A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My gf and i been toether 4 years, we have a child,had a hard time to get a home off our own, i worked and studyied hard for her.She spent her time with her friends always leaving me at home to mind the baby,every weekend the same and she stayed out late drinking at parties.I have asked her if she has cheated on me she says no but i have found condoms that are not mine in our home and she is very suggestive on some internet sites with other men, she dresses up like she never did for me to go out and it is usually with her single friends. She has even lied in the past to me about nights out so i would stay and babysit, has she cheated, i dont know she does not seem the type? She now went and got a thing in her arm which stops periods and she says that is what it is for? I know she has lied to me in the past and my head is wrecked.She said that i did not care for her but i provided everything she needed. I may have missed the finer things but i was more concerned about getting us out of debt so we could enjoy a better life. I never once told her i did not careWhen things were better all i wanted her to do was keep the house and she would not do it as she said she could not because of the baby but she expected me to do it when she was on holiday and i had the baby.She wants to break up or have a break for a month or 2i dont like the idea of that as i know how i feel about her and the thought of her with anyone else would destroy any relationship or friendship.She told me when she come home at about 6am from a party that we were over and i should of known it months ago which is making feel that she has been living a single life while i was at home minding the baby.We did not have much sex for a while but with all the stress i was under i was having problems.I don't know what to do and my head is in ovedrive. I wrote out some sheets so we each could write how we felt about finishing, not finishing, 2 month beak and what we feel we have done to each other and she is holding back on doing it?
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a break, cheated on me, condom, debt, on holiday, period Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007): You're being used. Get custody of the kid and move on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2007): well you know to sit down and think is this what you really want? shes coming back late making you look after your child. she needs to step up and be a mother to her child. yeah i understand mothers need time out to them self. but shes taking liberty. if you wasn't there to look after the child. where would she be? she need to realise that you have done alot of your family. now tell her to face up and be a mother if she can't be a girl friend. don't worry about the break. your much more than that so don't get your self worked up about it. jus sit her down and tell her whats, what. make sure she listens to you. ask her where she wants to be. then you need to ask yourself if being in this relationship is where you wana be.
i hope this helps you my the right choise. follow your heart.
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A
female
reader, love maker +, writes (4 December 2007):
well you know to sit down and think is this what you really want? shes coming back late making you look after your child. she needs to step up and be a mother to her child. yeah i understand mothers need time out to them self. but shes taking liberty. if you wasn't there to look after the child. where would she be? she need to realise that you have done alot of your family. now tell her to face up and be a mother if she can't be a girl friend. don't worry about the break. your much more than that so don't get your self worked up about it. jus sit her down and tell her whats, what. make sure she listens to you. ask her where she wants to be. then you need to ask yourself if being in this relationship is where you wana be.
i hope this helps you my the right choise. follow your heart.
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A
female
reader, bqagirl2692  +, writes (4 December 2007):
 It seems to me she has let your relationship go. I like the fact that you are doing all you can to provide the better things in life for your family and your doing all you can to fix this relationship that is on the high rocks. It takes two people to fix a relationship. SEcond of all, she is being very immature and irresponsible for her family. She is putting everything on you and this isnt how you are suppose to raise a family. Finding used condoms in yoour house that arent yours is a sign of cheating. Plus, going out every weekend and spending too much time on her own and coming at whatever time she pleases is an irresponsible mother and girlfriend. Im sorry to say but if she isnt making any effort to fix this relationship then its best just to let go even if its hard considering she is the mother of your child but that will never change that fact. You both have to discuss and figure out a solution to the problem or discuss how it can work out if the both of you arent together. BE careful with your child and dont let this situation get out of hand and effect him as well. Be there for him no matter what you and your gf decide. You strike me as a good father so i dont think that wil be much of a problem. Good luck!
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