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I just moved into a new rental apartment and now I realise that my creepy stalker of 3 years ago lives here too!

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Question - (5 August 2018) 5 Answers - (Newest, 5 August 2018)
A female Australia age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Help! I’ve just moved rental apartments and have found out (via over hearing something at work) my Facebook stalker/creepy guy lives here too!?

He stalked me three yrs ago and asked me out 3 times over fb, to which I said no! He’s weird and creepy and most females at work find this.

He works in same place as me, different area..I rarely see him at work and he’s left me alone 3yrs now after me saying “no your making me uncomfortable” on Facebook.

I foolishly friended him as he seemed harmless at work and was friends with other colleagues.

Have learnt my lesson and he’s blocked now, for three years.

What if I see him around my new neighbourhood

And it triggers him to obsessing again??

What do I do if I see him??

I like really like my new neighbourhood and had no idea he’d be there..

I ignore him of course..

He’s so creepy and has poor social skills but is quick to anger.

View related questions: at work, facebook, moved in, neighbour, stalking

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (5 August 2018):

Don't panic. If at anytime you feel threatened, call the police. You can get an order of protection from your local police department to make a stalker stay away; or at least make law enforcement aware of any previously-filed complaints.

You can't control where people live; and you can't let them put you on the run and not live in peace.

Keep your distance, even if you feel intimidated don't show it. If he has never actually approached you or interacted with you; you can't live in fear just because you find him "creepy." That's not enough. You say he is quick to anger; be that the case, you must have a history with him somehow. If it's not documented or you've had no cause to file a legal complaint; you live your life, and let him live his.

Be very very careful about how you perceive people, and whether they are an actual threat to you. You will lose credibility with law enforcement; if you just find someone "creepy!" That can be attributed to prejudice, unsubstantiated fear, paranoia, or just a negative-opinion. It doesn't have to be based on fact!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2018):

well if it were at all possible I would look to getting another job in another area.

Not because you have to but because you want to.

Its a mighty fine coincidence that you just happen to be in the same area and in the same workplace.

Maybe this time for you to rethink if you are subconsciously backtracking and as the world is so large there must be a perfect place for you in a perfect area with a perfect life.

Or at least one that doesnt stalk you.

The evidence of stalking is flimsy though but you have the capacity to move if you could determine a better job in a better area.

Having said that I hope he is not the bosses son.

Maybe he was just trying his luck before.

Maybe a rebuff is all it took but if you feel uncomfortable take that as a hint to find greener pastures with less worries.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (5 August 2018):

mystiquek agony auntI can understand your concerns but as youcannotbeserious said, he might be just as freaked out as you are to discover you are in the areas he was in first! I would just try to enjoy your new place and just live your life. IF he would approach you then just make it clear you are not interested in being friends or anything else. He didn't bother you after you made it clear so unless he really is some sort of weirdo the odds he isn't going to approach you again. Most people can take a hint and don't want to have any hassles. He has left you alone at work so I imagine he will do the same now in the neighborhood. I wish you all the best. Try not to worry about "what ifs" unless its proven that you need to worry.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (5 August 2018):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntDeep breath and chill.

While I understand your concern, given your previous history with this guy, there are a lot of "what ifs" in your post. There is no saying you WILL bump into him and, even if you do, you can ignore him, same as you do at work. There is ABSOLUTELY no saying he will start anything again, just because he sees you in his neighbourhood. After all, you probably still occasionally see each other at work but it seems he has stayed away from you since you told him he was making you uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable as it is, knowing you are sharing the same neighbourhood, this will only be as big a deal as you allow it to be. Remember HE may feel every bit as bad knowing YOU are in the neighbourhood HE was in first.

In your shoes I would just carry on doing what you are doing and not let this spoil what sounds like a good move for you. IF (and it is a very big IF) he starts anything, then tell him again, very firmly, that he is making you uncomfortable and that he needs to leave you alone. He took the message on board the first time so there is no reason to think he will stalk you again.

Enjoy your new home.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2018):

Please don’t hate on me, just need advice Thankyou

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