A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so putting it simply, I'm struggling to get over my ex. We were only together a year but he treated me differently to any other man I have ever met. There were difficult circumstances, hence the split but it's been 3 months now and I'm finding it hard to move on with my life. Since we split he has gone from strength to strength with his work, has dated a few women, is on fantastic terms with his ex (whom I know he still has feelings for) and is generally getting on well with everything. I on the other hand have not moved on at all, I'm still in hope that he'll come back to me. I have tried to move on, I've moved house, changed my phone numbers, deleted him from all social networking sites and cut myself off from our few mutual friends so I have no reminders of him at all, yet he is still the first person I think of every morning and the last before I go to bed. I've been in love before but it was something different with this man. I need to move on with my life but how do I let go and why can I not seem to be able to?
View related questions:
his ex, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (8 December 2012):
 3 months is still only a short time since the break-up and what you are feeling is completely normal. You must have had very strong feelings for him.
It certainly sounds you've done just about everything you can. However, something that stands out in your post is that you are still keeping tabs on him. You know who and when he is dating and I think that is part of what is holding you back. You are still holding a torch for him in hopes that he will call you. In short, if you are truly ready to let go, you must stop keeping tabs on him... what ever source of information you are using to find out what he is doing, please let it go.
I think you need to start getting out and meeting new guys. There are many decent men your age who are looking for love. Why not avail yourself to that. Get out and live life. Explore new opportunities and social events. Find happiness in other friendships and people.
This won't cure your longing for your boyfriend overnight, but eventually you will find someone who will sweep you off your feet. You may also learn new things about yourself and find new things you are passionate about. You are at a ripe time to discover new things about yourself.
When you feel bad or lonely, acknowledge the feelings. But know that better days are ahead and eventually YOU will find someone who will stick with you through thick and thin.
Good luck.
Eddie
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2012): It can be tough to get over someone you felt you had a connection with, but there is a massive presumption you are making. That his life is going from strength to strength. You simply do no know that and presuming he is fine, is making you feel worse as you feel the relationship meant little to him. But unless you can step into his mind, don't presume what he is thinking and thus making you feel worse.
I had a similar case where I thought my ex was fine and didn't think of me. Did the whole no contact thing, left the social group we both attended and was convinced he barely remembered me. This just made me feel bad. But lo and behold I got a text from him asking me how I was. I realised I was stupid to presume he never thought of me.
Also time will heal. Go out, meet your friends, keep yourself busy and you will get there. If thay feels odd, then fake it til you make it. Time will heal and you will meet someone who will blow this guy out the water.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2012): I'm sorry to hear you're still hurting from the split. Three months isn't a long time. The rawness is still alive. I think you have been incredibly mature cutting him out of your life. I experienced a similar thing and it gets easier to deal with but there will always be a part of you that loves him.
Keep doing what you're doing. Surround yourselves with positivity as much as possible. But if you get upset, let yourself be upset. Just remember to then pick yourself up again. Soon you'll catch the positivity, and you're life will move on.
...............................
|
