A
female
age
22-25,
*otnormallifebillie
writes:i fancy my bestfriends boyfriend and i talk to him alot and im getting emotions alot over him im falling for him but my bestfriend is in love with him. a couple of months ago they broke up and he was talking to me he flirted and everything we would talk for hours on end he ment the world to me and then he got back with her. then i met this boy and we started dating and i really got attached then my bestfriends boyfriend was worried about me because i started to become sad and i felt like my relationship with the boy was going to fast so i stopped it and my best friends boyfriiend broke up with my best friend and now they are back together but were still close and im getting feelings for him again and i dont know what to do so please explain to me how to deal with it and what to do about it
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (1 March 2015):
 I agree with Honeypie!
You are young. Your emotions are going haywire, and it takes time to learn the art of placing them under your intellectual command and using reason and loyalty (another emotion) to guide you.
Your best friend is a treasure. She is worth a great deal. If you are HER best friend, you will equate flirting with her boyfriend like flirting with your brother, or your father, or an infant baby. As in, he should be instantly no longer eligible. It takes discipline to condition yourself to react to him that way.
To date someone who is even an ex to your best friend is tricky, and I'd not recommend it UNLESS your best friend has moved on, fallen head over heels for someone else, AND your best friend has given complete blessing to it.
AND - you need to be loyal to who you are dating. Cheating is not cool. If you're not 100% for the guy you're with, then do not be with him. It's not fair, and it's amoral. I know you are young, so maybe you don't realize. You have to decide what kind of person you will be. Are you a cheater who steals friends' guys?
This is about you. What kind of person do you choose to be as you grow up? The noble kind, I hope. The world needs more of those.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (1 March 2015):
Going after a best FRIEND'S BF is not cool, flirting with him and leaning on him, not cool either. YOU wouldn't want YOUR best friend to do that TO YOU, ever - so don't DO it yourself.
STEP away from the guy. Don't chat, flirt or anything with him, IF you are currently texting back and forth with him (or IM/Facebook message/whatever) CUT IT OUT. If he asks why, tell him it's not the RIGHT thing to do as he is DATING YOUR best friend.
He is DATING her because he REALLY likes her. He is chatting/flirting with you because:
1. you allow it
2. it makes him feel good (ego rub)
3. he is not very mature and doesn't seem to think flirting with you and chatting with you is not REALLY a good idea when in a relationship WITH someone else. So he is IN FACT a bit disrespectful towards YOU, but more so towards YOUR best friend.
I know you don't want to hear this, but he doesn't LIKE you the same way he likes HER. And JUST because YOU develop feelings for HIM doesn't mean he will for you, OR that YOUR feelings are more important then THOSE of your BEST friend.
LET those two sort out their own problem, don't get in the middle.
Honestly at your age BF can come and go, but REALLY GOOD friends can be THERE for you for a life time, so think carefully.
You already know it's not really the smartest thing to do, OR you wouldn't have written your post on here.
SO USE that common sense and put it to use.
This is GIRL code rule #1. DON'T date a friend's BF or ex. They are absolutely OFF limits.
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