A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am seventeen and need some help. I have several problems. First, i have really liked this girl for about three years now, but she says she doesn't feel the same. I understand this but can't get over her, because she wants to be friends and is so nice. I mix up her kindness for flirting and i end up making a fool out of myself. She even said she finds it hard to make up her mind about going out with me. Like sometimes she really wants to, but others she dislikes the idea. How do i deal with this?Secondly, when i finally start developing feelings for a girl other than the one previously mentioned, she has a steady boyfriend of two years. I think my problem is that i want girls who don't want me, and i don't like the girls who want me. Any advice?Lastly, i am a little shakey, and recently found out it is a nerve disease. I also can't control my sweating most of the time. This has me afraid to get very close to any girls i don't already know. Any help?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): Confidence is key as everyone has mentioned but just don't mix confidence up with cockiness and arrogance, those are just fronts to hide insecurities. Dating and hell just chatting with girls will probably make you feel more at ease so it is a good idea, just don't be leading girls on make sure they know when its just casual. I was in a similar situations to yours and I can say my girl never decided to start dating me, I tried everything, gave her my all, tried to recreate all her fantasies and she just continued with the wishy washy stuff. I think she just liked being liked by someone. Where you are is a very hard place but honestly I feel you might never get anywhere with this girl, your case may be different, but don't spend all your time pining after her, have a little fun get out there you may end up meeting someone you really like, who genuinely likes you back and is ready to give it a go.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): It sounds like this girl is really messin with ur head! If i was u i wouldnt make a move on this girl she clearly doesnt know what she wants. If she wants u let her make the 1st move hopefully when she is no longer goin ot with her boyfriend. Secondly we all want what we cant have its all about temptation bt u should know where the boundries are. If theres a situation where u think u could get hurt u should stop nd think about what ur gettin urself in2. Think about how u would feel if tht was ur girlfriend. Last bt not least gettin 2 close 2 any person can make me clam up nd get all sweaty never mind a boy. I try not 2 get 2 close 2 start off with untill i feel relaxed enough. I really dnt do advice so if u think what i am writin is a load of ballocks let me no! Best of luck with ur situation!
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A
male
reader, Enrique +, writes (1 May 2008):
Hey there!I have had a very similar situation to this, and let me tell you it is not easy to deal with when hormones are raging. But you can get through this kind of thing.You can't just force yourself to like girls just because they like you, but that doesn't make it wrong to go out on dates with them. Any experience is still just that: experience. You learn more and more from dating and become more confident.Confidence eliminates the need to worry about sweating and your shaking problem, because you will be comfortable with yourself in a social setting. Girls also like when you are confident because they feel more secure like that, so the girl's outlook on you may change.So my advice is to just get out there and maybe just go out on a date! You don't have to be in a serious relationship to just go out on a date with another. Hope it all goes well!
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A
female
reader, RealLifeCowgirl +, writes (1 May 2008):
Don't worry about being nervous and sweaty I have a conditon that makes my hands really sweaty and I was always self concuss about holding my bf hand but he says he couldn't care less. Just be yourself and the right person will love you for you. And the whole girl issue, start talking to other girls and broaden your horizons there are plenty of fish in the sea. And you never know sense you are talking to other girls she might decide that she wants to date you. It sounds like the girl is playing hard to get but don't rely on that. Start talking to other girls. Girls love confidence but not to much so be confident in yourself and you will meet that right person for you.
If you need anymore advice feel free to ask?
Jenna
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