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I just cant seem to like girls my age!

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 January 2012) 9 Answers - (Newest, 17 February 2012)
A male United States age 36-40, *nergizerbunny writes:

So in a weird flip of the coin i have recently started seeing older women. I am 24 and im seeing a lady who is 34 and another who is 42. i have fooled around with a lady who was 63 last week. i really dont know what it is. i find them attractive and without realizing it when it talk to them they find me attractive as well. I am a young professional, i work as a systems anaylist and my job requires me to sometimes do house calls for customers. during these house calls because of the area i am in there are a lot of older women and computer analysis can take a while so it leaves lots of time for us to chit chat while im working in their homes which has led to numbers being exchanged or dinner invites and such. I know things wouldent work with even the 34 year old but i enjoy it so much. At the same time it saddens me because i would love to have a REAL relationship with a girl my age but i cant stand them and their stupid conversations. I served in the military since i was 17 and just got out last year. i guess because of my experiences i don't get intellectually stimulated by girls my age here.

do i just get past not liking girls my age in order to have a successful relationship?

View related questions: military, my ex

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A male reader, energizerbunny United States +, writes (17 February 2012):

energizerbunny is verified as being by the original poster of the question

energizerbunny agony auntWell its kind of out of control now. i dont know how to get out of the situation without hurting her. shes very much in love with me and tells me every 5 minutes. she comes over almost every night although she is wonderful and takes care of me i just feel that by her being around all the time its killing the chances that will ever meet anyone else. i tried breaking up with her one night, she cried and left and then a few days later came back saying she just wanted to be friends and then a few days later things were back to normal for her again...so idk...i thought about just dating someone else and letting her find out that way she could leave me and i would be the bad one so she wouldent be too hurt

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (17 February 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntNO it won’t happen with a woman that doesn’t want or can’t have more children.

34 is still young to have kids…. The issue is that she already has 4 and may not want more… but a single 34 year old probably does want kids… so don’t discount the entire age range because of one woman.

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A male reader, energizerbunny United States +, writes (17 February 2012):

energizerbunny is verified as being by the original poster of the question

energizerbunny agony auntAnother thing i forgot to mention is that the 34 year old has 4 kids. one of them is an 18 year old. thats really the thing that bothers me. you see id love to have my own children some day and that wont happen with someone with a pre-started family.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (20 January 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntwhen my fiance was 24 I was 37... I see no issues with being with older women.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2012):

I think your job has thrown you into situations with older women and you have had time to chat properly with them. So it might be a recent discovery that older women can be attractive, funny, intelligent, confident ect. Something of a revelation to some young men! But i might add that not all older women are like that anymore than all younger women are boring or Sillyheads.

Im sure eventually you will meet a girl around your own age that you will consider your intellectual equal and love will flourish. So try and make sure you are leaving yourself open to the prospect and keep an open mind regarding younger women. In the meantime enjoy the more mature company you are keeping, there is nothing wrong with that. But do make sure you set boundaries with them before hand and they know you arent looking for anything long term. That way no one gets hurt.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2012):

There is no reason why it wouldn't work with the 34 year old I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 35 we have been together 11 months now and we get on great no argument the 10 year age gap doesn't bother us so I would think about that you are not weird for liking older women everyone is diffrent

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A male reader, TrancedRhythmEar Saudi Arabia +, writes (20 January 2012):

TrancedRhythmEar agony auntDude older women are the biz. I, myself, mix well with them. Why? Same reason as you. I dont find a lot of conversations stimulating with women my age. they drink, they f***, repeat. Older women have more life experiences that we can learn from and not to mention they are also matured and know how to both take care of a man in the bedroom and outside. If an older woman is what appeals to you, go with it. Its about maturity level and personality. Oh and its not odd you ended with a 63 year old. Had it not been for her son in law passed out in the bedroom, I would have ended up sleeping with a 65 year old. Youre building confidence man by getting in good with these women.. keep at it and im sure youll find a nice lady.

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A female reader, PeanutButter United States +, writes (20 January 2012):

PeanutButter agony auntYou can have a real relationship with an older woman, just as you could if you found a younger woman on your wavelength too - they are out there, you just have to find them!

I agree with the other poster that you should perhaps find one woman to focus your attentions on no matter what her age and just enjoy her for who she is no matter what.

If older ladies are your thing, then you go for it! We are all into different things and hey, if it works, it works! No one ever said you had to date in a certain age bracket and, in fact, older women have a better libido than younger women and younger men have a better libido than older men, or so it has been said, and so older women and younger men seem like a great fit to me!!

Good luck!

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A male reader, Kyle007 United States +, writes (20 January 2012):

Nothing wrong with older women. At least you enjoy the intellectual appeal and you are not shallow.

I think it may be easier to straighten out your head about the whole thing if you could decide on ONE older woman. You want a real relationship. Its not going to happen if you are playing the field like this.

That being said, if you are looking to marry and have children, women your age will suit you better. And in the long term, they will become more mature anyway.

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