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Would it be okay to date my mother's half-sister's son?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 January 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 3 January 2009)
A female Australia age 41-50, *pple green writes:

i was wondering if it would be inappropriate to date my mothers half sisters son ???? we meet once when we were 14 and now again 14 years later??? would nt the blood relation be considered more distant that first cousins because of the half sister factor

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A female reader, Priyalee United States +, writes (3 January 2009):

I agree with you Nitram Blue except I feel that love is stronger than sex and would cause more feelings of guilt. It should take a very strong love and much discussion before any two people decide to take the next step towards a sexual relationship. The odds of a child born of two first cousins is the same as a child being born to a women over the age of 30. Also the bible specifically mentions which familial relations are considered incest and first cousins is not one of them.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2009):

You technically "half first cousins" so not too closely related. Often first cousins get together so if they can I don't see why you two couldn't. The main problem would probably by public and family perception.

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A female reader, Priyalee United States +, writes (3 January 2009):

It's okay but be prepared for friends and family to be unaccepting. My sister is dating our first cousin. It grossed me out at first but then I researched it. It's not illegal, more people do it than realized, and the chances of your kids having birth defects is slim. Their is a website on it I think it is called cousinlove or something like that. Good luck!

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A male reader, NITRAM BLUE Philippines +, writes (3 January 2009):

NITRAM BLUE agony auntSad to say, you still share the same DNA blue print with your mother's half sister son. And he is your 1st cousin.

But tell you what, I have the same feelings like what you are feeling right now. I have a 2nd cousin, 39 y.o., she had a hysterectomy a few years back and she is a bomb shell.

Heck with her hysterectomy, we can have sex 7/24 and there will be no worries of any in-bred birth defects. But this reason is not justifiable.

Biblical verses justifying family marriages between Israelites, as ordered by God to keep Israel pure, is not enough for you to have sex with a relative. It belongs solely to the Israelites, and not even true for the Israelis. Therefore, such could not be a sound basis "for doing" your cousin.

My cousin and I go out frequently, we have some fun and I even slept over at her place, a few times, very remote from everyone. We sleep in the same room, she is on the bed and I slept on a mat beside her bed. With the lights out, we could have made the nights longer. But being alone with her with her physical attractiveness is not a license for me "to make love" to her.

I like her very much. No, I love her very much. But everything is platonic and sexless. Not that I wouldn't like to have sex with her. Definitely, I would and it would be fetishly erotic, wouldn't it? But I mustn't.

But of course, we have to have our sensibilities straight. To hell with the law about incest lets go to the present day norms observed. Love has no bounderies but norms sets limits. Norms are observed by rational people and that separates us from the animals.

Sex for animals is for propagation of its species. Sex for us, humans, is to express love and lust but the expression must conform with the existing norms. A norm simply ask the question - is it normal?

I suffer because I have to follow a norm. It is better to suffer the pains of non expression of love than to agonize over the consequences of what a forbidden love might bring. I love my cousin more than any person I have previously known. But to have sex with her, guilt will follow - maybe it will not be mine, maybe it will be hers.

Sex is inferior than love. You can love a person and feel good all the time, afterwards, which is untrue with sex with a cousin.

If both of you (you and your cousin) are ready to suffer any unforseen and known consequences - like gossips within your community, birth defects because of inbreeding, conflict between family members because of the acts - go ahead. Love is free. Love is after all, something the angels fear to thread.

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