A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my husband have together for 5 years and have been married for 3... We got pregnant about 9 months ago but i lost the baby and didint tell him because he said he would leave me... I dont know what to do because he is going to tell everyone i faked it and i dont want to talk to anyone in his family about it... I just want to be left alone.. I was hoping i would get pregnant again and then everything would be ok but that didnt happen...So i just need to know what to do because i am so lost.... Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (28 November 2010):
 This man does not deserve to be a father nor a husband. This sort of tragedy tends to bring with it a test of character and your husband failed miserably. He should be there for you, grieving with you, doing anything to help you so you can both move on from this. But instead, he chooses to take a course of actions that threaten to ruin your life so. divorce him. This is not a relationship you should be raising a child with. He is nothing but poison to you.
I am sorry for the your loss and I do hope that in the future you may find some peace.
I hope that helps.
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (27 November 2010):
 SillyB is right...what are you doing making babies in an unhappy marriage? I do understand how emotionally painful it can be to lose a baby as I have suffered two miscarriages. However my husband was there for me. I cannot imagine having to go through all that alone. If you don't feel you can openly talk to him, what are you doing with him? Having a baby with this man will not mend your relationship. While children are great, they are also very stressful and terribly hard work. If you are having relationship problems now, these will be multiplied ten-fold when a baby comes along...sleepless nights and having no time to yourself. You need to sort out what is wrong in your marriage before you start thinking about bringing children into what sounds like an unhappy environment.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI told him about loseing the baby and things go way out of controle he told his family that there is no baby and now his sister is posting it all over the web and i dont even want to leave the house .... i dont know what to do about this i feel so alone and my parents think i need to be locked up or something because i am loseing my mind... so now everyone in his family thinks i faked it and now all my friends do to and i just need to know what to do i love him i wouldint lie to him he just wanted the baby so bad he made me feel like if i did lose it that he would never speak to me... we got pregnet once before and lost that baby to so i dont know please let me know what you think...
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A
female
reader, FloridaCatGirl +, writes (27 November 2010):
 I'm so sorry you lost your baby. Why didn't you feel you could tell your husband? If you can't rely on your own husband to love and support you in your time of need then something is wrong. You need to tell your husband that you lost the baby. This is not something you can hide from him.
Did he threaten to leave if you didn't get pregnant? If this the case, then you need to move on. This man sounds selfish and incredibly insensitive.
Please let us know what happens. Stay strong!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): tell him the truth n try agin
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 November 2010):
 You need to tell him that you lost the baby, at the end of the day, if he loved you he would be grieving with you not splitting up with you. Its a lose to both of you and you need to grieve together, if he leaves you because you lost your baby, something that is not your fault then he is not even close to being a man. If he is to leave you over something like this then you are way better off without him believe me hun. So sit down and tell him that you lost the baby.
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A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (27 November 2010):
 I think there is a bigger problem here. Why are you with a man who does not support you and treat you well? He would leave you?! He would tell everyone you faked it!!?? Consider this a blessing in disguise, you're not having a baby with a very abusive man!! You need to leave this relationship. Time to wake up hun, he doesn't sound like a quality man at all. He doesn't sound like a man you should have a baby with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (27 November 2010):
I think there is a bigger problem here. Why are you with a man who does not support you and treat you well? He would leave you?! He would tell everyone you faked it!!?? Consider this a blessing in disguise, you're not having a baby with a very abusive man!! You need to leave this relationship. Time to wake up hun, he doesn't sound like a quality man at all. He doesn't sound like a man you should have a baby with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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