A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I cant get over my weight issue!!!I am plain and simply over-weight! I dread to think how much I weigh but Im a UK size 22/24. (I have a medical condition which currently prevents me from losing weight and my bf knows about it)My boyfriend has slept with many many girls of all shapes and sizes...some of which I know are absolutely perfect model like girls. His actual ex girlfriends however have been bigger but id say im the biggest (i think)He is very popular, girls try it on with him alot on nights out and if we're just shopping or at the cinema or out for a meal or whatever girls constantly check him out.He tells me he loves me everyday and he always says that im beautiful. He kisses me on the head and always gives me cuddles. We have sex around 2/3 times a day on average. He's told me he loves my body.Why cant I get this into my head?? I keep thinking that all these girls who look perfect and he could easily be with one of them so why isnt he? why would he stay with me when he can be with someone with a perfect body. I also hate knowing he reads magazines such as nuts and zoo and knowing that guys do check out other females and make comments about a hot actress or something because they are always always gorgeous females with amazingly perfect bodies, and i dont have that!!
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female
reader, doppleganger +, writes (3 April 2012):
You can't get it in your head cause you need to love YOU first! If you don't look in the mirror and say damn I look so good! then do something about it. If he wasn't attracted to you he would be sleeping around and you would notice that. So he is choosing to be with YOU! Start loving yourself for who you are.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2012): "Why cant I get this into my head??" Because it's not about him OP, it's about you having to look in the mirror every day and not liking what you see.
Sorry to break it to you OP but there is no such thing as a medical condition that prevents weight loss. There are medical conditions that can make it very, very difficult but absolutely none that completely prevent it.
I have been working out for years, have done years of research and know plenty of people who had tyroid problems, diabetes, syndrome x, hormone imbalance and PCOS who gained weight because of those but worked hard and lost it too.
I bet if you ask your doctor for clarity they will tell you that losing weight is not impossible regardless of your condition. So I would ask them how best to achieve that.
OP your insecurity is based on your weight. You're not going get over it while you don't do anything about that. This is made worse by the fact that you think you can't do anything about it so you've just settled for the idea that most other girls are prettier than you and you're trapped in a body you're not happy with. But that's not the case.
Go back to your doctor and ask them for ways to start losing it, it may take longer because of your condition but quite simply OP it is doable and seeing as your mental condition is almost solely based on your physical attributes then you should work on changing those attributes. Even just starting to lose it will help immensely. You simply won't be able to fool your brain into liking something you really don't and while it remains that way you'll remain painfully insecure and remain feeling inadequate.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (3 April 2012):
 He probably does love your body.... many men prefer chubby women.... I know a lot of them.
My fiance was very happy when I added 15 pounds... and I've noticed that while he finds skinny hot young things attractive... he comes home to me every night... he loves ME... imperfect old flabby crippled ME.... you have to learn that while he may look at others.. he's with YOU loving YOU... wanting YOU.
I used to be nearly 300 pounds size 26/28 US... huge. I had men going after me all the time. I know how you feel however... in order to lose the weight I had gastric bypass surgery (RNY) and it changed my life... not to get different men... but how I feel about ME changed... it was a lot of hard emotional work!
The problem is YOU are not happy with your weight. I am assuming you have either thyroid or PCOS that is causing the weight issues... those are part of you and you have to learn to embrace them and make the best of it.
I can tell you right now that even if you lost all the weight you think you need to lose you would still worry that he didn't love you, because he would still look at other women.... and you would feel inadequate compared to them.
Don't you look at actors and think... NICE... I know that I love say HUGH JACKMAN and those uber toned ABS when they do shots of him on the beach with his kids.... but ya know what... when push comes to shove I want a man with a bit of a belly, some meat on his tush and thick thighs... NONE of which my man had when we started dating (he's gained weight since we've been together as newly happy content men often do) but he is MINE and I loved him skinny or thick.... as your man loves you.
now you just have to learn to love yourself.
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