forward. We are now dating and it feels so right. Thanks again!!!
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A
female
reader, justme..x +, writes (14 August 2009):
Hey :)
I can understand why your situation is tricky, hopefully this will help a bit!
Okay, go on this date with Trey - it is fair to give him that chance I think. If you get on really well, and your feelings for Ricky fade - if Trey makes you happy, and you want to be with him, etc etc - then great, problem solved. Be with Trey.
But, if after the date, you still like Ricky, then don't see Trey. It's not fair. I say this because my friend went through a similar thing, and she said yes to her equivalent of "Trey" but couldn't carry on with him because she felt so guilty as she still had feelings for "Ricky". It's not fair to be in a relationship, just to lead someone on and go through the textbook motions of dating, while the whole time you are stuck on someone else.
Well that is my opinion anyway :D Good luck, hope that helped! xxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009): i think you should still go on the date with trey and see if he lives up to the expectation of "ricky". If not then you have your answer. However, if you find out that this guy "Trey" is actually pretty decent. You have another situation. In my opinion and experience I wouldn't see them both but treat them both as just friends and over time the answer will become clearer...hang in there honey!
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