A
male
age
30-35,
*nonymous_jp
writes:hey! so my gf of two and a half years cheated on me and it was terrible etc so i thought why not get back out there! so i got this girls number who i thought was pretty cute in a spur of the moment decision, Í'd never seen her before, but later that night i ended up hooking up with two topless chicks, almost having a threesome but declined and ended up letting my hornyness take hold and had sex with one of the topless girls, but i feel SO guilty now. I've definitely learnt that one nighters arent for me but i just feel so guilty because i got this girls number.am i a bad guy?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (26 January 2012):
 Pat yourself on the back anonymous_jp for recognizing that a One Night Stand achieves nothing - except - sometimes a nasty taste in the mouth.
And please forgive yourself for this lapse in judgement.
I realize that some people judge their 'value' to themselves as a player when they can no longer count how many one night stands they have had.
But the truly successful person is the one who identifies, woos, grows to love, builds a relationship and reamins faithful to a special person in their life.
A committed faithful relationship builds up long term trust. It takes more work. It takes occasional compromise and good communition skills. And lots of RESPECT on both sides.
Honesty, trust and being 100 % committed to each other.
The end rewards though far exceed a million one night stands.
Stop feeling guilty.
But please do start writing your list of the ideal person interms of personal qualities and their character and their goals and aspirations for the future.
When you find them you will know, since you will already have your list in your head. It helps you recognize 'the ONE' when you meet the love of your life.
Good Luck
and Best wishes for a Happy Future with the Love of your Life
A
male
reader, anonymous_jp +, writes (26 January 2012):
anonymous_jp is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsorry i forgot to specify that i broke it off with my ex because she cheated on me, lied about it and treated me like i was less than a person. no chance of us being ok.i basically just feel guilty for having a one night stand in general and asking whether its morally alright or not. which i guess would be based on opinions only so its probably a pointless question anyway. i dont think im so confused anymore, if it felt wrong for me it probably isnt my thing.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (26 January 2012):
Do not label yourself as the bad guy.
Instead look at it as a rare example of poor judgement.
It is not smart in a relationship to use 'pay-back' as a way to punish your partner.
Revenge in a relationship is never sweet. It poisons the relationship. But you can try to improve your responses and your attitude so it never happens again.
Yes what you did was wrong. And it did not work out too well did it?
If you want your relationship to work then please put all your energy into building trust with honesty and empathy and consideration for your beloved.
Best Wishes for your future
Abella
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