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I have this big phobia of pain...the idea of feeling that long hard penis.........frightens me!!!!!

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 April 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 13 April 2008)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hey guys,I'm too scared of making love with my boyfriend. I enjoy massaging my pussy but when it comes to poke my fingers in that hole, it gives me shivers. I have heard that it is very painful and as thus never even tried that, so taking that long hard dick............aaahh.

Can anyone help me with whole procedure, and is there anything to prevent that pain as i have this big phobia of pain? Even i want to reach that ecstacy at least through my fingers....help me out...Thanks.

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A female reader, Lil girl lost United Kingdom +, writes (13 April 2008):

Hey i know what you mean i take it your a virgin if you are then im not going to lie it does hurt but it wont hurt as much as it did me i was 11 when i lost mine anyway best tip is to rub yourself until wet then use some k y gel and tell your boyfriend to take it slow and easy have fun because sex is amazing x

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A female reader, LethalInjection-x United Kingdom +, writes (11 April 2008):

LethalInjection-x agony auntBy allowing the fear to take over you worsen the situation.

Before you can even think of inserting anything you need to be relaxed, completely. Your body's response to it will depend on whether you feel comfortable, and if you're not, you simply tense up, and yes, I know, it hurts.

I agree with the other answer, you should take a look at the link, but it's probably not as bad as that. I was in the same situation as you a while ago, but now I can have sex comfortably, it was all down to the fear of it.

If you haven't already, try using a tampon, that really does help you get used to things. Then gradually work your way up, as previously suggested. Try using a lubricant, it will be a lot easier.

But saying that, you shouldn't see it as a chore, do it when you feel comfortable. On your own, relax and take your time.

Don't think about sex until you've conquered your own fear, it's nowhere near as bad as you think.

Good luck x

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (10 April 2008):

LazyGuy agony aunthttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus

Does this sound like what you are experiencing?

If you are "just" afraid of pain but not as serious as the above link, then a simple trick might be to just masturbate with something small first. Can you use tampons for instance?

As for painful, well obviously as a male I cannot comment on how bad it can be, but it don't hurt for all women.

Part of the pain is from any remaining part of your hymen being broken, you can tear this yourselve if you still have it or even get it done by a doctor who can cut it (some hymen's need to be cut but this is rare).

The actuall penetration part can hurt simply because you body ain't used to it. Start small and work your way up, it is almost like excersing a muscle.

If your case is as extreme as the above get proffesional help.

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