A
male
age
30-35,
*ddy_nicolas
writes:Well, this is another story of my life. i have decided to write those things down coz i cannot keep them inside me any more.I have started to like this website (I have received quite helpful advice), but I'm curious to see if anyone has an answer for this one. I'm starting from some familiar issues.My mom divorced and married again. I was like 8 years old but after that my mom was extremely cold with me. Actually because of the stepfather i was living in a hell.I've never been happy with them, but i have found myself in books. They were my best friends. I never received education from them. I just have learnt by myself all about education.After a long time i met her... and I was happy till... she decided to trick me with my best friend. When i have graduated my bacalaureat,''my parents'' told me that i cannot live there any more. I couldn't support myself to university so I had to leave it coz I couldn't afford it so, i came to the UK to look for jobs.The question is: what should I do to not think about the past? and also how should i break the fact that I'm shy... because basically I have interacted more with books than with people, I have to admit that.I mean I have got high education, I can talk anything but/for ex: I have failed in every single relationship. So this thing could be disturbing sometimes.I will appreciate any answers.thank you
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best friend, divorce, shy, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): You are not alone.
Lots of other people might be better at starting relationships than you are right now. But they may not be any good at growing and maintaining healthy relationships in the medium and long term.
If you are able to sustain long term relationships at all (friends, relatives, male, female, etc) then you have a leg up on many of these people.
The things that you aren't good with can be learned or taught. But the problems of someone who chronically screws up existing relationships may be much more difficult to deal with.
A
male
reader, eddy_nicolas +, writes (18 November 2009):
eddy_nicolas is verified as being by the original poster of the question well,what du you mean when you are saying ''counselling''?mental house?im not crazy.its just i didnt have time for girls and because of the fact that i wasnt going out i became shy and inexperienced.
but i have loved the idea of ''book club''.i will search for a languages club.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): Hello, sounds like you would benefit from going to counselling for a while this will help you work things out for your self and help you with the communication tools needed in any relationship, talking to someone who is removed from your life can help you work things out yourself more effectively. why dont you join a book club(or any club), you'll get to talk to people there too and you'll be somewhat comfortable because books are your thing. If your a decent person and you meet someone, they will see that, just be kind and be yourself. I really recommend counselling though, it really helped me a lot and anyone i know who has gone to it. there should be an affordable service in your area. Hope this is useful, good luck!!
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A
male
reader, alifecorrupt  +, writes (18 November 2009):
Dont try to forget the past. it helps make you into a stronger person. as for communicating with others; try pretending that they are a book to be read through asking questions.
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