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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Here goes, im 36 years old, have a daughter who is ten and me and her dad split up when she was six monthes. It took a long time to get over him, stopped crying every night for four years and since then i have dated every once in a while, slept with a couple of men but never settled down again.I feel very strongly that i want to protect my daughter and to be a good role model so i have stayed single rather than risk being in and out of relationshis and truth be known i have become used to being on my own, maybe a little to used to it.But i am feeling that i am missing out now,a lot of my freinds are settled dwon, have nice houses, go on lovely holidays away, talk about having a good sex life and i feel that i have nothing compared to them.I struggle to make ends meet, i have not had sex in about four years and i feel like life is passing me by and i have nothing for myself.My daughter (ten years old) is clever and beautiful and has been accepted into a good school so i have no worries about her, but i feel i have nothing for myself.I go out sometimes but through lack of money and a lot of my freinds being settled i dont go out a lot and i never seem to meet any eligible nice men anymore.I have just finished a degree and yet cannot find a job and i feel like i have wasted my time if im on the scrap heap now. I would love to meet a nice man, settle down and have a good life but this never seems to come my way and yet other woman i know who have put it out there big time and i feel to the detriment of their children have got what i would like.Go on tell me im feeling sorry for myself, but i have tried and tried and yet feel like i always hit a brick wall, any advice anyone?? Thanks x
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi to the last poster, what you have put makes sense and your right i need to try and focus on the positive aspects of my life. I am sorry to hear that you have suffered a great deal and that you are still trying to make things better for yourself. I hope that you can also improve your life and happiness in the future, you sound like you are incredibly determined not to give up and i admire that.
Thanks again to everybody for your kind words and your wisdom, i have felt better since i posted this question and read your thoughts on it, all the best to you all and happy new year x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2010): I had the exact same experience. I went through so much depression and a downward spiral. Sometimes we have to have the strength to look at the positive. If you get down take a walk through and ICU unit at a hospital. These people young and old will never have an opportunity for sex or all the wonderful things you and I are waiting for. Your daughter is healthy and smart. That is wonderful! Try to find some job, that is not the perfect job but your chances of getting hired increase when you are employeed. I have not had sex in years either and I am in my mid 40's. I keep meeting potential guys but usually they are only after one thing. I am hoping I am sifting through the bad ones to find true love. I like you cried on the floor for years after my divorce. I am alone my duaghter is nine. It is so hard but life can be so much worse Best of luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2010): Your welcome,
Think about this, I know you think your friends lives are wonderful and they have it all looking in from the outside, and I hope it is, but no one really knows what peoples lives really are, it might not be as wonderful as you think.
Take care
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female
reader, sarcy24  +, writes (12 January 2010):
 You have hit the nail on the head there. It's what friends SAY they have. Not always the truth believe me.
36 is still very young and you are clearly a kind and intelligent woman and there will be loads of men out there who would be interested. Most certainly have a look at the dating sites and see if anyone takes your fancy and have a couple of meals out to get you back in the dating game. It is very easy to meet men and go out with them it is finding one you actually want to be with that is the fun.
Things will puck up soon in the job market in the UK it cannot go on like this forever so keep thinking positively and all will come right.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Myrrh and Vintage, lovely words of wisdom x
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your lovely words, just cant help feeling down sometimes about life, especially when my freinds go on about their lovely husbands, their holidays and generally being loved and spoilt. They say the best things come to those who wait, but i have been waiting years to meet a decent man and for life to pick up and whilst i do all i can to improve my life and i know i do far more than some other woman it just seems at the moment that nothing ever goes right for me.
Sorry im on a whinge again lol, but im know that the recession is not my fault and i ahve chosen to be careful for my daughters sake but would love to have a bit of what my freinds say they have!
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A
female
reader, Myrrh +, writes (12 January 2010):
 You have put your education and your daughters well being before anything else. You are fantastic! A degree and a beautiful, intelligent daughter. You should be VERY proud of yourself. Who knows how you or your daughter might have turned out if you had been tempted to find `a body for the bed` as some do when they are scared of being alone. Your little girl might not be so happy and well adjusted now. You might never have finished your degree. Things may have been better for sure. BUT they might also have been a lot worse! So celebrate where you are in life right now and be positive. You may have hit a bump in the road because after all the hard work you did for your degree, you cant find a job but hey! The UK isnt the world. Have you thought of looking into emigrating? There are so many things you could do, so dont despair just think outside the box. Even if you dont want to go abroad, just the fact that you have the freedom to make choices like that, puts you streets ahead of most...who are struggling with bad marriages/bad relationships/wayward kids/mortgages/debts.
As for feeling you have missed out on a love life... Like yourself, i put my children before my love life. Once they were settled i had the time and freedom to date. I met someone and we are very happy. I was 50 when we met and he was 34. Life hasnt passed you by. Its all out there waiting for you x
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male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (12 January 2010):
 Let me tell you," LIFE IS NOT CHANCE BUT CHOICE'
Your saying is,'i have not had sex in about four years "
True, you missed most essential experience of life,but it is never too late. You can begin with your wake up.
Make firm determination on following.
1. About job of your choice, and get it.
2 About your hobby, and crate your mastery on your subject.
3 Define your desire, its method, its contents and go for
with firm determination and get it.
Your dream men will find you out, is sure result.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2010): Trust me when I tell you, you are not on your own crying every night over someone that broke your heart, even more so when there is a child.
You should be proud of yourself you are raising a child on your own, you have got a degree, so many people just sit there waiting for things to improve, but you are doing something about it. I know you can't find a job right now, but that isn't you fault, It's the way the country is at the moment, your degree isn't going anywhere and when things pick up, you will find work.
I agree with Gina, there are men out there looking for a woman your age, don't give up hope.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 January 2010):
Actually you've done a really good job, so don't put yourself down yet. I don't have kids, and in fairness I don't have all the bills and commitments you, do but I can to an extent understand how you feel. I was without a job for a year after losing mine, and it can make you feel very down about it all. The thing you have to do is take everything one step at a time. You're focusing on everything you think is wrong, rather than just one thing at a time. In the end I had to set my own company up, perhaps you could do that? (depending what your degree is). And keep sending your CV out, don't give up. It can take a lot of work, but you will get there. As Gina says, are there any clubs that are setting up in your area that you can attend to meet people just to get speaking more, and just get out? Instead of focusing on all the things you think are wrong, take one and focus on it, then take another. If you try to solve too many things at once, you won't solve any. You'll get there.
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female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (12 January 2010):
Put up a profile and nice pretty pic on www.connectingsingles.com. I felt the same way once that with 3 kids no decent guy would want to date me. But its not true. At 36 you are now free to date rich old handsome daddies in their 50's who's kids have left home and wives have long since kicked the bucket!!! To them its a huge ego boost that a woman in her 30's is interested in them and how about a date to the Carribean!!! Ok I'm being funny here but seriously, there is plenty available, trust me.
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