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I have done something I could regret for the rest of my life. Please help me.

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 August 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 15 August 2009)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I know there are a million of these questions out there but i just want some advice for my situation. see I met this guy at a school dance 5 years ago in yr 8. It turned out that he caught my bus home from school every day and we got talking and i started to really like him.(i went to a private girls school and he went to the boys school across the road so that was our only chance to talk back then) Then 1 week before i was due to start year 10, my mum told me i would be starting the new term at another school... 7 hours away.

I didnt have his email or phone number so it wasnt until nearly 18 months later that I got in touch with him again through a mutual friend. as soon as I started talking to him again, I realised that i still liked him... I went to visit him a few times and told him how i felt but it never seemed to go anywhere. see I'm in love with this guy now and I was getting so frustrated with the situation cause I had tried to go out with other guys but it never worked out cause I kept thinking of this guy. a couple of nights ago he asked me for relationship advice about another girl. the night after, he told me that he had decided to give up on trying cause he was sick of being rejected.

then last night, we were talking and I just got so sick of being cool with just being friends with him. I asked him not to text or call me for a while so I could sort myself out and try to get over him. I told him it was because every time I had a shot at a happy relationship, I'd ruin it because I knew their was someone out there i'd rather be with. I now regret saying it so much and it was all just in the heat of the moment and the result of so much stress both from this situation as well as work and other things.

My Question is do you think there is any chance I can fix the situation or have I completely screwed up? He is my longest and best friend and I still cant believe I would do something like that. I really, Really need to make things right.

View related questions: best friend, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2009):

I would have said, Hey Man I really like you. Why are you telling me about other girls. Now I have to go.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (14 August 2009):

No problem.

It's horrible when you like someone and they don't like you back. You can follow them around for years looking for some clue that they like you, or trying to change so you become what you think they want.

But you have to be strong and go cold turkey. Be you and if he's willing to miss out on that it's his loss.

Just keep telling yourself that it's his loss and you can do better.

Good Luck!! xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

hey. thanks for the advice. I decided I'd rather have him as a mate rather than lose him altogether. I sent him a message explaining everything and was completely honest with him. I am moving overseas soon so hopefully it will be a chance to move on. The whole situation has made me realise that it's not the end of the world if he dosnt feel the same. I just need to keep reminding myself of that. again, Thanks. this is the first time I've actually asked for advice from anyone. I dont like to talk about personal stuff with people but as I can be anonymous on this site, I think I might just be able to start asking for help when I need it. :)nothing has really changed but for the first time in a long time, I am actually happy because I've taken this first step at changing my life for the better. Thankyou

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (14 August 2009):

So basically you were FINALLY honest with him? You stopped lying and pretending to be just friends and you told him you liked him.

That sounds fair enough to me.

You can't go on hurting yourself when he clearly just wants you as a mate.

He knows how you feel so if he wants to be with you he can come after you.

Other than that you can learn how to be strong and get your head straight so you will never be stuck wasting time on a guy who doesn't like you back again.

Good Luck!! xx

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