A
female
age
36-40,
*U(wo)MAN
writes:It's the age old question: Does he like me as more than a friend?Simply put: A coworker continues to invite me to lunch. He is from another country so he is hard to read. I feel like he is just trying to make friends, or he is being polite by suggesting that we "do it again" following each lunch. I have been told that guys won't bother to try to spend time with a girl as only a "friend". But I'm not sure of his intentions.
View related questions:
co-worker Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2012): it's universally true, men don't make effort unless there is a motive. and that motive is usually sex-driven. it doesn't matter where he's from. i would be willing to bet this guy is courting you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2012): I'm a 17 year old guy an im sick of people assuming that i want to get with every girl i spend time with! i personally just find it easier in girls company and pretty much all of my close friends are female but im not attracted to them, i just enjoy there company. iv been in a relationship with a girl 2 years older than me for 8 months now, but ive been really close friends with her for 6 years.
so in answer to your question, there are some guys who will spend time with girls with no intention of getting laid, but unfortunately we in the minority
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 September 2012):
 The jury is still out on whether guys and girls can be friends. But lets look at it from the perspective that they can't, and that guys only want to spend time with a girl if they can flirt with her and possibly have a romance with her. Which in my case is true, I find that I can't have male friends. I'm sure some can, just not me.
Thing is, when you assume that boys and girls can't be friends there are still some EXCEPTIONS from the rule. These exceptions are: co-workers, family, study-colleauges etc. Also, if a man likes a friend of yours, he can possibly become your friend as you know he's already interested in your friend, and wouldn't see you as a possible girlfriend because of your connection to his original love interest.
But in your case, this is a co-worker. Co-workers can be friends regardless of gender, even if you follow the rule that girls can't be friends with guys. I have several male associates that I know from work, university etc. None are close friends, and we hardly, if ever, meet outside of work/university/parties where the entire class is invited.
If he starts to invite you to meet him outside of work, and alone (not in a group with other co-workers), then you can think that maybe he likes you. But as the situation stands, I think this is just a friendly co-worker.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2012): Co-worker lunch is not a date OP, it's more of a routine really.
Just assume he's being friendly until you have some kind of concrete evidence. If he likes you he'll ask you on a proper date.
Anything is possible but seriously, we guys aren't hard to read when we really like you. We pretty much make our intentions clear, the only time guys don't is those friendzone douchebags who are too meek and passive aggressive to actually make a proper effort to romance you, and they're usually not worth dating anyway.
Safest option is to assume it's nothing, that way you don't get your hopes up and things don't get complicated, you're not going to go date a co-worker anyway are you? That would be foolish, so just let the thought go.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 September 2012):
 100 % what SVC said.
Eating lunch is not dating, it's just having company (some times GOOD company) whilst you eat.
I have always had more male friends then female and it's never been about dating.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 September 2012):
 I invite male co-workers to lunch all the time and they me... no one is interested in dating the other...
and to be honest... dating folks you work with is not a great idea...
...............................
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (25 September 2012):
If he wants more from you than friendship, he will make it clear, trust me. Inviting someone over for lunch is pretty harmless, unless he's done or said things that make you suspect otherwise. Does he ever invite someone else? In any case, you haven't provided enough context for us to help you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2012): I had lunch with my male college friend every day for two years and we were just that..friends. x
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2012): Based on my own experiences, I would have to say this is true. No guy has ever tried to just be my friend. They always ended up either wanting a relationship with me, wanting to be friends with benefits, or they just played mind games with me because they didn't really know what they wanted. And the guys who didn't find me attractive just ignored me. If I tried to talk to them, they assumed I liked them and avoided me even more.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2012): Well I have no idea about your situation in particular sorry but guys will definitely hang out with girls who are just friends. One of my best friends is a guy, we hang out nearly every day, and we're both in loving relationships with other people. He may want to be more, but it's entirely possible he just wants to be friends.
...............................
|
