A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for more than 5 years but but I have felt our relationship has stalled and we are more like brother and sister. I love him alot but can't picture myself with him even though he constantly talks about having a family together.Another guy has been in the back of my mind during our relationship but now my feelings for this other person has become stronger than ever. I haven't seen him for a few years but can't stop thinking about him. I feel we had a connection that my boyfirend and I are missing. Should I make contact with him and get my feeling off my chest? Should I tell my boyfriend? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou have definately made me see the bigger picture. Thank you so much for your advice I appreciate it more than you can know.
A
female
reader, LauraE  +, writes (5 July 2007):
I think you are thinking about the other guy purely because you aren’t happy with your boyfriend. It’s very easy to look back nostalgically at what you had, or might have had, with another person. The rose-tinted specs come out, and the more you think about him, the better he gets! He is a kind of fantasy figure, and is best left alone at the moment. I agree with flower girl, there is nothing to be gained from telling your boyfriend that you are thinking of someone else. You tell your loved-one things when there is something they can do to change the situation, not when all you will do is hurt him. And here’s a good example - You should talk to him about the way your relationship has become like brother and sister. Maybe he would love to change this, and why not give him a chance? You loved him for all this time, you are good friends, so you have a lot going for you. If you can make a change with the romance side of things, it might make all the difference.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (5 July 2007):
 You say you love you boyfriend, but are you in love with him?
If not then it might be wise to disolve the relationship as it is not fair on either of you to carry on, especially when he has been talking about having a family.
Don't think personally you need to tell him about having feelings about someone else because that will not achieve anything other then cause him pain.
You are both young enough to start again if this relationship is not for you.
Take care.xx.
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