A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm a freshman in highschool and as you would assume, I have a huge crush on a particular girl. She's really nice and we've been good friends for a long time now but it's only recently that I decided to confess my feelings to her (via text... if that matters) It went like this..She has been stressing over some douche who she claims is purposely trying to make her jealous/feel like shit.She CLAIMS that with him it's "not just sex" and how he's different (even though he's being childish by trying to hurt her emotionally)So I concernedly texted her asking what was up. One thing led to another and I told her how I liked her laugh, and how cute I thought she was. All of which were followed by something along the lines of "wow :)" from her. Then I slipped up a bit and made things weird by accidentally making her think I was going to ask her out and she said."I don't think I could handle it if you did that so soon"I assume this is because she's still attatched to her ex-boyfriend because they had sex. I'm not sure if she is implying that it'd be okay later or not. She said that she "Never said she'd say no and she never said she'd say yes."This makes me nervous as I really like her and even though it's her decision in the end, I'd REALLY prefer it if she chose me.So I need some pointers on how to win some points with her. For the past couple days we had been hanging out for an hour or two after school and she ALWAYS laughs and smiles when she's with me.But she still seems to have feelings for the other, "douchier" guy... I seem to have what people refer to as "Nice Guy Syndrome" I've been trying my best to try and create attraction by using tips from the internet but I'm not sure if it's working...I really don't want to lose my opportunity with this girl, because the countless other girls that I've tried to win over have either been toying with me or have chosen other "douchebag" guys they then end up getting their hearts broken..I've tried to apply these techniques but they require you to be well.. Not myself... Because when I'm with her, I really can't help myself. I just get all caught up in the moment and act like myself..To describe myself, I'd have to say I'm like Michael Cera... In, well... Every movie he's ever been in..So to sum it up...How can I create attraction without turning into the very douchebags I despise? And.. You know anything else that might help me...
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crush, her ex, jealous, text, the internet Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 May 2011):
 Be yourself, don't go "douche" because she "seems" to like douches.
The ball is in her court now. Respect that she might need some time to get over her ex.
Be there for her, but don't push the issue. If she keeps "ignoring" what you told her, I think you need to consider that she might not be into you as in a BF/GF way. Then it's just HER loss.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2011): Continue to be yourself man. Forget people and their norms and "how to game a girl". If she doesnt like you for who you are, then you're not meant to be. Nice guys finish last they always do... but its real genuine quality girls who will like this, not the girls who will not even talk to you unless you're some evil selfish guy who behaves weird. She needs to get over her ex, until then i wouldn't make a move because you want to make sure she is ready to be with you. When she is, charm the hell out of her. Be kind, respectful, generous and im sure youll find ways to do it. Dont give her too much right away tho... ease into treating her right and a good way to test that out is well, by dating. Taking her out and getting to know her. Good luck bud.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2011): I don't even have to read your whole story to give you the best possible advice ever (but I did). I'm just going to be honest, I have been through a lot with the opposite sex and let me give you a little insight into how girls operate. We want, lust, pray over the guy that is popular the guy that everyone loves, nice car, lots of money, truth be told only one person can end up with that guy and nine times outta ten he's not meant for anyone (probably because he so self absorbed). But please don't give up and please know that all though it may seem like it will never come, nice guys do finish last. And you remaining loyal supportive and genuine throughout your life will attract the right girl for you and you won't have to worry about losing your opportunity with anyone because when it's the right person you don't have to be anything but you. She will care for you no matter what because she likes you for you. Stay positive, it's not easy but in the long run, I truly believe it will ultimately be the difference between marring a soulmate and getting a divorce. Besides you're young don't worry about this, you have plenty of time:)
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