A
female
age
30-35,
*ittle Miss89
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 1yr 7 months.Last night i went through his phone i know this was wrong but... i found texts he sent about 3 months ago to this girl saying "i enjoyed our sexy kiss last night etc.... I got really upset and confronted him. I really believed he would never cheat on me. He said that we were on a break and to move on he went out on a date with this girl and they kissed. They were texting for about 3 days but nothing came of it. Me and him got back together and its been perfect ever since. He said he never told me as he knew it would break my heart and he didnt want to loose me. I really want to forgive him coz i love him so much and i know he loves me. I know that He did it because he thought it was the end for me and him and he wanted to move on at that time but i just cant get the texts out of my head. I really need an unbiased opinion from someone please can you help?
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female
reader, Little Miss89 +, writes (1 October 2008):
Little Miss89 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou all have really good answers and made me feel alot better. I need to start working on my self confidence and things will keep going up.
Thanx every1 -x-
A
female
reader, Manya  +, writes (25 September 2008):
Dr. Pete is right that this "going on a break" thing is quite variable in its meaning. Is it "breaking up" or is it
being apart (alone) to see if you can each sort out your feelings? Your guy obviously thought it was definition number one, and if he kissed another girl, then he felt it was his right. Basically, it doesn't have to mean too much if you don't let it. Just concentrate on the present, and the love you have for each other now. If everything was perfect now, then you wouldn't ever dwell on this. I think perhaps you need to feel more secure in yourself as a person. Focus on yourself and being a "siren" and all the things that make you YOU. Then, when he senses your confidence, he'll be not only texting, but at your door!!
Love
Manya
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): The problem about going on a break is that sometimes the two people can react very differently, like in your case this guy has looked elsewhere for some attention, whereas I assume the last thing on your mind was getting with someone else and I think that is what has upset you.
If it is true you were on a break then he did not cheat on you, and there is nothing that you need to forgive him for, since he didn't technically do anything wrong. I think you need to see this as one of those unfortunate events which would have been better to have never happened.
You say things have been perfect ever since. Are you sure? And are you sure things are perfect for your boyfriend too? If you are sure about those questions then I really think you need to try and put this down to experience; it is always a bad idea to go on a break without being clear with each other as to whether or not either of you will get involved with someone else.
Make sure he has deleted the texts and the name, and try and move on with things. Plan some fun days out, enjoy your time together and you will have your own text messages with each other, and I assure you if your boyfriend is as happy as you are then the last thing on his mind will be texts from some girl he happened to text for a few days.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (25 September 2008):
 Doesn't hang about does he! Seems a tad quick to move on. I would be questioning why the guy gets in relationships in the first place. Doesn't sound like he can be single even for a week! But apart from that I wouldn't worry too much about the girl personally. Guys txt girls, girls txt guys, ive got loads of numbers on my phone that are blokes from the pub, we txt now n then, doesn't mean I will end up in bed with them. If you're both giving it a serious go now, ask him to delete the txt, and her number. He might of forgotten to. When I split from someone for a couple of months once, i got another guys number, me and the ex got back together and I literally didn't think to delete the other guys number. My guy used my phone to play a game, and couldn't resist a sneak at my contacts and spent the whole day stressing secretly to himself about this number, and I eventually got it out of him what was wrong, and he said about the blokes number.
I had no hesitation deleting the blokes number, and that was that.
C xxxx
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