A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and i of 6 yrs broke up a couple of months ago. We are now trying to work things out. She recently told me that while we were broken up she messed around with another man and did everything but sex. She asked me if i did anything. My first response was no. I actually slept with another woman. I want to tell her, its only been a day since i told her no, but i am afraid she'd be more angry that i lied than about what i did. Should i tell her or keep it to myself?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2007): having went through a similar situation, it is best to not tell her what happened. I was in a serious relationship with a girl for a long time and she decided we needed a "break". During this two month "break" she slept with a co-worker that I had been having suspicions about since she met him. Well she told me about it, and I told her that I hadn't been faithful either and it tore our relationship apart, the other girl meant nothing to me but it still ruined our relationship. If you want to save this relationship, I think it would be in your best interest to keep quiet. But I am just commenting from past exp.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (21 March 2007):
 Under these circumstances, I am behind TasteofIndia 100%. You were not a couple when this happened and she wanted to be honest. The lying is probably worse right now and this will only haunt you in the future. Hope everything works out for you both and Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, chazal  +, writes (21 March 2007):
It is definitely best to tell her!!! I have been lied to in the same situation as this before and if she finds out then she will never trust you. if you care about her and you want to make it work then you MUST be honest from the start!
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A
male
reader, dizzy222 +, writes (20 March 2007):
If the woman you slept with was just a fling and didn't mean much, then I'd tell her mate. Best to be upfront, she may eventually respect you for being honest. These things are to be expected after splitting up.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (20 March 2007):
 If you have a feeling she'd be more angry about the lying than the actions, I suggest you come clean. If you think that you are going to be with this girl for a long time - especially if you're thinking about marrying her - I'd go ahead and tell her. Tell her you were afraid, but you had to tell her. Tell her you're sorry you didn't tell her yesterday, but you were really nervous and scared you'd lose her. Tell her you want to be honest and you want to make this relationship as good as you can.
The guilt will probably get to you and if you tell her any later than now she'll only be more hurt.
Good luck, sweetness. I can understand if you decide not to tell her, but I think this is best.
xxIndia
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