A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i feel so silly writing this but i so need advice.i work with a guy and ive worked with him since november. even from day 1 ive really liked him. he was in a bad way because his wife cheated on him and he was having a mini meltdown. whilst he was working with me ive helped him build back his confidence and we get on so well and helped him through all his work assessments because hes still in his first year. my manager is very negative and had always been negative about me helping my friend and doesnt like us working together.i work hard and so does he. i have some worries about him because i dont think hes completely honest with me and hes told some tall things about his circumstances which dont ring true-like he has a lot of savings etc which doesnt appear to be the case. he has 4 kids from 2 ex's. anyway we get on really well and i do adore him. i thought it was just a crush but its not. we had a huge heated row today because he keeps worrying about his first year and the fact my crap managers always on mine and his case even though we get on so well. anyway he went his way i went mine-in floods of tears. we spoke a while later and he knew i was distraught but didnt really react. i know im stupid and thought he cared because hes always given me that impression but since then ive heard nothing. has he any feelings for me-am i an idiot for thinking so ? ive literally done everything for him and he knows this but i feel a fool. does he have any feelings for me please help
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 May 2010):
You're clearly a lovely lady. Don't sit there thinking you're a fool. You're not. There is something wrong with this man. It's him, not you, and not his cheating wife or those other two ex's. This is a man with 2 ex's, kids by both and another wife who has cheated. . Maybe it's just him. You're lovely to have helped him so much, but you mustn't try to solve his many problems. He has to do it for himself. I think this man has problems, I don't think he is able to deal with them himself, so he leans on others. I suspect all this ex's and his current wife have seen this, and now you have too. this is a man you don't need to be concerned about. I know you adore him, but it's time to step back and get back to your own life. I think you've just found out what he's really like. Maybe he does like you but has problems showing it. But either way, he seems to be a lot of trouble. Also, remember that it has only been one day, not a week or something. Men need time to think about arguments before they talk. So maybe he'll get better with time. But don't forget the other points I made.
A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 Difficult to say. My guess is he doesn't know what he's feeling. He has way too much stress right now to add something else into the mix. Is he still married?
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