A
female
age
26-29,
*hloe.answers.
writes:Okay well I'm 14 and me and my friend are "talking" to these two guys who are best friends and my guy who is 16 lives with my friends guy who is 15. Well we are having sex on and off and I give my guy blowjobs all the time. Well after we have sex he is kinda distant but before I leave he hugs and kisses me and stuff. Most of the time I feel used after sex but I asked him and he said he wasn't using me. What do I do? Help?!?
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (27 October 2010):
 If you feel used, then you're getting used. You're just "talking" to him? You're not even boyfriend/girlfriend and you've already jumped into bed with him. Why don't you ask him where you stand with him? Suggest a relationship and seems what he says. If he ignores the topic all together, or says he wants to take things slow then you definitely know he's using you.
A
female
reader, Khloe.answers. +, writes (27 October 2010):
Khloe.answers. is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes. We do, do
other stuff other than just meet up
and have sex. Usually we don't Do
that until I'm about to
leave like maybe an
hour before. I mean he calls me beautiful and is really sweet when he's not with my friends guy.
I mean of course he isn't sweet all the time but he is a jerk too I'm not gonna lie. But I call him out on his crap and he gets mad then he gets over it. I mean I did jump into having sex quick but I like it and him.
And I know it's illegal....
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A
female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (26 October 2010):
 For christs sake girl, stop having sex!
Firstly its illegal
Secondly you are FAR too young, even if you don't think you are.
This is not the thing you should be doing at your age.
Of course he is going to tell you he is not using you...if you are giving out sex and blow jobs like a tap!
He doesn't love you or respect you if he is acting that way after sex. He's kissing and hugging you to keep you sweet so you will still keep giving him out favours.
Stop being a sex doll. Get your act together and never see this guy again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): I think you're too young too!!
And yes, you may want it, he may want it - but are you both emotionally and otherwise ready for a relationship like this?
Think about it: if you get pregnant, would he have the means or inclination to help you out or be the kid's daddy?
If you got sick or needed help with something, would he help you out?
Do you only meet up for sex or do you do other things together too? Like go for a walk, to the movies, to the park, etc.? Do you talk about important things and stuff?
It's good to be emotionally close first, it seems you two are just 'physically close'... You don't seem to really know much about him, his plans in life etc?
It just seems because he lives with your friend's guy and you all hang out, you feel like you gotta sleep with this guy too?
You may both be just experimenting with sex... Or might be 'looking for love'...? Do take time to get the person well first... It seems you just 'jumped into something' with someone you don't know that well first... (?)
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A
female
reader, Khloe.answers. +, writes (26 October 2010):
Khloe.answers. is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell he tells me he wants me to get off, he wants to
go
down on me and other stuff but I stopp him. He was a virgin too whenever we first had sex and I honestly feel like were in the akward stage still.. I really like this kid and yes I'm not in love even
tho I do love him..
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (26 October 2010):
 You feel used because you aren't having sex with someone you love, you're having sex to make him happy. I suggest you step back and find a happy, loving relationship. Things will be different and you'll be so much happier.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): your way to young to have sex anyway you are 14 for gods sake!
how can you feel used when you havent even basicly started real life yet
forget having sex i say and focus on the real things in life. :)
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A
female
reader, TRL88 +, writes (26 October 2010):
Well I would have to be honest and say that most of these puppy love relationships don't last. I was with my first love from 13 and got pregnant at 15. I can't say that It was love. You can't really determine what it is at this age. Most likely your being used. He may not intentionally mean to hurt you but theres more than just feeling used. The way that your feeling is only the begining of a rollercoaster ride. So if I were you I would spend less time having sex/oral with this guy. You might be in it for love and he may be in it just for the sex. be careful
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (26 October 2010):
 Hon, a teenage guy simply is not prepared to commit. He's grateful for what you've done for him, but that's all it is. And frankly he's afraid of the commitment that what you've done implies. He's not going to commit to a relationship, but he'll keep coming back for the good feelings you're giving him. Yes, he's using you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): First off, youre too young to be having sex as such concepts require a matured personality and at your age bracket that is not achieved, logically. Get rid of this clown, he sounds very selfish and I do apologize for that. No woman should have to experience that.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (26 October 2010):
 I was in a very similar sort of relationship when I was around 15-16. Yes I did feel used as well and the guy turned out to be a selfish prick. Yours does too. Why don't you re-think about whether you really want to continue this relationship on a sexual level? A sabbatical from sexual activity would serve you well at this point in your life. I wish I'd done the same when I was in that situation.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (26 October 2010):
 It sounds like you're just giving and get nothing in return. If you're not feeling good from having sex or giving blowjobs, then stop doing it. It does sound like he's using you, you're right to feel bad about it. So stop doing it and find someone who's less selfish. Even if he doesn't want a relationship, he should at least be satisfying you. If he isn't and isn't even making an effort, ditch the bum.
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