A
female
age
30-35,
*hannon561v
writes:Okay so, I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I let him watch porn while I give him oral sex. It's never when we have sex, but my question is I feel like he's being turned on by the girls on the internet, is this okay or am I putting my relationship in a place where it shouldn't be?
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oral sex, porn, the internet Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2012): um he should be horney because of you not some slut on the computer. Also you should ask for penetrative sex without him watching porn if he says no he is probably using you and sees you as an object and not a person.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2012): That would leave me mentally scarred
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A
female
reader, haslar123  +, writes (7 April 2012):
 Hi,I have been going through the same thing! I made him get rid of all his porn and things were ok for a while but he was always mentioning it and saying I was silly. We are now in a rocky place. So my advice Tell him and try to work it out together, ultimatums do not work if you are making him give up something he does not want to.If you cannot come to an ammicable solution then as far as I am concerned find a way out.I hate porn, it has eroded my self confidence do not let it happen to yougood luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2012): You are putting your relationship in a place it shouldn't be.
For one, porn is a show, it is geared for men and clearly degrading to women, not reality and your boyfriend is growing up with a false sense of what sex is and should be about in a real relationship.
Do you want to explore your sex life based on what he sees on porn or do you want to explore your sex life based on what you have between the two of you? There is a big difference....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2012): I wouldn't be comfortable with that, why watch something when u are there, he should be focusing on pleasing you in return for what you're doing for him, not just getting himself off.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2012): I don't see the need for that, in fact it will probably reduce the connection between you in that intimate moment. It's like if you both sat down to have a conversation, what would be better: to be watching TV or text messaging other people while trying to talk, or to turn everything off and truly listen to each other? There are times when you have to stop all the interruptions and distractions and just be with one another. I'd say if you really have to watch porn, do it before, then put it away.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2012): I wouldn't like it personally i don't agree with any porn in relationships, how did he even ask you?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2012): doesn't sound like a bad thing to me, but it's a bit strange. I do watch porn but I never felt the need to watch porn or get any other form of extra stimulation while receiving oral. does he have any problems maintaining his erection or reaching orgasm? if not, feeling you and watching you should be enough for him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (5 April 2012):
 Unless it offends YOU, I don't see a problem.
Personally, I think it's a dumb crutch to use porn, when there is no doubt you can rock his socks off without it.
What if he can ONLY get off IF he watches porn later on because he has conditioned him to do so?
Sex should be between two people, with him watching porn where is his mind at? With you or some pornstar?
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (5 April 2012):
 I think that porn can be worked into a healthy relationship. I have watched porn while having sex and we both enjoyed it a lot. Just like everything in this world you don't want it to become an excess and be an all the time thing.
He's is being turned on by both but the truth is although visually those girls are there you are on his mind since you are very much there.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 April 2012):
 We do it sometimes...
works for us...
we do it without porn too...
works for us but better for me....
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A
male
reader, Replacement +, writes (5 April 2012):
 If both of you are happy with this arrangement then there's no reason not to. Different strokes.
On the other hand I would try giving him oral without porn next time and see if he still responds the same way. It could easily become a crutch for him and you don't want it getting out of hand... that's how feelings get hurt.
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