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I know he cares for me, but at the same time I feel like I'm being used.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 April 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 7 April 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Alright, so its been two months since me and my ex of about two years have broken up. Our breakup was kinda big with me thinking he cheated on me, to me beating him up for it. To him basically dating the girl later that he cheated on me with. It was a huge thing because we just got an apartment together, and we breakup thus me leaving the lease all to him because I obviously couldnt live with him.

Weeks pass and even though heartbroken I move on, and met knew people and chill with my girls while he did the same plus got another gf (the chick i thought he cheated on me with, but he didnt) Then, one night we happen to go to the same party and his gf wasnt there. We both got drunk and basically ended up doing it at his place (it was suppose to be ours). We are now talking to each other, and fooling around. But he still has his gf ( the one i thought he cheated on me with, but not he did cheat on her with me). He says he cares for me and stuff, but refuses to dump his current gf because she is helping him figure himself out. And sadly after all the shit, that has happen to us, I do want him. But it's hard when I feel like the chick on the side (which i feel bad for his gf, but then again she did take my man). We made promises to each other that he wouldnt fuck his girl, and i wouldnt fuck any guys i dated. But still I have to live with the fact he has a gf!!! I dont know if I should leave him alone, and just try to move on again. Or stay there (but not fool around) and try to win back the man that was once mines.

I know he cares for me, but at the same time I feel like I'm being use. he dump me, and I dont wanna be a fool again and get my heartbroken again. But then I dont wanna give up because I really feel like he is the one for me. So am I being stupid? Should i just move on? Or should I try to stay alittle bit longer and hope he will realize I am the woman for him?

View related questions: cheated on me, drunk, heartbroken, move on, my ex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009):

I have been were you are & you are only hurting yourself. You need to move on & put it behind you. I know that its hard to do that, believe me i undastand but dont cause yourself any extra heartache. You deserve beta than this.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2009):

He's stringing you along until his new relationship ends, but even if you get him back, it wont last long because he'll just end up cheating on you again. I'm pretty sure the girl that "took" your man didn't even know he had a girlfriend, just like how his new girlfriend doesn't know he's cheating on her with you. He's no good and you shouldn't be wasting your time on him. Most people can do better.

Another thing, you have no right to beat up somebody, it doesn't matter how many times he cheated on you. If it had been the other way around he'd be in jail. Hitting him makes you an abusive person and no one should have to take that from anybody.

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A female reader, 1xxlaydeexxtitchxx1 United Kingdom +, writes (5 April 2009):

i think that he may b using u if he sed that he has feelings for u but in the same breath say he wont leave his gf then he cant have much feelings for u. i think that u should move on with ur life as mr right will come along in the right time evan if it is him i dont think that it will happen now. i think u also need to put urself in the girlfriend position as he is foolin around with u how wud she feel if she found out (like u did when u thought he was cheating on u ) i think that he really needs to choose who he wonts but carry on with ur life an have a long think if u really think that he is the one for u (also he foolin around with u when he has a girl if it was the other way round he would probs be foolin around with her if he was with u) also she never took him off u she found him like u did i say this because u sed he never cheated on u with her so really its not her fault she saw the same as u did good look x

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