A
female
age
41-50,
*lairyfairy
writes:I've come out of a very controlling, mentally abusive, unhappy relationship. And im still dealing with the pain and upset of how he used to make me feel. I've been to counselling and I am over the worst but not quite there yet. It was a year ago that it happened.. im just finding it really hard to move on and meet someone else. Ive lost all self confidence and have a very low self esteem. i have blokes who want to take me out.but ive just lost my way and really lost how i talk to me men without making them feel that im being harsh. as i know i do. its like i push men away to protect myself. but then i just feel lonely!!feel im going no where! please help
View related questions:
confidence, move on, self esteem Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (13 September 2009):
 I think you should abandon dating until you are feeling stronger - you are young and need to address your relationship issues and how you feel about yourself. As you say, if your self esteem is low then dating can be tough. I would say you need to start feeling more comfortable in social situations by getting out and about. Do volunteer work or something like sports as these non-dating activities will improve your self confidence and sense of importance in the world. It also offers the opportunity to meet some nice people who you can befriend without romantic pressures. Start dating when you feel comfortable and more confident because you may have to kiss a few frogs before meeting a prince charming and that can be a very debilitating experience if you are not feeling robust enough to handle rejection or choose not to continue in a relationship. You will arrive at a time when you feel better but it may take a while. In the meantime, deal with the loneliness by befriending people.
A
female
reader, blood dimond  +, writes (13 September 2009):
 Hunny I know were you are coming from. I was in a abusive relationship for 13yrs and I have been on my own now for 8yrs.but i did wot your doing now i would push anyone away who tryed to get near me. And it took a long time to trust anyone again you have to get stronge in your self and feel safe and happy befor you can move on. It is going to take time but you will get there and you have done the best thing and that was to get out.Take care and I hope you find your Mr right xx
...............................
|
