A
male
age
,
*ickie
writes:My wife had an affair with her boss from 1984 to 1988. she told me about. it hurt bad, I could not eat or sleep for days. we went for help but i wanted more sex than before. it would turn me on, thinking about what she told me. she told how much he said he enjoyed it. how good it felt... and then when i thought about it I got truned on and I forgave her. I am now 62 she's 61. I'm still in love with her, I forgave her because God said we must forgive but has any one else had this happen and it hurt but you would have more sex???
View related questions:
affair Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, zesbat  +, writes (23 May 2011):
your not crazy, i know way to much. It hurts less to play with it then to just dwell on it. I have terrible trust issues with my wife now, and alot of things still hurt, that being said, there is a new spark in my pants! I dont know if its a fetish or a means of couping. Witch ever, at least there was something in it for me.
A
male
reader, dickie +, writes (18 April 2010):
dickie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes this happens to alot of husband it gives them freedom
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2010): My wife had an emotion affaiir by text with a guy. She actually never met him. I reacted very badly when the whole thing came to light but later, I was overcome with huge feelings of guilt, for having forced her to end it. I felt that I had robbed her of something special in her life.
I'm still trying to figure that one out!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2010): I think you can interpret your desire for more sex as being turned on, but at a more profound level I think it rises from a deep hurt and pain that causes depression and anxiety, and when that is centered around sexual jealousy that anxiety can fuel your desire for more sex, almost to an obsessional level as a way to cope with the anxiety that you cannot control.
I don't see that as channeling your jealousy into a more pleasurable level...because you are still experiencing extreme anxiety over the whole matter which is quite distressing to say the least.
I am glad you were able to forgive and move on, I do hope you won't forget though and that neither will your wife that she hurt you this much.
...............................
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (9 March 2010):
 Yes. You will find the answer to this in the book Sperm Wars. The idea is that sexual jealousy, when re-channeled can make the male orgasm more pleasurable.
Basically, the premise is...
...when a man feels that his female mate might be, or is having sex with another male, his body responds by increasing his sex drive. This is to do two things. The first is to replenish his sperm more often, and because he is aware that competing sperm might be inside her, his body produces an even more intense orgasm in him to expel more sperm from him, in order to compete with the other man's sperm inside her.
This is something that happens quite often for men in the swinger lifestyle that come to very much get very turned on watching their wives have sex with other men.
It is the same energy that sexual jealousy is derived from. Just re-channel into a more pleasure way, instead of getting violent.
Hope this helps.
-Frank
...............................
|
