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I feel stuck. Did I waste too much time?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 August 2018) 1 Answers - (Newest, 13 August 2018)
A female India age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hi all. I will try to be short and specific. I'm a biotech grad. And I was hopelessly running behind a research job for 3 and a half long years after my graduation but I did not achieved it. At the same time due to this unemployment and conflicts with my mother I had a severe depression. I regretted the time I wasted doing nothing and accepted a simple low-pay BPO job. Now after 6 months of this job, the intensity of depression is lowered, may be because of occupied mind,, but now I am feeling so insecure as well as an inferiority complex is developing inside me. Plz help me where did I go wrong? Am I thinking in a wrong way? I'm 26 and still single and virgin I'm depressed about this as well. What should I do? Did I wasted so much time? I feel stucked.

View related questions: depressed, insecure

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2018):

There is nothing wrong with you, and it sounds like you are starting to take some steps toward your independent adult life. This stage can be hard and intimidating sometimes, and you seem to have overcome this already. Good for you!

Don't feel bad about your job. There is absolutely nothing wrong with working in the support areas, back office operations, accounting, payroll, or whatever. This is a perfectly normal and very good first step job out of college. (I do not know why everyone thinks that as soon as you graduate from some university they are automatically on the fast track to a six figure salary and luxury life. It has never been this way, and never will. Especially since more people are getting college degrees than ever before, and the competition is much more prevalent.)

Take this job seriously! Do quality work and pay attention to details. Take this as an opportunity to start building a network of professionals in your field, and get to know your co-workers who may also be up and coming like yourself. Stand out and get promoted. This will be your next step to the career you will earn going forward.

Please note I used the word "earn". Remember just because you are a certain age, or have a certain degree from a certain university, does not mean you are owed a specific job that you may want. You have to earn it by working hard and putting yourself out there to be known by the people who make those kind of decisions.

Also you may be able to join some organizations to help with this in your community. There is probably a chamber of commerce, and rotary club. Some of these have specific groups of young professionals that meet. Get involved in one or more of these that interest you. It will help you professionally, and may even help you meet a special someone that you have lots in common with.

I am glad to hear that you notice your depression getting less once you have taken that job and putting yourself and your time to work. If you continue to take steps like that I think you will start to find some happiness in your life. Don't compare yourself to others, or anything on social media, or movies, or whatever. You have your own life and path, and are the only one who can make the most of it. Time is more precious than money, so use it all as best you can.

Do things you enjoy, and spend time with people you care about. Spend time with those you want to get to know better, and do what you can to help others. Do the best work you can at your job because it is all important. If you can do these things I think you will be happy with yourself, and after that you will be able to find another person to be happy with if that is what you want.

I hope this helps and I did not ramble too much. Best of luck!


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