A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi I am here to ask how to stop hurting over my ex. We were together for over 5 years. She was nice to me most of the time and said that I was a wonderful person but she did not love me anymore. She said I didn't do anything wrong, but I feel like such a failure. I tried very hard to treat her with kindness and respect. She used to tell me that I needed to dress better and be more confident, but I guess I didn't pick up on the hints because I thought she loved me on a deeper level then that. We have been broken up now for a long time, and even though she is with someone else she still calls me regularly as a friend. I have offered to get back together with her several times since our breakup but has not expressed any interest in that. I still love her though, even though it's been many years since we have been together as a couple. I can't seem to date anyone else because my heart is still hers. Everytime I go out on dates, I think of her, and I feel like my heart is encased in ice, like I can't feel anything for anyone else, even though I have tried very hard. I know she will never love me again, but I feel stuck. What should I do? I don't want to feel this way anymore. I want to move forward but don't know his.
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male
reader, cupid_1234 +, writes (11 January 2011):
 If you really want her back, then you need to move forward. You need to stop being needy and you need to ignore her completely. We all want love, its not that there is only one person in the world who can give it. The moment you are in love with another girl, you will forget her. Trust me. You have to stop thinking that you lost her. Its she who lost you. Why you have to *try hard* to treat her with kindness and respect? Doesn't it come naturally to you? If not, then you need to be urself. If you are a bad ass, then be that way. Girls love that. And you will enjoy that as well. Enjoy your life. Live it in your own terms and the world will follow you. Don't chase happiness, you live life as you want to and happiness and love will chase you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): It would be better if you had little or no contact with her as this is stopping you from moving on. Being friends is all very well, but you are not helping yourself. Sad as it is, I think you need to say that for the time being you cannot be in contact as the breakup is still affecting you and holding you back from moving on. Sometimes it is easier to get closure when you know totally that the other person does not want you and you just cut them out of your life. There is someone out there who will want you if you give yourself a chance and free your heart.
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