A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:well, my Bf keep cheating, dating chatting on facebook. he denied that we are actually together once. i walked out and i came back to him.it's like there's something dragging me to him all the time. He hurts me badly, he doesn't care, he chat with that woman almost everyday. I had enough but i can't walk out am scared of being on my own. I work for his company and i am gonna have to leave my job if i leave him. I am hurting so much, but it hurts more when i leave. Help me, advice me how to walk away from him. I just don't know.
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female
reader, Emaz help +, writes (29 April 2010):
 it seems that he wants the best of both worlds...you AND the single life. make him choose which and if he hurts you again then leave him. You don't deserve to be cheated on, find someone who wont
A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (29 April 2010):
 If you are that dependent on him, the first thing you need to do is look for another job. Do it in secret if you have to, but having some financial security will make leaving easier.
No matter what you may feel, you don't deserve the way he's treating you. You may think it'll hurt more to leave, but once you do finally get out of there you will feel a million times better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2010): I was once in a very similar situation. My boyfriend at the time was a cheat and a mental abuser. I had no self confidence and couldn't break free. I went back 3 times before I finally had the courage to leave. The thing that got me through it was a realisation that I needed to start loving myself. I got a job in a bar, where I made new friends. It also kept me busy in the evenings. Friends and willpower got me through it. Being on your own is scary, but it's better than being in a bad relationship. When the bad times outweigh the good then you know it's time to call it a day. Good luck... be strong.
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (29 April 2010):
"it's like there's something dragging me to him all the time"
That would be your lack of self-esteem. Look at this rationally sweetie, why would anyone stay with someone that always hurts them? That is not love. You, as you say, are afraid of being alone, so much so that you would choose to be with someone who abuses you over it. Why would that be, unless you weren't comfortable with your own self?
Perhaps if you don't have the strength to leave him for good, or don't have the support of strong family and friends, some counselling could help. Have a look at the relationship advice charity "Relate" and see if you can see someone there.
But know this, you can turn things around. Get out of the bad relationship, get a new job, build on your confidence and eventually get yourself in to a wonderful relationship. You just need to realise it's possible, and make the decision to go for it.
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