A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay this is a bit complicated but I'm going to try to explain the best way I can. I'm in love with a girl. And although there is no way I can find out (you'll have to trust me on this one) I am fairly certain that she feels the same way as I do. The problem is that because of the way our unique situations stand at the moment absolutely nothing can happen. Thing is, a little while down the line I really think that it might be able to, but I dont think something like this would be able to happen until years into the future and some other things have sorted themselves out more. Thing is, I'm so madly in love with her and can't get her out of my head I need help in dealing with a potentially long wait and what happens if we get there and she doesnt feel the same way about me anymore? I dont think id be able to cope with that! Help!? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (25 May 2007):
 Hi there,
You don't say how old you are, but I am assuming you are both quite young.
I would not worry yourself right now about something that may or may not happen in the future, enjoy the relationship now for what it is, not for what it may be in the future,(if there actually is a relationship,you haven't been too clear on that point). Let things progress naturally, life would not be much fun if we knew everything that was going to happen to us every day, and there is no garauntee things will go to plan for you. You are assuming that her feelings will change, when in fact it may well be you that has a change of heart, you may meet someone else while waiting for her, you never know.
So live for the day, and stop obsessing about tommorrow!
Good luck.
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (25 May 2007):
 Two things dude. Firstly, you need to date other girls in the meanwhile. Relationship management takes practice. You want to be ready to have a good solid relationship with her in the future? Well, starting dating other girls now, so taht all the mistake you need to make to learn the right thing to do, and who you are, will be done before you hook up with her.
Next, it is OK to have feelings for her, but it is not OK for you to become NEEDY for her. That neediness will kill any chance of LONG TERM attraction for you. Doing the above suggestion will help with the neediness.
Lastly, I think you should be wary. You have already assigned SO MUCH to this one girl, and yet to actually date her. I think you built it up in your head. She may be a great person, does not mean she will be a great partner for you. That being said, make sure you give her the opportunity to EARN your affections, and not just give them to her blindly.
-FBK
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