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I hit it off with my builder but now he's blowing cold. What happened?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 October 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 29 October 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

A builder came to do some work on my house. We hit it off straight away. We had so much in common. We exchanged numbers and have chatted everyday since. Saturday he sent me a text asking what I was up to. I said I was just home bored I invited him over to watch a film. It was such a lovely night. We had a great chat watched the film and had a cuddle throughout the film. We had a kiss. We did not have sex.

When he spoke that night he said next time I see you we will do this and that... Thing is since then I've not heard from him. I asked him to send me a text to let me know he got home ok. But he did not and I sent him a text in the morning he has not responded either. I know that he read the message because I got a delivery report saying the message had been read.

I've deleted his number so I am not tempted to make a fool of myself by texting him again.

What do you think has happened?

View related questions: exchanged numbers, text

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (29 October 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntAgree with all the posts that said he may be taken.

also maybe he just wanted sex

and agree that if he calls or texts again how you respond will set the tone.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2013):

You will hear from him again. He will just call or text you out of the blue. That's when you set the bar. You either welcome him with open arms. They will be informing him he can treat you like this and he knows he will always be welcomed back. Or just tell him how he made you feel and move on. Or better still what goes around comes around. Ignore him too! Don't dwell on it. It's his lost. You obviously felt comfortable and liked him to invite him over. Good luck!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 October 2013):

Honeypie agony auntIt could be many reasons:

1. he has a Wife, GF or partner.

2. You didn't put out.

3. He decided he didn't want to pursue it.

My guess is #1 to be honest.

I agree with Daisy, set the BAR a little higher for yourself. If you click with a guy go out on dates, save the cuddles for when you ACTUALLY KNOW him a lot better. Having great chats is lovely, but TAKE the time to get to know a fella. Make sure he wants to be "seem" with you out and about (most married men would avoid that or take you WAY WAY out of the way for the date).

I think it was smart to delete the number.

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A female reader, Daisy_Daisy United Kingdom +, writes (28 October 2013):

Daisy_Daisy agony auntOnly he knows what happened, but I agree that he's not keen for whatever reason. Good idea to delete his number, though you might hear from him in a few days when he fancies a snuggle (it has only been 2 days...). Think about how you might respond.

Unless you're looking for casual relationships, I think that in future you should let a man ask you out on a date to somewhere nice. Snuggling up on the sofa on a first date (or whatever) isn't setting the bar very high if you're looking for a boyfriend, and could give the wrong impression.

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