A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok i met this guy on this website and we started chatting on MSN every day. However, at first it started off as a joke when i set up my profile so i lied about my name and used a different photo but everything else i said was true, just my name and picture isnt, oh and my age (im 22 in 3 weeks but told him im 22 already). but obviously once i told him those lies, i couldnt exactly start telling the truth but the thing is he has said hes really starting to fall for me and wants to meet me (hes legit and i know he is who he says he is because he uses a webcam) and now i dont know what to do. i want to meet him as i know hes falling for my personality but what about the fake name and photo? im nothing like the photo (shes skinny and pretty, im not).should i come clean to him or just not meet him and carry on chatting on MSN or should i cut contact with him altogether?
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female
reader, Just a Girl... +, writes (8 May 2007):
 hey huni xxx put a picture up of the real you on msn and see wat he says. if he likes you still then he shud understand that you were just messing around with your profile because it didnt matter but now feel close to him so want to be the real you. if he doesnt lke you after then you simply move on and knw not to repeat the same mistake.
take care huni!
A
female
reader, xcharlottex +, writes (8 May 2007):
I've had people use my pictures on msn instead of their own. Im guessing you did it becuase you felt you'd have more of a chance if you used someones picture who was "good looking". some people can fall for someone based on looks as the majority of the attraction, but seeing as you talk over msn and its taken time to get to know eachother its definatley more likely he's fallen for you because of your personality. Tell him the truth. If its "meant to be" he'll understand.
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A
female
reader, confused718  +, writes (8 May 2007):
 just say that it's your friend's profile and your just on it. then, get a real pic and put your real name. or just tell the truth, he would probly be happy you told him if he really likes u. if he really likes u'r pic, then he needs to be dumped.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2007): Firstly, I often wonder why when people don't post their true pics online, why they feel the need to hide themselves. What you did was in effect, lying. This type of online behaviour is perhaps a good indicator that one (you) isn't ready to have a truthful, open relationship with anyone. Before doing that, you must understand that loving oneself is important. From that comes confidence, trustworthiness and the truth. I think you should tell him the truth and apologize. You in effect 'used' him to have some fun at the expense of his feelings and emotions. To you, this started out as a joke. That is so sad, hun. We don't play with people's feelings and emotions to make us feel better about ourselves. That's just not the decent, humane thing to do. He went on webcam and let you see him...that should've told you right then and there-he was being sincere in allowing you to see him for what he was. Next time you go on sites and post your pic...pick a picture of you, that is complimentary. Make sure it is YOU, though. And buy a webcam. They don't cost much. Now...show him the 'real' you and then see what he says. And if anything he'll learn from this...always insist on seeing someone on webcam, so one knows exactly who they are talking to. Even asking for more pics will not do it...anyone can get access to other people's pictures and can post them.. Ultimately, the best way to meet people? Do it over a cup of coffee in the real world.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2007): yes you need to tell him. the age and name thing aren't important. one because you basically are 22 and the name is a smart idea to protect yourself from stalkers. however, the photo is a lie. clearly you used a picture of a "prettier" girl because you don't see yourself in a good light. what you don't realize is you are setting yourself up for a huge hit. i would absolutly walk away from the first meeting of a man who lied to me. it may not be because of what he DOES look like but no one wants to start a relationship based on a lie. you shouldn't either. so, i expect that he will absolutely walk away because you were dishonest. because you are self-concious, you will always wonder if it was because of your true looks or your lie. don't do that to yourself.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (7 May 2007):
 Yes, I agree with Mitch here, you need to come clean with him. Let him know you have a confession to make. Tell him that the personality really IS you but the name and the picture are different. First thing he'll want is to see what you really look like so you'll have to do that, either by putting on your webcam or sending him a picture of you. Let him know you were only protecting yourself, you didn't know you were going to actually meet someone and fall for them.
After that it's up to him whether or not he decides to continue speaking with you. He may still fancy you (from your picture), he may not. Looks are only skin deep they say but there has got to be some sort of chemistry between you or it won't work. See how it goes, good luck!
Eve
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