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I have fallen for a guy who will be released from prison soon, need some advice on this situation, should I be involved or not?

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Question - (3 January 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 20 January 2009)
A female United States age , *tarlight45 writes:

Hello,

I have 2 boys, and have been in a loveless relationship for 17 years. I only married because I felt sorry for my husband. Thought I could help him. DON'T DO THIS, ladies!

Here's my HUGE problem.. BEFORE I married, I was not a Christian, and met a guy in one of my jail time days. I wrote to him for 5 years. I had a life changing experience, and became a christian. I received a letter from him with the wrong name on the letterhead. It was to another girl who was sending him money. I never sent him any. I told him I was "pulling out" and I stopped writing him. I met this other guy, like that next year. Got married,and went to church with him, then he stopped going. Became critical, and beat me up, and down with the bible, when he got mad. After 17 years of condemnation, I am SO GONE!!

NOW. Two months after I separate, this guy in prison gets back in touch with me. I have went to visit him, and have re-attached myself and feeling for him again. He said he never meant to hurt me, and wants to be with me when he gets out. We are honest with each other, and know all. I have built a trust again, and he is being released from prison around June. I am divorcing my husband, and want to make a life with this guy. I am in love with him. I am not sure if this is the right direction for me? Does anyone have any info. on long term prison relationships?

Thanks

View related questions: christian, in jail, money

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2009):

Dear lady,

You do need some prof. help, not ANOTHER ABUSER. You are a relationship/love addict, that's why you jump from one guy to another. HAVE YOU REALLY HAD SOME TIME WITH YOURSELF??

I seems you are neglecting yourself, and not loving yourself enough, like you depend on guys being in your life and also having Dangerous guys around you. You depend on what other guys are telling you, like they know your real value-NO THEY DON'T. You are not okey and that's why you attract such Abusers, that's why you like abusers because of the way they make you feel, even if it's abusing you and belittling you.

Here's a good website and article that gives an insight to your struggles: http://gettingpastyourpast.wordpress.com/2008/01/24/the-abusive-and-semi-abusive-relationship/

Do not step into another relationship before fully understanding YOURSELF, WHO YOU ARE, WHAT YOU DESERVE AND WHO ARE HEALTHY. Become healthy, and you will attract only healthy people.

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A female reader, 48years  +, writes (3 January 2009):

48years agony auntMy poor cousin got stuck in a prison relationship. She married the guy and had his son. The guy was in and out of prison for 10 years.

She filed for divorce and he sent threatening letters to her about killing her. He even drew pictures of just how he'd go about it. He got extra time for that: 12 years more!

When he gets out, she'll have to change her name etc. I won't be able to see her.

Please, be very careful whom you marry or get attached to. Mama used to say ,"Better to be alone than in an unhappy marriage." She also said, "Make sure you think carefully before you say 'I do". Think not once, not 100, but 1,000 times!"

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