A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I've recently started dating a guy, I'm 15 and he's 14, but because he's in the academic year below me my boy "friends" think it's weird.Sometimes they go as far as hitting him and tripping him up, "as a joke"For some reason, when they do this, it makes me feel less attracted to him and I don't want to break up with him, but you have this dream that your boyfriend is tough and can protect you, when he can't even protect himself!It's so embarrassing specially when its my ex boyfriend doing it.what should I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2007): ur friends r arseholes.If u dont stand by ur man (which he will turn into - hes only 14 now) then u are 1 too.sorry - truth hurts.
A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (9 May 2007):
 Sound like you need to stand up for your boyfriend. Bullying is VERY serious and is never pretty. You need to tell your friends to stop right now because as you said he is younger than you plus he is only a kid.
As the to him not being a man thing. He isnt a Man he is a young Boy, hes only 14 a little kid, so cut him some slack and stand up for him. If you dont you proberly dont deserve him
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A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (9 May 2007):
 If you can't stick up for your boyfriend, you don't deserve him.
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (9 May 2007):
 i think you should stick up for your boyfriend, dont leave him to fight them off. if you do he may think you dont care, or dont like him as much as you say you do. it could end up with you two finishing. unless you want the relationship to end. i think you should stick up for him and talk to the people who are hurting him. it isnt ok and you are doing the right thing sticking up for him. hope i helped x x x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2007): Dear, he doesn't have to protect you! You aren't the victim of bullying here..he is. What type of friends do you have, that they feel the right to hit him and trip him up. What do you want your bf to do? Get mad and start swinging his fists...you know that your friends will beat him to a bloody pulp. It's not reasonable of you, to expect him to defend himself against frequent attacks from someone older, bigger, and tougher than he is, or against group attacks. What chance in hell does he have, standing up for himself against a group of boys who taken it upon themselves to think he's weird, so that give them the 'right' to be absolute jerk. As far as I am concerned, it takes more of a man to walk away from this type of situation.
Start viewing your bf with more compassion and respect and start seeing just what he's up against.
The best thing you can do, is support him and tell your friends to back off. After all, when he started to date you, It was 'your' friends who began to harass him. Since when does a guy have to prove his mettle to his gf, by knocking a few heads around and being as ignorant as these friends. Change your attitude about a guy's role in your life. As far as I am concerned, he's better off to save his butt and just walk away...he know's your friends are worth getting beat up over. He may not be physically stronger, but I can assure...he sounds like the one who has more emotional strength and maturity. Show him that you respect him, irregardless. If you can't ..cut him loose so he can find someone who has decent friend who accept him and someone who cares about him, for just who he is.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (9 May 2007):
 He very young one of these days he's gonna bust a few bullies' heads. Stand by your man!
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A
male
reader, forgonepath +, writes (9 May 2007):
It seems like you already know what's going on since you put "friends" in quotations when you talked about your boy "friends." They're just jealous. If your guy was more manly, then they'd simply call him an asshole and arrogant etc. That's just how us men deal with our jealousy when our female "friends" go out and get themselves a boyfriend. All you have to do is focus on his positive points and talk about how amazing he is etc. in front of them. RESPECT him and let them know you won't hang out with them if they can't respect him as well. Soon they'll realize that maybe there is something about him that you see but they don't, and they'll stop messing around with him. If you play your cards right, they'll even start looking up to this kid wanting to be more like him.
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