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I have led this guy on, just to get me over my ex. I don't really like him though. How can I let him down gently?

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 September 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 26 September 2011)
A female age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Last week I followed some really bad advice and it's got me in trouble. A friend said to get over my ex I should casually try flirting with other guys. So I did this and a guy sent me a message asking for my number, I asked for my girls advice cus I dont really like him but didn't want to hurt his feelings. They suggested I should give him a shot so I did. The thing is I've thought things over and I don't think I've done the right thing. Turns out he really likes me and I thinks it's unfair on him if I go through with the plan cus I'm still not over my ex and I don't like him so I'd be lying to him. I want to tell him I don't like like him but I don't want to hurt his feelings. He's never had a gf so I think he would take it badly and I feel so bad that I led him on especially as my ex did the same to me. How can I let him down without him hating me ?

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A male reader, Odds United States +, writes (26 September 2011):

Odds agony auntBe polite, but firm. The single most important thing is that, in trying to be gentle, you must not leave him with the false hope that he might have another chance later. You have to end it for good, and you have to be sure he understands that, or he will not be able to start the process of getting over the rejection. Nothing hurts worse than false hope.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (26 September 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntDon't come straight out and tell him that you don't like him, because it is going to hurt his feelings and bruise his ego. At the same time you are not interested in him and you cannot help how you feel. The best way to deal with this is to be truthful but without hurting his feelings. Just be honest and tell him that nothing can happen because you are not over your ex and you need time alone. Telling him that makes it less personal because then he knows that it is nothing to do with him that you still want to be with another guy. Just tell him that and you will be sorted. Yes he may be disappointed that he didn't have a chance with you but he will get over it soon enough.

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A female reader, angelDlite United Kingdom +, writes (25 September 2011):

angelDlite agony auntwhy should he HATE you? just let this fizzle out before it even starts, there is nothing wrong with being honest with him and just let him know that you are not really interested in anything at the moment because you are not over your ex. he will probably be disappointed but he will get over it. don't lead him on any further though because that might lead to him getting hurt

x

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