New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244969 questions, 1084319 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

I found disturbing porn on my boyfriends laptop.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 February 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 22 February 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm 19, my boyfriend's 22, we've been together for a year and a half. I was recently on my his laptop, I was looking at photos and I closed the folder and forgot where I found it. So I looked at recent items, and clicked on one of the photo names. The photo that came up was not the one I was looking at, it was instead Porn. I'm not an idiot, I know my boyfriend looks at porn, most guys do, I don't have a problem with it. But the girls in this photo looked young, I mean younger than 14. And they were in red underwear and heels. I was freaked out. And I can't help but feel weird around him right now. Do I talk to him about? Do I leave it? I wasn't snooping or looking for this! I fear he'll think this and get scared because I know his 'secret'.

View related questions: porn, underwear

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010):

The great majority of males watch porn but never admit to it because they are frightened of upsetting their girlfriend. Unless it involves children or violent misuse of women it is normal, let him get on with it, or even ask to watch it with him and wank him off while watching - he'd really like that.

I'd doubt very much there is any implied criticism of your relationship, but it may be worth asking him if there's anything he'd like you to do that he dare not suggest to you. I bet you'd soon ask him if you wanted something. We men are quite odd shy creatures at times.

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (22 February 2010):

You need to watch his behaviour and downloads over another couple of weeks before you know exactly what you're dealing with. If he has a thing for child porn, then there will be more of it. Clearly if there is more, you actually should report him because he is indirectly responsible for the child porn.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Angzw Zimbabwe +, writes (22 February 2010):

This one is very tricky. Because you need to figure out how he got it before you confront. For example, you could confront him then he could show you that the pics came from an email from a friend with the subject heading "this is disgusting, let's help these poor girls". Or he can claim another friend used his computer and he can pretend to be sickened and even just as shocked as you. Men are very smart about alibis and such. What I would do is pretend to be normal then watch for a pattern over a few weeks. Keep checking without him knowing anything is going on and if he is into underage porn then you will soon pick up a pattern. An underage fanatic usually doesn't have just one pic, if he is into it you will see more shyt so just be quiet and keep your eyes open. I'm telling you that if you confront without background/pattern evidence, he will talk you out of it and make you feel like an idiot for not trusting him. Then after that he will be real careful and you will never catch him again.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, ScarlettOhara United States +, writes (22 February 2010):

this is a hard one. Hmmm... honesty is a good quality in the relationship. If I had a bf that was doing this I would definitely confront him about it ... after all it will keep bothering u later. It would be beneficial to both of u to have a mature discussion about it and don't put blame on each other.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, realman United States +, writes (22 February 2010):

Frist, I have to say If I were you I would have the same say. But I want to say, take it easy, it's really a piece of cake. To watch porn pictures or movies is normal for an adult man. Of course , if a adult man involved in porn materious and caused some problems, it should be careful.

You have seen your friend's secret, I supposed you have two choices.one is to tell him about it, and remind him not involve in it too much. another is to pretend that you don't know anything about it, to get along with your boyfriend as usual. eventually, it's not big deal, don't be scared by this tiny thing. After all you and he are adults. I'm not sure if my views will help you a little.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010):

Due to the age of the girls in the photos you got only 2 main choices you need to leave him and contact the police as the pics are of children and is child porn and is wrong you need to be carefull not to let him no you no you can only do best for the child in the pic as she is a victim and this needs to be stoped

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "I found disturbing porn on my boyfriends laptop."

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312819000027957!